u/HiPakko

I was bullied from grades 7 - 12, almost every single adult at school failed to do anything about it, i’ve been depressed and had to do therapy from 2019 until 2026 (now), i became a loner in college in fear of getting uncomfortable / more hurt, my college days are over and i’m friendless where i live (i’m also an immigrant), i feel genuinely robbed of a healthy development and i miss my childhood every day that i exist. Most people have told me “i’m always on my head” or that “i have to stop being a victim” while some of my bullies have been living their lives.

Don’t tell me “you don’t” bc i NEED to get over this

Just as the title said, I had an extremely bad middle to high school, i had hope college would get better, but the venezuelan crisis made me migrate to the united states, the culture shock made me feel awkward bc i could not relate with the first world having lived through the 3rd world all my life. All my friends are from internet or very far local places, none from college.

I feel like a failure, and i know it’ll get worse, any advice from now on?

Just as the title said, I had an extremely bad middle to high school, i had hope college would get better, but the venezuelan crisis made me migrate to the united states, the culture shock made me feel awkward bc i could not relate with the first world having lived through the 3rd world all my life. All my friends are from internet or very far local places, none from college.

I feel like a failure, and i know it’ll get worse, any advice from now on?

Just as the title said, I had an extremely bad middle to high school, i had hope college would get better, but the venezuelan crisis made me migrate to the united states, the culture shock made me feel awkward bc i could not relate with the first world having lived through the 3rd world all my life. All my friends are from internet or very far local places, none from college.

I feel like a failure, and i know it’ll get worse, any advice from now on?

All my life… i’ve been told i’m too old to throw tantrums, but what if those tantrums stop being tantrums and actually are meltdowns?

I’ve lost friends, relationships, and some relatives goodwill bc of my meltdowns, i always tell myself one day it will stop happening, they never stop

Today i had my most recent meltdown and i honestly wish i didn’t have autism, it’s isolating, people bully you, and if you don’t have an economic fallback, the system would end up leaving you homeless (especially in third world countries)

I just wish it could stop, really bad, how do i make this my last meltdown? Forever

I for years have been an advocate for autistic pride, and i still am… but sadly, it has been harder and harder to keep it, even harder when i have less company than i used to

I was always taught that being different was dangerous, and that didn’t stop me from unintentionally being too different, meltdowns, being called spoiled bc of them, feeling guilty for not being as well behaved as my siblings. I’m the only autistic in my family if we don’t count baby cousins. And i just feel exhausted at having no one to relate to, most autistic people i actually click with are on very distanced places in the world. I wish it was as easy to just make new friends, but for me, it isn’t, i’ve been even told to just settle down for less and such, bc i’m not entitled for people to understand me, even tho everyone surrounding them apparently has someone.

I’m 26 and i’m kinda depressed regarding not being to change who i am fundamentally, or being denied a “normal” person’s social life, idk how can i keep it when i’m 50