u/GreenTeaBananas

Hello Redditors. Quick background info: I’m “educated” (with the boatload of student debt to go with it), married 10+ years (marriage that has its ups and downs), two youngish children, 41F
But I’m extremely depressed, and have been for a long time, due to the following reasons:

I’m extremely stressed financially. Despite having a good “career,” and making what was once considered decent money. Life has just gotten so expensive, and I currently have more money going out than I have going in, plus a substantial amount of credit card debt. I keep taking money out of my savings, but seeing the one substantial savings account that I have dwindle, is very discouraging.

I hate the job that I’m in. I’ve hated it for the 9 years since I started. I initially took it after I had my oldest child so that I could have a more flexible schedule, but I’ve always hated the work itself. The job is partial WFH, which is practically unheard of in my line of work. I also have good health insurance (self only…too expensive to add family, so we pay out of pocket). Many ppl would be over the moon to have what I have. But I’ve just been so miserable in the job itself for so long, that I can no longer tolerate it. I have a professional license that enables me to go into private practice, but due to a combination of lack of money to start up, and lack of confidence in myself (perpetual impostor syndrome), I haven’t forced myself to do it. I don’t know exactly what I’m afraid of. I know part of it is that I am entirely burnt out on the profession as a whole.

I’ve wanted to move from my hometown for many years. Husband is aware of this. It has gotten to the point that it genuinely pains my soul to still be in the same city I grew up in. It’s October and nearly 100 degrees here. I hate that I’m sweating as I walk my kids home from school, and wish so badly I could raise them someplace with actual seasons, and decent weather. Relocating seems like nothing more than a fanciful pipe dream at this point. My husband’s business is here, and it’s not something he could take with him elsewhere. My professional licensure is also more applicable to our home state. I feel like I accrued enormous student debt, only to feel completely stuck and option-less.

Our house is a cluttered mess that never seems to improve. I spend hours every weekend putting away laundry, and just trying to not let more clutter accumulate. We even hired a professional de-clutterer, which helped a bit, but not much. I hate looking around my home and just seeing the never-ending enormity of the literal STUFFwe are covered in. I’m even embarrassed to invite guests over. Hiring a cleaner is absolutely NOT in the budget right now.

These things on top of the regular stress of mothering, of course…wanting to be a good mom and always show my children that they are loved. Bottom line: I am absolutely exhausted. My parents live in town, but they are usually more of a headache to me than a help, unfortunately, and both are completely out of touch.

TLDR; 41/F feeling really hopeless and discouraged about ALL aspects of life. I don’t know how I’m ever going to crawl out of this pit. Everything I’ve tried that’s supposed to help improve things, has just felt like a dead end. I’m on an antidepressant, and I try to walk and exercise daily. I go to therapy. I’m just so sad, and the biggest reason for that is feeling like I have absolutely no control to attain anything I want in life anymore. I’d love a change, a BIG one, but…that seems impossible. Has anyone else ever felt this low, done something about it, and ended up digging themselves out of their hole to change their life and achieve the things they want?

Hello Redditors. Quick background info: I’m educated (with the boatload of student debt to go with it), married 10+ years (marriage that has its ups and downs), two youngish children, 41F
But I’m extremely depressed, for the multiple following reasons:

I’m extremely stressed financially. Despite having a good “career,” and making what was once considered decent money. Life has just gotten so expensive, and I currently have more money going out than I have going in. I keep taking money out of my savings, but seeing the one substantial savings account that I have dwindle, is very discouraging.

I hate the job that I’m in. I’ve hated it for the 9 years since I started. The job is partial WFH, with a somewhat flexible schedule. Which is practically unheard of in my line of work. I also have good health insurance. Many ppl would be over the moon to have what I have. But I’ve just been so miserable in the job itself for so long, that I can no longer tolerate it. I have a professional license that enables me to go into private practice, but due to a combination of lack of money to start up, and lack of confidence in myself (perpetual impostor syndrome), I haven’t forced myself to do it. I don’t know exactly what I’m afraid of. I know part of it is that I am entirely burnt out on the profession as a whole.

I’ve wanted to move from my hometown for many years. Husband is aware of this. It has gotten to the point that it genuinely pains my soul to still be in the same city I grew up in. It’s October and nearly 100 degrees here. I hate that I’m sweating as I walk my kids home from school, and wish so badly I could raise them someplace with actual seasons, and decent weather. Relocating seems like nothing more than a fanciful pipe dream at this point. My husband’s business is here, and it’s not something he could take with him elsewhere. My professional licensure is also more applicable to our home state. I feel like I accrued enormous student debt, only to feel completely stuck and option-less.

Our house is a cluttered mess that never seems to improve. I spend hours every weekend putting away laundry, and just trying to not let more clutter accumulate. We even hired a professional de-clutterer, which helped a bit, but not much. I hate looking around my home and just seeing the never-ending enormity of the literal STUFFwe are covered in. I’m even embarrassed to invite guests over.

I don’t really like mothering as much as I feel like I should. I’m not that interested in Taylor Swift or school events or video games. I sometimes feel guilty like I’m not showing the correct amount of interest in my children. But I really do try.

TLDR; 41/F feeling really hopeless and discouraged about ALL aspects of life. Everything I’ve tried that’s supposed to help improve it, has just felt like a dead end. I’m on an antidepressant, and I try to walk and exercise daily. I go to therapy. I’m just so sad, and the biggest reason for that is feeling like I have absolutely no control to attain anything I want in life anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this low, done something about it, and ended up digging themselves out of their hole to change their life and achieve the things they want?

Hello Redditors. Quick background info: I’m educated (with the boatload of student debt to go with it), married 10+ years (marriage that has its ups and downs), two youngish children, 41F
But I’m extremely depressed, for the multiple following reasons:

I’m extremely stressed financially. Despite having a good “career,” and making what was once considered decent money. Life has just gotten so expensive, and I currently have more money going out than I have going in. I keep taking money out of my savings, but seeing the one substantial savings account that I have dwindle, is very discouraging.

I hate the job that I’m in. I’ve hated it for the 9 years since I started. The job is partial WFH, with a somewhat flexible schedule. Which is practically unheard of in my line of work. I also have good health insurance. Many ppl would be over the moon to have what I have. But I’ve just been so miserable in the job itself for so long, that I can no longer tolerate it. I have a professional license that enables me to go into private practice, but due to a combination of lack of money to start up, and lack of confidence in myself (perpetual impostor syndrome), I haven’t forced myself to do it. I don’t know exactly what I’m afraid of. I know part of it is that I am entirely burnt out on the profession as a whole.

I’ve wanted to move from my hometown for many years. Husband is aware of this. It has gotten to the point that it genuinely pains my soul to still be in the same city I grew up in. It’s October and nearly 100 degrees here. I hate that I’m sweating as I walk my kids home from school, and wish so badly I could raise them someplace with actual seasons, and decent weather. Relocating seems like nothing more than a fanciful pipe dream at this point. My husband’s business is here, and it’s not something he could take with him elsewhere. My professional licensure is also more applicable to our home state. I feel like I accrued enormous student debt, only to feel completely stuck and option-less.

Our house is a cluttered mess that never seems to improve. I spent hours every weekend putting away laundry, and just trying to not let more clutter accumulate. We even hired a professional de-clutterer, which helped a bit, but not much. I hate looking around my home and just seeing the never-ending enormity of the literal *STUFF* we are covered in. I’m even embarrassed to invite guests over.

I don’t really like mothering as much as I feel like I should. I’m not that interested in Taylor Swift or school events or video games. I sometimes feel guilty like I’m not showing the correct amount of interest in my children. But I really do try.

TLDR; 41/F feeling really hopeless and discouraged about ALL aspects of life. Everything I’ve tried that’s supposed to help improve it, has just felt like a dead end. I’m on an antidepressant, and I try to walk and exercise daily. I go to therapy. I’m just so sad, and the biggest reason for that is feeling like I have absolutely no control to attain anything I want in life anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this low, done something about it, and ended up digging themselves out of their hole to change their life and achieve the things they want?

In early S6. They are almost painful to watch. I also miss the hospital setting, the familiarity of watching the same place becomes comforting six seasons in, lol. Anyone else feel this way about the first part of Season 6? It’s like all of the behavioral health center episodes kind of break my heart…

Specifically, House’s mental decline/hallucinations. I’m doing a rewatch, but it’s difficult to tell what was real, and what was strictly a hallucination. Feel free to add any thoughts/opinions/feelings on the whole Cameron and Chase conflict…

ETA, I know that Cameron and Chase were not part of the hallucination. I just meant that I’d love to hear opinions/feelings regarding that aspect of the season/story.

Hearing Jollotta’s testimony makes me suspect Patrick had a stigma towards mental health. His response “my wife is not bipolar.” He was clearly offended by Jollotta’s suggestion that Lindsay likely met the diagnostic criteria for bipolar II. That was the response of someone who views bipolar as a severe mood disorder, and something to be ashamed of. Like people with bipolar must be “nuts,” causing scenes, overt in their behaviors, etc. They couldn’t possibly be run of the mill east coast nurses with an affinity for cheesy wine tumblers. It’s unfortunate that many people actually view bipolar this way, and it’s a reason many people living with the condition, don’t get the treatment that they need. It’s really sad, in multiple ways.

ETA, I want to make it clear that I am not saying this makes anything Patrick’s fault. He didn’t murder those three children, he didn’t try to take Lindsay’s life, leaving her paralyzed. My post is just intended to highlight what I feel may have been a key factor in this complicated and tragic case, as well as the disheartening fact that bipolar and other mental health conditions, are still viewed so unfavorably, and as a true stain of a condition for one to have on their medical record.

I take Wellbutrin. I take Suboxone. The subs help a tiny bit, but I end up taking more of them than I need to keep withdrawals away, just to stave off cravings for a half hour-hour or so. It bums me out so bad. I miss the feeling of kratom, and it’s just heartbreaking knowing that I need to quit. This is my second quit attempt. Currently one week in. Last one lasted three and a half weeks before I relapsed. Any advice or anecdotes welcome.

So for the last couple weeks, I’ve been taking kratom and my Adderall prescription (10 mg). Not taken together at the exact same time, I space them out a bit. Anyway…wow. What a great feeling. I know this isn’t the safest combo, and I know it’s also not sustainable long-term. But it was really nice to feel the kratom actually working again (I’d been taking it for over two years, and it had really all but stopped doing the job). I haven’t been this happy and productive in a LONG time. Anyone else have any experience with this? Am I a complete idiot to do this? I figure the Adderall dose isn’t super high, and I’m planning to stop as soon as I run out of kratom this week. But by all means, tell me if I’m completely stupid. Thanks!