u/Golden_Gizmos

Title says it all. I literally don’t know what to do.
I do the normal adult things - I have a good job and a beautiful apartment and a couple fur babies that I love! My life is beautiful. But for some reason I can’t get myself to do anything right now… not exercise even though that was once something that brought me great joy.. I bought some roller skates hoping to pick up a new hobby.. I tried to paint.. I tried to meditate.. I tried to get into reading.. I have a bicycle.. I took some dance classes weekly for awhile… instead of doing any of these things? Whenever I get home from work I sit my ass on the couch and watch TV. Instead of doing chores, instead of learning, instead of trying to get into new hobbies… It disgusts me but apparently I’m not angry enough at the state I’m living in to do anything about it?

I know this probably sounds stupid. I just don’t know how to get myself to want to try anymore..
I wasted my 20s playing house with men it ultimately didn’t workout with and I’ve been single for awhile now - I’m wondering if I just genuinely don’t know myself or what I want? I guess I just don’t know how to be a healthy, productive, or interesting person anymore.

Outside of working and caring for my animals, I just don’t know how to care….

TLDR: I have what I need in my life and I should be happy/trying but instead I’m wasting my life.

Any input helps - thanks for reading 🙏

I don’t know how to get over the fact that I’ve lost the best person I’ve ever met… hindsight is 20/20. I could have done better in so many ways.

I know I’ll never see them again. Never hear from them again.. never hear that perfect, infectious laugh ever again.

The only thing I can do is love them. Since I can’t forget them and I can’t be with them - I can only love them. To transmute it and love the world so much in their place.. to hope even a fraction of that love comes back to me someday.

They deserve the world and I’m wishing them every happiness! You’d think that only dating 6 months would mean that 4 months after the breakup I’d be over it already…if only.

I fucked up.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed so the love won’t die, it’ll just go someplace else ✨

I don’t know how to get over the fact that I’ve lost the best person I’ve ever met… hindsight is 20/20. I could have done better in so many ways.

I know I’ll never see them again. Never hear from them again.. never hear that perfect, infectious laugh ever again.

The only thing I can do is love them. Since I can’t forget them and I can’t be with them - I can only love them. To transmute it and love the world so much in their place.. to hope even a fraction of that love comes back to me someday.

They deserve the world and I’m wishing them every happiness! You’d think that only dating 6 months would mean that 4 months after the breakup I’d be over it already…if only.

I fucked up.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed so the love won’t die, it’ll just go someplace else ✨