u/GorgeousGal314

People who disliked the movie after having watched it - your opinion is valid too - but if you haven't even seen the movie then sorry your opinion is invalid.

For me personally, I loved the cyclops scene the most, but I think it's because I love horror movies so much in general.

That, and the shot of the burning trojan horse statue. Apparently in chinese astrology we're in the year of the "fire horse", so it just felt cool on so many levels.

I was assaulted at work by the father of the family I nannied for. I really loved this family, so it made it extra traumatic for me (especially since I'm estranged from my own biological family) so they became like a second family in a sense. The dad always gave me narcissist vibes so I was always repulsed by him, but I was polite and professional with him always. By the end I was wearing baggier and baggier clothes (this all happened over 3 years working for them) because it's like he thought me wearing shorts or anything like that was me trying to seduce him (I'm sure y'all know what I'm talking about) even though I thought he was disgusting. But anyway he still did it because as I'm sure you all know that it's really just about power and wanting to punish.

It was extremely traumatic - the most in my life. I never felt so powerless.

Since then (the assault happened Feb of this year) it seems I'm like magnetized to really terrible men, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm doing things I'd never normally do. Either drawn me to them, or them to me. If a guy is giving vibes he doesn't respect me as a person it seems we're drawn to each other. If I try to stand up for myself and express boundaries they seem to ignore that. And part of me is turned on by these men but part of me is like "stop!! you're hurting yourself" This all happened since the assault - I'm not normally like this. The real me would be repulsed by a guy being misogynistic or whatever. It's like the trauma just messed with me. And it's like some guys can sniff out that I'm easy prey or something, whereas before I was attracting respecting men.

Please help. I'm going down a spiral of self sabotage. And I feel a lot of shame because since the assault I'm masturbating to fantasies of being graped (this is not normal for me). It makes me feel extra ashamed because of how dehumanized I felt in February, so now I'm this pervert now ?? What do I do?