u/Greenyhulken

Maybe I’m just not a fashionista. Is it just her aesthetic that I’m not connecting with, or does anyone else feel the same? Curious to know if I’m the odd one out here.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, so any suggestions or criticism are welcome.

My MIL is actually a sweet person. We don’t live together and we only visit on weekends. The issue is her cleanliness and housekeeping habits, which honestly drive me crazy.

She never throws anything away. For example, yogurt cups, plastic containers, old jars everything gets kept “just in case.” The kitchen is extremely cluttered. There are utensils and vessels that must be decades old and nothing ever seems to get replaced or upgraded. The kitchen often has a smell, garbage is sometimes left for several days before being taken out and the stove and countertops aren’t cleaned at all.

I am the complete opposite. I like things clean, organized, and clutter-free. I grew up in a home where cleanliness was a priority, and honestly, I’ve never seen any of my relatives’ homes kept this way. Every time I visit, I feel stressed and uncomfortable.

Another thing that really bothers me is that she hates wasting food to the point where it feels unhealthy. She’ll keep leftovers for far too long and sometimes even asks me to eat food that is expired because she doesn’t want it to go to waste. I understand not wanting to waste food, but there has to be a limit. If something is spoiled or expired, I don’t think it’s worth risking your health over it. This is one of the biggest differences between us and something I struggle to understand.

My husband is a wonderful person, and after we got married, he actually started appreciating a cleaner and more organized home. Now even he struggles to tolerate some of the things he grew up with and notices the clutter and lack of cleanliness whenever we visit.
Am I being judgmental, or is it reasonable to feel bothered by this? How do you deal with family members whose standards of cleanliness are very different from your own?

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, so any suggestions or criticism are welcome.

My MIL is actually a sweet person. We don’t live together and we only visit on weekends. The issue is her cleanliness and housekeeping habits, which honestly drive me crazy.

She never throws anything away. For example, yogurt cups, plastic containers, old jars everything gets kept “just in case.” The kitchen is extremely cluttered. There are utensils and vessels that must be decades old and nothing ever seems to get replaced or upgraded. The kitchen often has a smell, garbage is sometimes left for several days before being taken out and the stove and countertops aren’t cleaned at all.

I am the complete opposite. I like things clean, organized, and clutter-free. I grew up in a home where cleanliness was a priority, and honestly, I’ve never seen any of my relatives’ homes kept this way. Every time I visit, I feel stressed and uncomfortable.

I know it’s her house, and I don’t live there, so technically it’s none of my business. But it’s difficult when you’re spending time there and have completely different standards of cleanliness.

My husband is a wonderful person, and after we got married, he actually started appreciating a cleaner and more organized home. Now even he struggles to tolerate some of the things he grew up with and notices the clutter and lack of cleanliness whenever we visit.
Am I being judgmental, or is it reasonable to feel bothered by this? How do you deal with family members whose standards of cleanliness are very different from your own?

I know a guy in his 30s. Good-looking, well-spoken, charming, and someone who gets along with almost everyone. On the surface, he seems like the ideal match.

Now that he’s looking to get married, his expectations are very high. He wants a girl from a “good family,” exceptionally beautiful, wealthy, and with a spotless background.

But here’s what many people don’t see.

He has had 8–10 casual relationships, a body count well over 20, and is still emotionally involved in a situationship with an ex who is now married.

Yet when it comes to choosing a wife, he expects someone who meets standards that he himself never lived by.

This isn’t about judging someone’s past. Everyone has one.It’s about paying attention to double standards and understanding that the charming, polished version of someone may not tell the whole story.

Girls, please do your homework before committing to someone. Ask questions. Observe patterns. Verify what you’re told. Character is revealed through actions, not appearances.

And this isn’t just one person. There are many people out there presenting one image while living a completely different reality.

Stay aware.