u/Greedy-Pay6850

I’ve been on a long journey with my husband. We’ve known each other since high school—we were best friends first and didn’t officially get together until we were 19. By that time, we had both already been through a lot individually.
He struggled with addiction and went through treatment for drugs, and I had a child. He has raised my oldest son as his own. Since then, we’ve had two more boys together.
We’ve both hurt each other in the past. In 2019, we separated and both of us were involved in relationships outside of our marriage. Before that separation, I also caught him texting other people on multiple occasions, though he always insisted it never went beyond texting.
We got back together in 2021, and things honestly felt better than they ever had. We’ve been in counseling, we don’t fight like we used to, and I truly believed we were in a healthier place.
Recently, though, things have changed again. I found that he has been looking at porn frequently, and it escalates into him visiting escort-related websites. I also saw messages that made it seem like he was communicating with someone from one of those sites. He told me it was an “escort,” but that nothing physical ever happened and he never paid. I’m not fully sure how those sites work, but I don’t feel confident in what he’s telling me.
I also strongly suspect he may have met up with someone in recent months, though I don’t have proof.
Yesterday, I caught him again looking at porn. Before I could go through his phone, he deleted a lot of things and told me he didn’t want me to see his browsing history. This is something he has done before.
Now he’s saying it’s a porn addiction and that he needs support and understanding while he works through it. I want to be supportive, but I also feel hurt, confused, and like trust is breaking again.
I’ve put so much time, energy, and effort into rebuilding this relationship, and right now I feel completely broken.
I guess I’m just looking for outside perspective—am I overreacting? How do you even navigate something like this in counseling when trust keeps getting broken?

I’ve been on a long journey with my husband. We’ve known each other since high school—we were best friends first and didn’t officially get together until we were 19. By that time, we had both already been through a lot individually.
He struggled with addiction and went through treatment for drugs, and I had a child. He has raised my oldest son as his own. Since then, we’ve had two more boys together.
We’ve both hurt each other in the past. In 2019, we separated and both of us were involved in relationships outside of our marriage. Before that separation, I also caught him texting other people on multiple occasions, though he always insisted it never went beyond texting.
We got back together in 2021, and things honestly felt better than they ever had. We’ve been in counseling, we don’t fight like we used to, and I truly believed we were in a healthier place.
Recently, though, things have changed again. I found that he has been looking at porn frequently, and it escalates into him visiting escort-related websites. I also saw messages that made it seem like he was communicating with someone from one of those sites. He told me it was an “escort,” but that nothing physical ever happened and he never paid. I’m not fully sure how those sites work, but I don’t feel confident in what he’s telling me.
I also strongly suspect he may have met up with someone in recent months, though I don’t have proof.
Yesterday, I caught him again looking at porn. Before I could go through his phone, he deleted a lot of things and told me he didn’t want me to see his browsing history. This is something he has done before.
Now he’s saying it’s a porn addiction and that he needs support and understanding while he works through it. I want to be supportive, but I also feel hurt, confused, and like trust is breaking again.
I’ve put so much time, energy, and effort into rebuilding this relationship, and right now I feel completely broken.
I guess I’m just looking for outside perspective—am I overreacting? How do you even navigate something like this in counseling when trust keeps getting broken?