u/Historical_Loan_5969

I used to always be really anxious about being a bad person or offending others but my friend always reassured me that shes impossible to offend.

Early month my friend and I were debating religion and meta ethics, I started to beleive that she really is hard to offend so I was saying things quite bluntly and she didn’t seem to mind.

She’s a Buddhist and on the 8th of May she told me that my attachment to things and people is the reason I’m unsatisfied, then I said, “Well I think I’m a lot happier than you.”

She completely stopped responding after that, but I didn’t realise this was the end. I then added that I believe becoming completely detached is impossible and anyone who tries to just becomes mentally ill.

The next day I realised she still hadn’t responded, so I sent me some “I’m sorry” cat memes. No response.

I got really confused and asked if she needed space from me. No response. I started messaging every day, sometimes multiple times every day. At first I was upset/mad about being ghosted, but then I just started begging for her to confirm that she hated me so that I could move on mentally. Then I got worried something was wrong and asked her if she was ok and called her a few times.

Eventually, on the 16th of May she blocked me on insta.

After she blocked me on instagram I sent these 3 emails over 3 days.

1 “In future, if you don’t want to speak to someone again the mature and kind thing to do is tell them directly. The silent treatment is extremely distressing and much much much more painful than direct rejection.

Since you have blocked me I will leave you alone now.”

The next day my distress had escalated to a ridiculous point and it didn’t see any chance of it slowing down. I started worrying that I would impulsively send her something, so I sent the next email.

2. “Block my other emails please, here they are (email addresses). I don’t trust my future self because I feel very bad. I’m very sorry.”

The next day (the 18th) I lost my mind, i was overwhelmed by how much I perceived her to hate me and sent this.

3. “If you want me to hurt myself I’ll do it, just tell me what you want me to do, it just can’t look obvious. I’m being completely serious. Im so sorry for everything im so so sorry

Im not trying to coerce you into being friends again bc I don’t want that because I don't deserve it.”

I immediately retracted this email and stopped after this.

Am I irredeemable/a bad person? I’ve never behaved like this before. Would you forgive someone for this or am I just a bad person forever now?

My friend used to always be really anxious about being a bad person or offending me. I always reassured her that I’m basically impossible to offend. However, this month she suddenly changed...

This month we have been debating things and she started getting uncharacteristically blunt. We were talking a lot about religion and meta ethics and she said quite a few offensive things, but I didn’t react to her offensive statements.

I’m a Buddhist and on the 8th I told her that believe we shouldn’t be attached. I told her that her attachment is the reason she’s unsatisfied, then she said, “Well I think I’m a lot happier than you.”

I completely stopped responding after that, but she then told me that anyone who tries to become completely detached just develops mental illness. I haven’t said a word to her since.

She sent me some “I’m sorry” cat memes the next day. I didn’t respond.

After this she wouldnt stop messaging me *multiple times every day* either getting upset/mad about the ignoring, begging for clarity that I hated her, asking if I’m ok, calling, apologising etc.

Eventually, on the 16th of May I blocked her on insta.

AFTER I blocked her on instagram she sent these 3 emails over 3 days.

1. “In future, if you don’t want to speak to someone again the mature and kind thing to do is tell them directly. The silent treatment is extremely distressing and much much much more painful than direct rejection.

Since you have blocked me I will leave you alone now.”

2. “Block my other emails please, here they are (email addresses). I don’t trust my future self because I feel very bad. I’m very sorry.”

(At this point, I did block her emails, so the following one went into spam)

3. “If you want me to hrt myself I’ll do it, just tell me what you want me to do, it just can’t look obvious. I’m being completely serious. Im so sorry for everything im so so sorry

Im not trying to coerce you into being friends again bc I don’t want that because I don't deserve it.”

She stopped now.

Should I forgive or nah? We did have a good relationship beforehand.

I posted on here about with a while ago but things have escalated. I think you’ll realise I wasn’t actually in the wrong here now.

———————

On the 8th of may I ghosted my friend for really offending my religion in a debate.

Eventually, on the 16th of May I blocked her on insta cos she wouldnt stop messaging me multiple times every day either getting upset/mad about the ignoring, begging for closure, begging for clarity that I hated her, asking if I’m ok, calling, apologising etc.

AFTER I blocked her on instagram she sent these 3 emails over 3 days.

1. “In future, if you don’t want to speak to someone again the mature and kind thing to do is tell them directly. The silent treatment is extremely distressing and much much much more painful than direct rejection.

Since you have blocked me I will leave you alone now.”

2. “ block my other emails please, here they are (email addresses). I don’t trust my future self because I feel very bad. I’m very sorry.”

(At this point, I did block her emails, so the following one went into spam)

3. “If you want me to hurt myself I’ll do it, just tell me what you want me to do, it just can’t look obvious. I’m being completely serious. Im so sorry for everything im so so sorry

Im not trying to coerce you into being friends again bc I don’t want that because I don't deserve it.”

She stopped now.

I think her overall reaction proves she is a bad person and I was right to ghost her.