TL;DR Insane sparks with a colleague (we both work remotely in different cities), neither of us have acknowledged out loud what everyone else around us sees, about to see him on a work trip we’re both traveling to, should I make a move or keep it professional? (I’m the client, but he actually is higher on the totem pole within his company than I am within mine.)
This is more of a rant, but I’m also open to advice as to whether I should just disengage or not.
I (37F) a man (33M) in a real life meet cute sort of way recently. I can’t stand the dating apps because of all the text-y text-y when in reality I cannot sustain interest in a person if I don’t have in-person chemistry with them. This guy and I were flirting and bantering for a good two hours, exchanged numbers, and after a few days of idle chatter texting, I finally made a “hint hint” joke that this cute guy I’d met still hadn’t asked me out.
We finally do go out and have a perfectly nice time. Not exactly sparks flying sexual tension, but the setting wasn’t ideal for that.
And I’m not actively looking to date just for the sake of dating, so while I think he’s attractive and would like to get to know him better, I figure I’ll take a hint and not expect to hear from him again.
But I do hear from him again.
And again.
And again. He’s texting.
Asking me about more of my interests, telling me what he’s up to, asking how my day is going, but no indication he’s actively hoping to see me again.
What is the deal? I actually asked HIM the first time if he wanted to hang, but he was busy, then I had to hint hint nudge nudge to find out if he actually did want to go out. Then when we did, I said “me too, we should do this again some time” when he says he had a good time at the end of the night, so clearly he’s not in danger of a “sorry, just wasn’t feeling it” rejection.
So why not just say “hey, I’d like to see you again, you free this week?” Or “hey so my schedule is really crazy the next few weeks so I don’t know that I can try to set plans but I want you to know I would like to see you again”?
Does he expect me to spell it out for him every time?
Why does it feel like so many of y’all men so bad at this?! It feels like none of y’all know how to DATE a woman anymore and everyone is just “talking.”
Would it be overreacting if I were just like “hey I’ll be honest I kind of hate getting to know somebody via text message, I’d rather get to know you in person, so if you’re not planning on trying to see me again, no hard feelings, but this is me, dipping ✌️”?
Because men. What are y’all doing out here.
The pettier/sillier the better. (Or… maybe not “better” but more fun, lol)