I am the 2nd oldest of 5 kids. Same mom, 3 different dads, all grew up together. This is the order 37M, 35F, 30M, 24F, 20M. We reach out to say happy birthday and will gather on major holidays or birthdays
. It’s very rare that all 5 of us kids are together for any occasion, my mom always jokes there’s always one missing preventing us from getting that full sibling photo. We moved so much, like no joke at least 10 times that I can recall between age 7 and 18. Not much stability, we never were told “I love you” ever really, we were not huggers, I just felt like we were an inconvenience and a chore for my mom (who obviously loved us, but worked hard, and also was always trying to find a mate to help raise us). Not trying to get deep into the whole childhood and story of my life but just adding that for context. I didn’t think much about how often we communicate with each other as siblings or even how much I talk to my mom or ex-step dad until I started working with people that talk to their kids EVERYDAY. Or call their parents everyday or at least 1x/ month
I only have one sibling (30M) that I can relate to as a parent now, and I’m super proud of him and he knows it.
My other siblings are just completely unrelatable, unmotivated, irresponsible, just no direction and make a lot of very dumb mistakes over and over again. They certainly would not be my friends if they weren’t my siblings. They don’t want my advice and I’m so caught up in my life I am not that interesting to talk to anyways because I work, take care of kids, wash rinse repeat… not a ball of joy like I used to be…. They HATE talking to me about anything because I’m “so perfect”. Married my high school sweetheart, 2 beautiful children, a badass career, own my own home… I can tell they can’t relate to me as much as I want to relate to them…
Do I have an obligation as the big sister to stay in touch? Is it ok if we are just not close? What am I doing wrong? What the heck do siblings talk about anyway??