u/Hearing-Select

I've been thinking and recently, I've found myself passively thinking about my looks almost everyday now ( makeup styles, fashion, possible cosmetic changes ) and it seems to be much of the only interesting things that I could think endlessly of ?

But is that obsession or am I just intrigued at what change is actually realistic and possible ?

Money aside, how much can a person ethically change without causing mental trouble ? Is it similar to how trans people experience "gender-dysphoria" ?

I'm at this point ; very sick and ill.

I wonder if the state of cancer I am in might limit how much can be done ? I wonder if that would mean high risks of "mental-fragility".

I've always had a plan to change everything once those opportunities became viable but I wonder if there are more ways to test if this is something I permanently want. . . .

This is just mostly a compromise to a previous plan that would've proven lethal had I completed it.

I wonder if one could destroy their own origin from inside and out ?

If you looked like someone of your own creation, could you then be you a little easier ? Would that process be less complicated if you were to severe all ties to a past that never belonged to you ?

Is non-emergency cosmetic change inherently unethical,

And always a net-negative ?

- Leo

I've been thinking and recently, I've found myself passively thinking about my looks almost everyday now ( makeup styles, fashion, possible cosmetic changes ) and it seems to be much of the only interesting things that I could think endlessly of ?

But is that obsession or am I just intrigued at what change is actually realistic and possible ?

Money aside, how much can a person ethically change without causing mental trouble ? Is it similar to how trans people experience "gender-dysphoria" ?

I'm at this point ; very sick and ill.

I wonder if the state of cancer I am in might limit how much can be done ? I wonder if that would mean high risks of "mental-fragility".

I've always had a plan to change everything once those opportunities became viable but I wonder if there are more ways to test if this is something I permanently want. . . .

This is just mostly a compromise to a previous plan that would've proven lethal had I completed it.

I wonder if one could destroy their own origin from inside and out ?

If you looked like someone of your own creation, could you then be you a little easier ? Would that process be less complicated if you were to severe all ties to a past that never belonged to you ?

Is non-emergency cosmetic change inherently unethical,

And always a net-negative ?

- Leo

I [F/20], have been very deeply in love with a man for years now but have yet to make an official contact yet.

He [M/??], is a very strict individual who is very stable and understands sacrifice and prioritization.

My best guesses he is a dog, which with me ; another dog, has a 70/100 compatability score and could make a very long-lasting albeit quite mundane and boring marriage, a very compatible pair that will always circle together in well sync harmony.

I've felt very sure and strong about my decisions on him but our circumstances make the relationship difficult to officiate.

And. . .now I'm unsure about my options.

This new one [M/??], is extreamly freewilled and ambitious but lacking a lot of mental or material stability.

My best guesses he is a goat, which with me ; a dog has just a 30/100 compatability score and often never works with arduous efforts and difficult viewpoints, a very incompatible pair that have clashing values and temperaments.

I've so suddenly felt an "interest"/"lure" to this seemingly unknown random person but our basal/instinctual temperments and needs make the relationship difficult to officiate.

And. . . . . . .now I'm still unsure of my options.

The decision seems so easy yet so difficult, what metrics does one use to decide such a trouble ?

To risk safety in exchange for excitement and large achievements ?

Or

To risk unhappiness in exchange for stability and reliable maturity ?

TLDR ;

I don't have much to give, and with so much illness. . . .

To live or to secure a future to live for ?

- Leo

I [F/20], have been very deeply in love with a man for years now but have yet to make an official contact yet.

He [M/??], is a very strict individual who is very stable and understands sacrifice and prioritization.

My best guesses he is a dog, which with me ; another dog, has a 70/100 compatability score and could make a very long-lasting albeit quite mundane and boring marriage, a very compatible pair that will always circle together in well sync harmony.

I've felt very sure and strong about my decisions on him but our circumstances make the relationship difficult to officiate. But out temperaments are almost perfect and natural yet it's much more taboo and easy to criticize.

And. . .now I'm unsure about my options.

This new one [M/??], is extreamly freewilled and ambitious but lacking a lot of mental or material stability.

My best guesses he is a goat, which with me ; a dog has just a 30/100 compatability score and often never works with arduous efforts and difficult viewpoints, a very incompatible pair that have clashing values and temperaments.

I've so suddenly felt an "interest"/"lure" to this seemingly unknown random person but our basal/instinctual temperments and needs make the relationship difficult to officiate. But the circumstances of our pairing is much more "cleaner" and "virtuous" yet our energies misaligne and won't keep up with eachother.

And. . . . . . .now I'm still unsure of my options.

The decision seems so easy yet so difficult, what metrics does one use to decide such a trouble ?

To risk safety in exchange for excitement and large achievements ?

Or

To risk unhappiness in exchange for stability and reliable maturity ?

TLDR ;

I don't have much to give, and with so much illness. . . .

To live or to secure a future to live for ?

• Leo