Learnt how to make a chain today and I find it easy. I however have been struggling to make a single chain where I have to insert the needle in the gap of the chain. My yarn is thin so inserting my needle feels so hard. What do I do?
I m crying as I m writing this because this past week has been way too hard for me cause of my mother’s constant berating and insults. It gets to a point where your heart starts hurting.
I cry even harder when I realise why it’s so easy for to her to be cruel to me. Why it’s so easy for her to tell me she doesn’t love me, that I shouldn’t have been born, that I m the most useless person on earth, that I won’t have friends when I grow up, that I will end up a failure without her, that she wants to die because of the hurt I cause her. I try my best to act nonchalant but fuck it hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts that she does it purposefully, to MAKE sure it hurts me, she even admitted it once. But the more I act like it doesn’t bother me, she does it even more. Talking shit abt me infront of me, constant yelling. My nervous system is in shambles. I m constantly anxious and self conscious cause of her. I m so resentful and angry. I want to die.
Whenever I would cry after a fight with her her ego would never allow her to comfort me. Instead she’d be happy I cried, cause that’s proof that her words affected me and I deserved that for “disrespecting” her. The more I see it the more I realise this woman is fucking psycho. No sane person acts like that. I would never do that to someone I love, let alone my child. I never want to treat anyone this way. Fuck this.
I m crying as I m writing this because this past week has been way too hard for me cause of my mother’s constant berating and insults. It gets to a point where your heart starts hurting.
I cry even harder when I realise why it’s so easy for to her to be cruel to me. Why it’s so easy for her to tell me she doesn’t love me, that I shouldn’t have been born, that I m the most useless person on earth, that I won’t have friends when I grow up, that I will end up a failure without her, that she wants to die because of the hurt I cause her. I try my best to act nonchalant but fuck it hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts that she does it purposefully, to MAKE sure it hurts me, she even admitted it once. But the more I act like it doesn’t bother me, she does it even more. Talking shit abt me infront of me, constant yelling. My nervous system is in shambles. I m constantly anxious and self conscious cause of her. I m so resentful and angry. I want to die.
Whenever I would cry after a fight with her her ego would never allow her to comfort me. Instead she’d be happy I cried, cause that’s proof that her words affected me and I deserved that for “disrespecting” her. The more I see it the more I realise this woman is fucking psycho. No sane person acts like that. I would never do that to someone I love, let alone my child. I never want to treat anyone this way. Fuck this.
My T4 is 7.64 and T3 is 1.50. I saw online that these are normal level.
I m yet to start my medication for thyroid but I lowkey feel like maybe this is why I am not able to sleep well at all? I have had sleep issues for years where I would sleep for 12 hours and still wake up tired and fatigued. I also do have a Vit D deficiency as well so I will start that as well. Plus, I was having irregular periods starting this year. I suppose I will be getting a more deeper analysis for my thyroid in the future.
I m still skeptical if treating my thyroid will end my hives but I really hope it does.