So my nanny family is expecting a new baby at the end of July. They are cutting my hours down from 9-6 to 9-2 for the whole time she’s on maternity leave. My question is should the 4 hours that they cut fall under guranteed hour pay? or since the hours got cut thats just my hours for now.
Need Advice: My boyfriend and I couldn’t afford his best friend’s destination wedding, and now the bride blocked me?
I just need some outside opinions because I genuinely don’t know if I’m missing something here.
My boyfriend’s best friend got married recently, and it was a destination wedding. Between flights, hotel, transportation, food, taking time off work, getting a sitter for the weekend etc., we were looking at spending around $2,000–$3,000 to attend. We really wanted to go, but financially it just wasn’t realistic.
The thing is, we told them about 3 months before the wedding that there was a good chance we wouldn’t be able to make it because of money. They told us to RSVP “yes” anyway and basically said we’d figure it out.
We honestly tried. My boyfriend kept hoping something would work out, but about 2 weeks before the wedding, he finally told his best friend that it just wasn’t going to happen. We simply couldn’t come up with that kind of money.
Another piece of context is that this was actually their fourth attempt at getting married. The previous three weddings were canceled. Most recently, they canceled their September 2025 wedding about 2 weeks before it was supposed to happen because they couldn’t afford it**.** We’d already spent money on clothes and other things for that wedding, so admittedly we were hesitant to book everything immediately this time because there was already a history of last-minute cancellations.
Here’s where I’m confused.
This isn’t even really my friend, she’s my boyfriend’s best friend’s wife. After the wedding, I noticed she unfollowed me and blocked me on social media. I even texted her congratulating her on getting married and how beautiful she looked and she never responded.
I completely understand that it probably sucked to pay for our dinner plates if we didn’t show up. But from what I understand, that’s really the only expense they had for us, and I can’t imagine that was much more than around $200 total. If that was something they were upset about, I honestly wish they had just communicated that with us. We would have been more than willing to reimburse them or work something out. Instead…nothing. Just blocked.
We were also planning on sending them a nice wedding gift once our finances recovered, since obviously the reason we couldn’t attend was because money was tight.
I’m not trying to make their wedding about me. I know canceling two weeks beforehand wasn’t ideal, and I understand why they may have been disappointed or frustrated. But I also don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to go into debt for someone else’s destination wedding.
At this point, I don’t know how to move forward. Do we apologize again, even though my boyfriend already apologized when he told his best friend we couldn’t make it? Do we just send a gift and leave it alone? Or do we accept that they’ve decided to end the friendship over this?
I posted this earlier without all this context and got a lot of people saying i’m in the wrong & i genuinely want to knooow!
My boyfriend and I are both not going to our best friends weddings. My boyfriends best friends wedding is in Miami this weekend & my best friends wedding is in Italy in August.
We just couldnt make then work. We live in New York & have a 3 year old daughter and we’re just drowning in bills. Daycare & Rent being the two biggest but then car insurance, car notes etc. We just couldn’t make sense of spending $2000,$3000 on flights, hotels, spending money, a babysitter, etc for their weddings. Of course we’re feeling very guilty and bad and i don’t know how to shake this feeling.
I keep telling myself and my boyfriend that this is their day and with or without us that won’t change. its just tough cause we feel terrible