u/GummiFruitti

For context I(25F) have always felt like I never belonged with my extended family. I’m only close to my parents and grandparents. Everyone else sees me as a black sheep. I know I was seen as the loner out of my cousins. Maybe, I should have tried to reach out more. But that still was not enough. I know I was seen as different. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and I remember seeing something on how neurodivergent people tend to be outcasted from their family. Maybe that’s a reason? Nonetheless, I can remember crying myself to sleep or driving home because I would remember the annoyed/displeased looks on their faces when I came over for family events. I hated it because it always reminded me that I never truly fit in. Every time I tried to hang out with my cousins during these events, I was just sidelined. I even remember my cousins glaring at me during a superbowl event and I overheard how they were waiting for me to leave so they could actually do the things they wanted to do. This was about 4 years ago. But it still sticks with me and has made me realize that I am just a black sheep. A wedge in the “perfect family”
I’ve gone no contact with one of my cousins earlier this year due to her constantly taking her insecurities out on me. It was a family event that I was at and she kept on making remarks and would glare at me every chance she got. Lo and behold, it was because she was fucking jealous because I got in another relationship while she has yet to be in one. I know it sounds incredibly high school. But this is what happens when you have to deal with a grown woman who “peaked in high school”. Going no contact has solidified me wanting to go low contact with my extended family; which is a plan I’ve had since I was about 13. When my grandparents are gone, it will be borderline no contact. My mom has been trying to say that I’m wrong and that I just need to stick it out because “family is family”. But I tried to explain what is the point if the branch is practically hanging by a thread? It would not matter to them if I was gone. This caused an argument and now I’m frustrated and I’m not sure what to do. Do I stick to my guns or just suck it up? Am I the asshole?

Sorry if things seem all over the place. Mind is just a bit scattered haha

For context I (25f) have always felt a disconnection with my extended family. I always was close to my grandparents even though the relationship had its strains at times. But my aunts, uncles, cousins… that’s a bit different. I’ll admit that I was different from the others. I was always seen as the loner who kept to herself while my other cousins were doing everything together. Not to mention, I was a spoiled kid. But I’d like to say I mellowed out over the years. Granted, I could have done better to form more of a connection. But I could always tell that I was treated differently from the others.
I have ADHD and was diagnosed at 8 years old. I’ve heard family members who are more neurodivergent tend to be more alienated. My extended family is all about being the picture perfect family. I don’t think I was ever seen as one who fit the bill. I’m always kept in the dark with things and every time I come to family events, it feels like they look at me like they hate the fact that I showed up. I’ve told my parents this multiple times since I was a teenager. But they act have always acted like I was overreacting or that I wasn’t doing enough to reach out to family. I’ve had thoughts of wanting to cut contact with my extended family since I was about 13 due to this treatment. But, it was always on and off since there were moments it felt like maybe I was welcome. Only to be alienated and treated like the ghost in the family again.
I’ve cut contact with my older cousin earlier this year. She kept on acting petty and would make comments about me out loud “behind my back.” It made me uncomfortable and leave a family trip early. My grandmother caught wind of this and told me that she thinks it’s because my cousin was jealous over me being able to be in another relationship when she still has yet to have a romantic relationship. My older cousin has always taken her insecurities out on me and treated me like her punching bag. So, I snapped and cut contact, I don’t think my older cousin has even noticed I blocked her number since she never reaches out. I know it sounds very high school petty. But it was just a straw that broke the camel’s back after being treated like shit by her for so long. Plus, that’s what happens when you have a cousin who “peaked in high school”
Cutting off contact with my cousin has now officially solidified my reasoning to go low contact with my extended family. When my grandparents are gone, it will be borderline almost no contact. I’m just done. My parents think I’m being an asshole for this, saying that family is family. But it’s not like it would matter to that family if I was gone or not. My mom was trying to convince me again to talk with my cousin and to maybe reconsider me straying away from my extended family. When I told her that I was still sticking to my guns, she looked disappointed. Now I’m kind of questioning things a bit. I know I don’t belong in that family. But is it really worth it to go low/no contact? AITAH?

For context I(25F) have always felt like I never belonged with my extended family. I’m only close to my parents and grandparents. Everyone else sees me as a black sheep. I know I was seen as the loner out of my cousins. Maybe, I should have tried to reach out more. But that still was not enough. I know I was seen as different. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and I remember seeing something on how neurodivergent people tend to be outcasted from their family. Maybe that’s a reason? Nonetheless, I can remember crying myself to sleep or driving home because I would remember the annoyed/displeased looks on their faces when I came over for family events. I hated it because it always reminded me that I never truly fit in. Every time I tried to hang out with my cousins during these events, I was just sidelined. I even remember my cousins glaring at me during a superbowl event and I overheard how they were waiting for me to leave so they could actually do the things they wanted to do. This was about 4 years ago. But it still sticks with me and has made me realize that I am just a black sheep. A wedge in the “perfect family”
I’ve gone no contact with one of my cousins earlier this year due to her constantly taking her insecurities out on me. It was a family event that I was at and she kept on making remarks and would glare at me every chance she got. Lo and behold, it was because she was fucking jealous because I got in another relationship while she has yet to be in one. I know it sounds incredibly high school. But this is what happens when you have to deal with a grown woman who “peaked in high school”. Going no contact has solidified me wanting to go low contact with my extended family; which is a plan I’ve had since I was about 13. When my grandparents are gone, it will be borderline no contact. My mom has been trying to say that I’m wrong and that I just need to stick it out because “family is family”. But I tried to explain what is the point if the branch is practically hanging by a thread? It would not matter to them if I was gone. This caused an argument and now I’m frustrated and I’m not sure what to do. Do I stick to my guns or just suck it up? Am I the asshole?

Sorry if things seem all over the place. Mind is just a bit scattered haha