u/Hairy-Incident2105

We met on a plane two years ago, he was sitting next to me- I’m typically shy, but he started a convo with me and we got along well. He then asked for my #, and we’ve been texting since.

We get along very well over text but I’ve been to insecure/afraid to call him or FaceTime himz I’ve sent some voice notes and like two pics of my face.

I was wearing a cap on the plane, with my hair pulled back, and he was mostly seeing me from a side angle. I have a lot of appearance related insecurities and I’m hoping that 0.5mL of filler in my upper lip which I’m getting in 2 days, a lash lift and a tan will help me.

He’s also a super handsome guy- 6’1”, athletic, pretty face and masculine with a beard, and very expressive and articulate and knows what he thinks about things.

i am also insecure of how I’ll dress and my small chest i am technically a 28C size but they look very small. especially since I have broader shoulders. He booked a hotel for our first date to end the night after- we Have sxted online a lot and the expectation does seem like something will happen at the hotel BUT if I can’t stop being insecure of my appearance or how I’m acting I can’t imagine doing well with that!

im also very worried that I will ruin the whole thing or make it boring or awkward and it will be such a let down if I can’t express myself like I do over text BECAUSE I feel low social energy and very drained these past few years plus I naturally struggle with expressing vulnerability and excitement due to a childhood we’re I was taught that such reactions were stupid Or embarrassing looking & also I was very self critical of saying the perfect thing or not being cringe or acting interesting enough etc.

my fear causes me too be too in my head and not be able to naturally express my excitement or my feelings Easily.

I have also been feeling extremely emotionally drained for years since I was fifteen after a very traumatic incident and many that have followed, and it’s harder for me to act high energy sometimes Especially if I’m being weighed down by fear and insecurity.

i know this is a lot, and I don’t expect anyone even myself to know the easy fix for it, but I would really appreciate any help or advice,

Thank you 🙏

So basically a lady just asked me questions about my port wine stain which was inflated.

The doctor wanted me to do an mri scan but had to pre approve me for the mri scan🙄.

this ‘pre approval’ was literally just a 6 min video call where a woman asked me basic questions like if it had grown over the years, if it was painful to touch, where it was, if I had it from birth, and then she answered my question about what they might do- which was like a 1 minute to 30 second answer.

This lasted around 6 minutes from beginning to end. It only took longer because our internet connection kept cutting out.

I am expected to pay $279 for that?!

I have not paid it and it’s been over a month because I feel resentful and pissed off. I have a near perfect credit score 800+ and pay my bills on time, but this feels so wrong and unfair that I haven’t. to have my money taken like that- 15 hours of hard work(I work as a PCT on a medsurg unit), for a woman asking me easy basic questions from a computer in her room for 6 minutes is disrespectful and robbery! She already likely makes 3X as much as me in a year which makes me so angry, they don’t deserve my money.

Does anyway know any way to get this bill lowered?

Ok so one reason I am so scared… and also partially why it took two years for us to meet was because of insecurities around my appearance and being fun/interesting enough for him. Like I have been very insecure about talking to him on the phone and showing pics of myself although I have.

we met on a plane and the connection went from there. I really liked him but unfortunately as I said… the insecurities.

I’ve taken some more ‘extreme‘ efforts to improve my appearance which gave me enough confidence to say yes to meeting next month, but right now the results will take atleast 3 to 4 weeks more to show.

i also am worried about being underdeveloped in my chest area as I have B and I’m wondering if this whole check into a hotel thing is going to imply doing ‘it’. we have sxted online a lot in the past few weeks before but I am SURE I am going to be more nervous and insecure in person.

Super worried about my appearance still and if this moment will be when he realizes how ugly and weird I seem or at least that he wotn like me as much as over text.

he just asked me what I think and that he’s booking the hotel,

I feel extremely nervous but excited… I don’t know how I’m going to handle it,

he is very handsome and he’s way more confident and comfortable socially than me

Just wondering what you guys think I should do or have any words of wisdom.

Thank you so much🙏