u/HelpfulAd2909

i 16F, want to get a bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering/chemical engineering, and later a phd in environmental engineering (hopefully abroad and maybe with a master’s in environmental engineering as well, although i dont know if it’s possible). But my parents are against it, for reasons that r not clear to me (and i dont wanna ask them cuz itll piss them off). They may be against it as they might want me to earn as soon as possible. or because the age i want to get a phd also just so happens to be the age they want me to be married. Or because they arent the most financially stable rn and prolly wont be in the near future either (they can afford to send me to grad school tho). but i am adamant on getting a phd. if i do get a phd, ill be the first in my family to have one.

i have done my research (through youtube videos and gpt), although minimal, and learned that environmental engineering is truly my passion. but, i also want to be realistic because environmental engineers r not rlly in demand in india, which is why ive chosen to get a bachelor’s in mechanical/chemical first.

ik that if im financially dependent on my parents and they dont want me getting a phd, itll be roughly impossible for me to go against their wishes. (According to gemini, for my entire time abroad to get a phd, it’ll cost a total of approx 3L IFFF i get into the top engineering colleges in the states, unlikely tbh) so im hoping i can get a job (hopefully remote) and manage it with my college work as well during my time of getting a bachelors.

tldr: im 16F and want to know how to get a phd (in environmental engineering) even tho my parents are against it.

what i want to know is 3 things-

1. is this even realistic? even if do get a job, will it cover the expenses of my phd program (either abroad or in india)?
2. which of the 2 degrees should i get ? mech. or chemical? (For bachelor’s)
3. Is it possible to handle a job while also being in college? If so, what job is ideal for me?

p.s. this was posted in the twenties india sub as well

as someone who had lived in the states for 7 years, I can assure u it’s …ur opinion.

racism still exists there.

my entire second grade was spent loathing my teacher because of how racist she was. one wrong move with the police (especially if u r non-white) and u might be shot dead. happened with my dad’s friend’s dad. his car was pulled over and he was shot all because he moved his arms a little too much (even though both his arms were up).

bullying is really bad. we used to have dedicated seminars monthly to try bring the bullying down.

drugs are readily available and it’s common to see drug addicts in school. people even do drugs in school bathrooms.

almost nothing abt the world is taught for most of elementary and middle school. I don’t even remember learning anything about world history when I was there. we mostly learn math and ELA (English basically) during the first years of our schooling.

school shootings rlly are that bad. my life almost fell apart because of a school shooting right next to my brother’s school. it was an elementary (primary) school btw.

if u aren’t rich in the states, it is extremely hard to even have fun, especially now. not to mention, it’s hard to fit in. with my dad’s meagre salary, we could barely afford to rent a 1 bedroom apartment.

i also had a few specific problems. most of the indian diaspora in the states is South Indian. if u aren’t South Indian it’s impossible to socialize with them. at least, that was the case with me. ..no hate tho :)

healthcare is gr8. but super expensive. we all know that. my mum’s inhaler alone cost 200 bucks.

the states is a capitalist economy, they will charge u for pretty much everything. so it’s hard to get by with a median income.

yes, the dream American life is possible, but only if u r pretty, popular, rich and do well in school.

and those things I mentioned r usually only possible if u r white.

i will appreciate the us for some things tho-

1. the woke mindset. if I grew up here, I would be 10x less liberal. I have to thank the us for my open mindedness regarding the lgbtqia+ community, traditions, religions, etc.
2. diversity. u get to see soooo many cultures, it was honestly fascinating for me. u get to experience so many views and understand that different people can have different opinions and that’s ok. I was able to learn the art of acceptance there .

Today, I caught him pinching himself on his forearm. I asked him what he was doing to his skin and he started getting defensive and said “I would never hurt myself”, even though I never mentioned SH. I looked closer at his arm and saw a couple of scars that weren’t there before. Even if he isn’t doing SH, I find it unsettling that he knows about SH seeing that he is turning only 13 this year.

What do I do to help him stop if he actually is doing SH?

on paper at least

Some people argue that things that need ”skill” are hobbies. like gaming, painting, etc.

i cant form an opinion on this for some reason

MY BROTHER IS A FEMINIST!! AT 13!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD OF HIM!!

My parents hate that I’m doing this. They hate me for knowing so much about Indian politics and wanting know to more about global politics. Whenever I voice an opinion on a corrupt minister, they shun me and send me to my room. They tell me that I’m not focused enough regarding my academics and tell me I’m doomed to fail if I keep going down this path. That being said, I’d like to let y’all know I was the exact same way last year and scored all A’s. So they‘re wrong on that point.
What really triggered them is when I stated that the founder of CJP was going to lead a protest this Saturday. Both my parents were NOT happy with this fact and that I knew about this fact.

Anyways, is learning more about politics the equivalent to playing with my future?

TLDR; Is taking the red pill not the right choice at my age?