u/HighlightHefty

Any other areas doing some later?

My partner hasn’t had a stable job since last year. It was due to a family member referring her. The commute was about 25-30 minutes and the job wasn’t a lot but still paid money. They were not very consistent at that job though, a lot of days where they would sleep in and ask if they should call in or just go back to bed so they can figure it out. They would call out of work weekly MULTIPLE times. On a lot of the days I would come home from work and they’d be playing games with their friends. We’ve had multiple talks about it, I get the job market is hard but after almost 7 months I just don’t understand. I’m frustrated too because when my partner told me they would quit I recommended that they look for a job that they can shift into so that when they quit this one they will still be employed. They said they didn’t need to and that they could get a job without planning for one within a week or two. I told them I wouldn’t bet on it and they got defensive and asked me why I’d say something like that and that I doubted their ability to get a job. An argument started over it which I was confused about because it was never meant to point and say it was because of them, I explained it was because hiring wasn’t the same as it used to be. Prior to this job they had a job at Petco in which they also got a referral from one of our roommates, but they did not stay with that job at all they quit.
Twice is a coincidence but three times is a pattern.

Fast forward and I asked for check-ins and job updates and sometimes I will ask to see the places they applied to and there’s usually no follow up for them showing me. Once in a while they will, but there’s still no follow up on the jobs they’ve applied to, no calls emails or anything. A few months ago they managed to get a job, but it only lasted one day because it was door-to-door. I didn’t blame them at all for that in fact, I was supporting their choice to quit because the job was such a scam. They would drop all of the team off in a van in different places in Los Angeles by themselves and they would have to go for eight hours until they would get picked up. There was no base pay. It was selling fiber optics for AT&T. I guess I could technically count that but I’m worried because maybe they have a pattern or I just didn’t notice it. When I got into the relationship they supposedly were working a short term job and going to school. I don’t know ever since this relationship they don’t go to school and they don’t work. I feel like I’m getting used at this point and I don’t want to feel this way even if that’s not their intentions. We’ve been together over a year now.

We’ve talked about a timeline in the future for marriage and having kids. It’s not any time soon of course, but it still feels like they have no goals or cares. I feel like they can’t commit to things or even stay consistent and I’m starting to question if they are even worth marrying or staying with. They have accumulated medical debt as well and the jobs that they have had or the times they’ve gotten money from their parents. I always remind them to save a little bit which we both talked about and agreed to, and yet there is zero dollars on their end saved. We set an amount they would give me every time they got some type of money and they have failed to do that let alone save it for more than a month. I also have been urging them to get their car repaired as it’s not been serviced in years and it has not had an oil change and also nearly a year. I tell them that if they don’t do it, they will not have a car and they don’t take it serious. I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one who thinks about the future and the practicality of things.

I have a job as a surgical tech for laser and ultrasound. I work a lot and I make good money, but I like paying for everything has fallen on me. I pay for dinner every time. I’m the one who pays for the dates and activities we do, and I pay for our commutes everywhere (I’m the only one with gas who can drive) there’s also times were they wanna go up north or south to see their dad or mom and I was expected to fully pay for the trip there and back, or pay for food, etc. I hated feeling like I was the only way they could afford to go up there. There was a time we got into an argument, and I didn’t want to go and they blame me for the fact that now they can’t see their family. The last trip they went on I told them I don’t wanna pay and I don’t wanna go because I wanted to work and didn’t want to request time off because I needed the hours, so they took the train.

I love my partner but I don’t love how much weight it feels like I have to carry knowing to not expect any help financially now or in the future due to their lack of work ethic and consistency as well as they money handling. It feels like I’m building up a resentment that’s beginning to outweigh the love I have for them. I don’t want to think about how in the next 3 years they will be in and out of jobs potentially and I may be stuck in this position for the rest of my life if I stay with them. I don’t feel like it’s worth it, especially that I want kids and to be married but they don’t even have a savings account. They’re in debt and play video games a lot of the time in the week. They’re don’t follow through with things and don’t go to school either. I feel like I might be waiting a long time until things change. I’ve had every talk and every type of way and nothing works to get through to them. Multiple times in the past I’ve come to them crying and saying how stressed out I am about bills and money, but it’s more just a “oh that sucks, I’m sorry” or they’ll say “well I’m trying” and yet nearly every single day they’ve played video games. I feel like they spend more time and effort playing valorant rather than applying to jobs. I don’t like what I feel like I’ve gotten myself into.

It’s from a movie I haven’t watched in a while but remember so clearly. It might be legally blonde but unsure? It’s a scene where she realizes her dog isn’t a girl but is a boy, then gets her dog out of the girly clothes. I know it’s random but it’s killing me what this scene is from :/