u/Gullible-Rub-9344

I am a few weeks out from a separation involving physical violence and criminal charges. We have frozen embryos from our one and only IVF cycle. While I once wanted a family, I am currently feeling a profound sense of "fine" with the idea of not proceeding and permanently freeing myself from this person. However, it's only been a few weeks and I'm not sure if I will change my mind. My egg retrieval recovery was an awful experience involving an infection. I'm not interested in ever doing another retrieval. Also, my embryo transfer was scheduled for May so my body was being prepped for this transfer prior to “the incident.” I told the clinic that I'm taking a break and they recommended an extension of lupron depot for an additional month until I make up my mind. 

Has anyone here faced this? I’m struggling to find stories that bridge the IVF world and the DV world.

If you chose NOT to transfer, do you still feel "fine" a year or more later? If you DID transfer, how did you manage the permanent biological link to your abuser?

I am a few weeks out from a separation involving physical violence and criminal charges. We have frozen embryos from our one and only IVF cycle. While I once wanted a family, I am currently feeling a profound sense of "fine" with the idea of not proceeding and permanently freeing myself from this person. However, it's only been a few weeks and I'm not sure if I will change my mind. My egg retrieval recovery was an awful experience involving an infection. I'm not interested in ever doing another retrieval. Also, my embryo transfer was scheduled for May so my body was being prepped for this transfer prior to “the incident.” I told the clinic that I'm taking a break and they recommended an extension of lupron depot for an additional month until I make up my mind.

Has anyone here faced this? I’m struggling to find stories that bridge the IVF world and the DV world.

If you chose NOT to transfer, do you still feel "fine" a year or more later? If you DID transfer, how did you manage the permanent biological link to your abuser?

UPDATE: I appreciate the perspectives shared here. To address the common themes in the comments:

1. Lawyers are on it. All logistical and legal ramifications are being handled by professionals.

2. I’ve decided to step back from the transfer journey for now. My focus is entirely on healing and processing the trauma of the last few weeks.

3. The Embryos: They will remain in storage. While I don’t know what my life looks like 12 or 24 months from now, these embryos represent a significant part of my own physical investment and emotional journey. I’m not ready to close that door permanently, but I am also not willing to walk through it while tied to an unsafe person.

4. Kindness matters. This isn't just a legal case study; it's my life and my heart. Thank you for respecting the emotional weight of this crossroads.

: I am a few weeks out from a separation involving physical violence and criminal charges. We have frozen embryos from our one and only IVF cycle. While I once wanted a family, I am currently feeling a profound sense of "fine" with the idea of not proceeding and permanently freeing myself from this person. However, it's only been a few weeks and I'm not sure if I will change my mind. My egg retrieval recovery was an awful experience involving an infection. I'm not interested in ever doing another retrieval. Also, my embryo transfer was scheduled for May so my body was being prepped for this transfer prior to “the incident.” I told the clinic that I'm taking a pause and they recommended an extension of lupron depot for an additional month until I make up my mind. 

Has anyone here faced this? I’m struggling to find stories that bridge the IVF world and the DV world.

If you chose NOT to transfer, do you still feel "fine" a year or more later? If you DID transfer, how did you manage the permanent biological link to your abuser?