u/Heavenly_Magnolia

Most days I’m fine with being forever alone, and have gotten better with just accepting it. But when I hear people telling stories about how they met their partner, or how they dated a lot when they were younger in highschool and college, or how they lost their virginity - it triggers intense grief for me. I grieve that my life has just passed by without having any of those milestone experiences, I grieve how no one thought I was lovable enough to want to be with, I grieve that even now at my big age I will never experience what most people have when it comes to dating and relationships, I grieve that I’m just fundamentally broken. Even when I attempt to try to talk to men, I get nowhere because no one wants me. I wish that I could somehow just turn back time and be a completely different person, or maybe if my upbringing wasn’t full of trauma and struggles things would have gone differently. I deeply grieve a life that I could never have or experience.

Hey y’all, so I’ve been hearing a lot of conflicting information about the home buying process. Should I be meeting with lenders and getting mortgage pre-approvals first? Or should I be meeting with realtors and looking at houses first? Some people say that realtors don’t really take you seriously without the pre-approval first. Others say that it’s best to go to realtor first because they may know lenders who offer the best rates and additional options for grants and programs. Another question- is it necessary to take the first time homebuyers class if I don’t qualify for any of the city’s grants programs? I’ve heard some people say to do it regardless because the info is helpful and it doesn’t hurt to just have the certificate. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places, but a lot of these classes aren’t free. I don’t really want to spend time and money if the certificate isn’t going to benefit me.

Is it just me or does anyone else struggle to even imagine or daydream about a life where you aren’t forever alone? I try to picture a version of myself that’s pretty, skinny, charming, and loved by everyone. I try to think of a version of myself that has a boyfriend or a husband that absolutely adores me, and maybe even a child who thinks I’m the most awesome mother ever. But it’s like my mind can’t even go there. I can’t even daydream of myself as being a loved woman. Sometimes it really hurts me that even in my fantasies I can’t avoid the weight of being alone and unwanted. There seems to be no place to really escape to.

Hello all! Does anyone have any recent experience doing a solo carnival cruise? I know I will still have to pay for double occupancy room regardless, which is fine. I’m mostly concerned about how safe it is for a single woman. I’m not really the drinking / partying / staying out super late type of person. I mostly just want to watch the water, read and relax, enjoy nice food, join a few cruise activities like bingo and trivia, and a few sightseeing or historical tour themed excursions. I don’t want to appear as an “easy target” for people on the ship with ill intentions due to traveling solo. I’m considering 5 to 7 day long cruises, dates currently undecided. I’m choosing carnival because it’s cheaper and more readily available than other lines. In general, would I be safe taking this trip alone or is it bad call?

I don’t know if I’m too traditional or just being unreasonable, but I’m rather uncomfortable with the idea of dating multiple people at once. I don’t have much dating experience in general, but I’m seeing that it’s very common (and maybe even expected) for both men and women to date multiple people at once for long periods of time.

I believe that if someone is dating, they should pursue one connection first over a period of 2-3 dates and decide if they want to continue seeing the person. If it’s not a match, they should let that person know and then explore other connections afterwards. I can’t wrap my head around someone dating 2+ people for weeks while actively trying to find even more people to date. I don’t think it should take more than 3, maybe 5 dates maximum to decide if you want to potentially be exclusive with someone.

Most men are very transparent about the fact that they are dating multiple people, and I commend them for that honesty. But I just can’t bring myself to accept a date from someone that I know is seeing other people. I don’t want to be an option on a list of other women, and I don’t want to be seen as “the other woman” if one of the other ladies really likes him and sees a future with him. I know my value, and I just don’t see a need to compete with anyone else or accept being a part of anyone’s rotation of dates.

I would love to hear other opinions about this topic. This is a no-judgement zone. Even if your opinion is different from mine, I would still love to hear it and chat.

I’ve been coming across a lot of stories lately about women being taken advantage of while having surgeries under anesthesia. I’m having a dental surgery very soon under general anesthesia with a male provider and I can’t help but start to feel some anxiety. I’ll be bringing a family member with me, but I’m not sure if they will let her stay in the room for the whole surgery.

I really don’t like the thought of being in a vulnerable position where I don’t have awareness of what’s happening to me. I feel like most people might think I’m being “paranoid” and that nothing is likely to happen during a dental surgery. But I’ve learned that you can NEVER be too trusting. There are stories of women who had been assaulted during dental surgeries before when the nurse left the room and they were alone with the doctor.

I feel like I need to at least try to do something in advance to protect myself while sedated. Maybe I can wear a spandex bodysuit under my clothes - the “all into one” shape wear type of suits that are a bit hard to get into and to take off. Someone with bad intentions might decide it’s not worth the trouble to take the suit off me and put it back on. Or wear two pairs of underwear, and intentionally wear one pair inside out so that I would know immediately if my clothing had been tampered with. Or just try both methods honestly, can never be too safe.