u/Holiday_Carrot_1744

So back in 2021 I got with my now husband, we had our daughter in 2024 and ever since I’ve only worked part time and was off for 6 months after having her.

Now before we weren’t DINKS anymore I worked constantly. I’m the general manager of a pretty known phone place. I was literally working 56 hour weeks at times. My husband works the government, he makes good money and works full time. So we’re doing pretty well. Didn’t have any worries financially.

So a year after my daughter was born to the day we buy our first home. Our mortgage isn’t like terrible I don’t think but what do I know. Inspection passed and we moved in. We did have repairs moving in such as leaks etc.

We had an emergency fund of $15,000 which is now at 6,000. So when I went back to work part time I was making $20/hr. I was on call to always take my employees calls and help with whatever so the owner didn’t have to get bothered all day. It was awesome.

Well the store went down a lot in sales while I was gone. Basically have a year to turn things around and save “my store” so with that being said my boss unfortunately cut my salary since it’s just him and I so that means I don’t get calls all day now. That knocked my pay for 20 to $16/hour.

We’re moving to a new location and the hours are 10-7. I work 10-1 M-TH then 10-7 on Friday. Off Saturday and Sunday.

Once we move to the store front and the hours change I want to pick up Monday and Tuesday 10-7 keep Wednesday and Thursday 10-1 then Friday 10-7 then still off Saturday and Sunday.

Our daughter is almost 20 months. My mom offered to come to our house and watch her Monday and Tuesday from 1-7 then his mom Friday from 1-7 as well but we would have to take her and pick her up on Fridays. Which I’m fine with.

I discussed this with him and let him know all this and now all of a sudden he was just playing and he wants me to stay part-time and stay home with our daughter, but she’s at the point where she needs to get out and start socializing. She’s gonna be with her grandma‘s as nervous as I am too, to let her go and her be away from me, doesn’t make me feel great.

But at the end of the day this pay cut is going to make a huge difference on my paycheck. If I keep the hours I have now he says he can provide for his family, but then we’d be living. Check to check with my checks going down at least $250 every two weeks that’s groceries for a week we’re married. We’re supposed to be a team. He wants me to be modern and traditional and stay home which I’ve been doing for the last 19 months, but the truth of it is with the way the world is now nothing is modern and traditional everybody’s struggling.

So WIBTA if still picked up the hours even if he doesn’t want me to. He says he can afford everything and even if that’s true he shouldn’t have to. I wanna be there for my family and my child as well. There’s no reason I can’t help financially he’s just afraid to let go of the rains.

Everyone says gods plan. Well the devil has a plan too. Let’s talk about that or are you too uncomfortable to speak both sides. God is appearance and the devil is running interference so for every plan there is a counter attack. Hope you’re fast enough to react. Otherwise your choice is taken and your fate intact.

Who’s plan is right? Depends how good you fight. Are you strong or weak? Make sure you whisper when you speak, and don’t ever over think. One on the left, one in the right. They fight to entertain they already know your inner light regardless of how bright.

Shine hard enough to prove your worth a chance or join the devil and be a puppet to his hellish dance. It’s a dance that never stops. Not even after your body drops. It’s exhausting and they’re always watching.

Gods plan is that we don’t sin, if we do repent or we are damned. Praise him, hands help high. Sounds like the mass suicide guy. A cult. They talk in tongues and praise the lord. They say he’s healed and he’s a miracle but this mother fucker hasn’t talked, it’s all just spiritual. We have to have face to have faith? Go to church, spend money because god will give us peace after death. What about peace before death because this life has no peace.

The devils plan is we sin, we live our lives and try to be happy until the end. We can sin all day and repent so we play with the devil and ask god for forgiveness. Shit makes no sense. If this is the way we live then we are playing with the devil and then do a walk of shame. Go ask god to forgive you then we keep playing the game. The devils plan is to give people their desires then they get it and wanna plea to a higher power. It’s all a big puzzle and without all the pieces you can never complete the picture.

I have my own plan and i am not afraid to say god is just like my father, absent and abusive in unimaginable ways. I won’t put everything into anyone who gives nothing back. I’m going to live my life, for me and me alone. I won’t praise and I won’t beg to an idea we are taught to believe. I’m using my own brain and say fuck heaven and hell. Until the day I do imma do right by me and where I end up? One day I’ll see.

Life after death but only exist while living. Sounds like a L to me and I’m cool on who they want me to be. Imma live while I’m alive. I’ll have time to rest finally once I die. Heaven or hell we all wonder but I’m willing to bet it’s just 6 feet under.

CRC
©

© 2026 Holiday_Carrot_1744
All rights reserved.
This is my original work. Please do not reproduce without permission.

I have a past I can not change, I have a present and there is a lot of shame, I have a future I can’t control but I refuse to not be an exception to the rule.

My past is full of chaos, drama and loss. It was an empire and there was one ultimate boss. It wasn’t a person, it was the means to a loss. For me, loss of emotions, loss of pain. For me, it was my great escape. For others it’s money, image is everything, because it’s so easy to strip it away and then their nothing. I made bad decisions. Stupid mistakes. I played the game knowing the stakes, I rolled the dice not knowing others were also gambling with my life. I have a past, it’s full of darkness, ugliness, and fakes. I have a past but those mistakes don’t make my fate.

I have a present, which I’m currently existing, still. Still content and happy some days so really not much has changed in too many ways. I am sober so there’s that. I have all these emotions and don’t know how to act. I have a lot of anger and I honestly sometimes just wish a bitch would, I’m a lover and fighter and both feel pretty fucking good. They say hurt people hurt people and I’ve done that enough. I have a present and I’m existing waiting to start living and it’s time I took and stopped always giving.

I have a future, ironically which depends on my present. Obviously I’ve been here before and I endlessly lose this war. Tomorrow is technically the future but when tomorrow comes it’ll be the present again. So do we have a future at all? Aside from a momentary day, because tomorrow is the future but the present is today. If you really think about it tomorrow isn’t a day, it’s just tomorrow. So realistically we live in the present to see the future briefly day by day to just be haunted by our past where technically we all kinda stay.

Since today is the present. Yesterday is the past and tomorrow is the future we never escape our past. We never have much of a future to look forward to and they call it the present. The present, because we’ve been given this amazing gift. The gift of humanity. I’m sorry I meant to say insanity. It’s crazy how humans act as a community. All fake, all smiles, waves and hellos. But the humanity in us makes it worth while. Still fake for the most part. Real frowns, middle fingers and fuck offs. We’re all just clowns and all clowns frown.

I have a present. My past affects it. My future regrets it. Tomorrow never comes. Today is already gone and yesterday is far lost. I have a present, it’ll still be my past and determine my brief future. I have a present and this isn’t a gift, it’s a fucked up riff, a mind fuck you can’t get enough of. The idea is so taunting and so simple but it’s a mirage, nothing more than a clever facade.

I have a present. Fuck my past. Future is what it is. I have a “gift” so I intend to give. I have a present, whatever this lesson I hope i hurry up and fucking learn it. I have a present I’m currently existing in, still. I have my present, just me, myself, and anxiety pills.

I have a present. You have a present. We have have our present. But don’t forget, don’t be a fool, our presentness is our only tool. We were lied to, sold on hope, just a sliver. we paid for gold and we bought fucking silver.

I have a past and I just realized my past will never pass. It’s attached to me like a chronic disease and I’m tired from getting knocked down and watching my knees bleed. I have a past and every second determines my present because every passing second is now the past. And every second coming up is the future.

I have an existence. I can’t focus on the past present and future. I have a life. Happy or sad, manic or mad. I have a life and that’s all that matters. Fuck the “present” I got a gift for me, imma stay the same but discard the bitches around me. Fake love I don’t need it. Fake smiles I don’t want it. I have an existence and I have a choice.

Embrace or risk it.

I have an existence, let’s see who last and stays in it.

CRC
©

I have a past I can not change, I have a present and there is a lot of shame, I have a future I can’t control but I refuse to not be an exception to the rule.

My past is full of chaos, drama and loss. It was an empire and there was one ultimate boss. It wasn’t a person, it was the means to a loss. For me, loss of emotions, loss of pain. For me, it was my great escape. For others it’s money, image is everything, because it’s so easy to strip it away and then their nothing. I made bad decisions. Stupid mistakes. I played the game knowing the stakes, I rolled the dice not knowing others were also gambling with my life. I have a past, it’s full of darkness, ugliness, and fakes. I have a past but those mistakes don’t make my fate.

I have a present, which I’m currently existing, still. Still content and happy some days so really not much has changed in too many ways. I am sober so there’s that. I have all these emotions and don’t know how to act. I have a lot of anger and I honestly sometimes just wish a bitch would, I’m a lover and fighter and both feel pretty fucking good. They say hurt people hurt people and I’ve done that enough. I have a present and I’m existing waiting to start living and it’s time I took and stopped always giving.

I have a future, ironically which depends on my present. Obviously I’ve been here before and I endlessly lose this war. Tomorrow is technically the future but when tomorrow comes it’ll be the present again. So do we have a future at all? Aside from a momentary day, because tomorrow is the future but the present is today. If you really think about it tomorrow isn’t a day, it’s just tomorrow. So realistically we live in the present to see the future briefly day by day to just be haunted by our past where technically we all kinda stay.

Since today is the present. Yesterday is the past and tomorrow is the future we never escape our past. We never have much of a future to look forward to and they call it the present. The present, because we’ve been given this amazing gift. The gift of humanity. I’m sorry I meant to say insanity. It’s crazy how humans act as a community. All fake, all smiles, waves and hellos. But the humanity in us makes it worth while. Still fake for the most part. Real frowns, middle fingers and fuck offs. We’re all just clowns and all clowns frown.

I have a present. My past affects it. My future regrets it. Tomorrow never comes. Today is already gone and yesterday is far lost. I have a present, it’ll still be my past and determine my brief future. I have a present and this isn’t a gift, it’s a fucked up riff, a mind fuck you can’t get enough of. The idea is so taunting and so simple but it’s a mirage, nothing more than a clever facade.

I have a present. Fuck my past. Future is what it is. I have a “gift” so I intend to give. I have a present, whatever this lesson I hope i hurry up and fucking learn it. I have a present I’m currently existing in, still. I have my present, just me, myself, and anxiety pills.

I have a present. You have a present. We have have our present. But don’t forget, don’t be a fool, our presentness is our only tool. We were lied to, sold on hope, just a sliver. we paid for gold and we bought fucking silver.

I have a past and I just realized my past will never pass. It’s attached to me like a chronic disease and I’m tired from getting knocked down and watching my knees bleed. I have a past and every second determines my present because every passing second is now the past. And every second coming up is the future.

I have an existence. I can’t focus on the past present and future. I have a life. Happy or sad, manic or mad. I have a life and that’s all that matters. Fuck the “present” I got a gift for me, imma stay the same but discard the bitches around me. Fake love I don’t need it. Fake smiles I don’t want it. I have an existence and I have a choice.

Embrace or risk it.

I have an existence, let’s see who last and stays in it.

CRC
©

Who’s plan?

Everyone says gods plan. Well the devil has a plan too. Let’s talk about that or are you too uncomfortable to speak both sides. God is appearance and the devil is running interference so for every plan there is a counter attack. Hope you’re fast enough to react. Otherwise your choice is taken and your fate intact.

Who’s plan is right? Depends how good you fight. Are you strong or weak? Make sure you whisper when you speak, and don’t ever over think. One on the left, one in the right. They fight to entertain they already know your inner light regardless of how bright.

Shine hard enough to prove your worth a chance or join the devil and be a puppet to his hellish dance. It’s a dance that never stops. Not even after your body drops. It’s exhausting and they’re always watching.

Gods plan is that we don’t sin, if we do repent or we are damned. Praise him, hands help high. Sounds like the mass suicide guy. A cult. They talk in tongues and praise the lord. They say he’s healed and he’s a miracle but this mother fucker hasn’t talked, it’s all just spiritual. We have to have face to have faith? Go to church, spend money because god will give us peace after death. What about peace before death because this life has no peace.

The devils plan is we sin, we live our lives and try to be happy until the end. We can sin all day and repent so we play with the devil and ask god for forgiveness. Shit makes no sense. If this is the way we live then we are playing with the devil and then do a walk of shame. Go ask god to forgive you then we keep playing the game. The devils plan is to give people their desires then they get it and wanna plea to a higher power. It’s all a big puzzle and without all the pieces you can never complete the picture.

I have my own plan and i am not afraid to say god is just like my father, absent and abusive in unimaginable ways. I won’t put everything into anyone who gives nothing back. I’m going to live my life, for me and me alone. I won’t praise and I won’t beg to an idea we are taught to believe. I’m using my own brain and say fuck heaven and hell. Until the day I do imma do right by me and where I end up? One day I’ll see.

Life after death but only exist while living. Sounds like a L to me and I’m cool on who they want me to be. Imma live while I’m alive. I’ll have time to rest finally once I die. Heaven or hell we all wonder but I’m willing to bet it’s just 6 feet under.

CRC
©

© 2026 Holiday_Carrot_1744
All rights reserved.
This is my original work. Please do not reproduce without permission.

Who’s plan?

Everyone says gods plan. Well the devil has a plan too. Let’s talk about that or are you too uncomfortable to speak both sides. God is appearance and the devil is running interference so for every plan there is a counter attack. Hope you’re fast enough to react. Otherwise your choice is taken and your fate intact.

Who’s plan is right? Depends how good you fight. Are you strong or weak? Make sure you whisper when you speak, and don’t ever over think. One on the left, one in the right. They fight to entertain they already know your inner light regardless of how bright.

Shine hard enough to prove your worth a chance or join the devil and be a puppet to his hellish dance. It’s a dance that never stops. Not even after your body drops. It’s exhausting and they’re always watching.

Gods plan is that we don’t sin, if we do repent or we are damned. Praise him, hands help high. Sounds like the mass suicide guy. A cult. They talk in tongues and praise the lord. They say he’s healed and he’s a miracle but this mother fucker hasn’t talked, it’s all just spiritual. We have to have face to have faith? Go to church, spend money because god will give us peace after death. What about peace before death because this life has no peace.

The devils plan is we sin, we live our lives and try to be happy until the end. We can sin all day and repent so we play with the devil and ask god for forgiveness. Shit makes no sense. If this is the way we live then we are playing with the devil and then do a walk of shame. Go ask god to forgive you then we keep playing the game. The devils plan is to give people their desires then they get it and wanna plea to a higher power. It’s all a big puzzle and without all the pieces you can never complete the picture.

I have my own plan and i am not afraid to say god is just like my father, absent and abusive in unimaginable ways. I won’t put everything into anyone who gives nothing back. I’m going to live my life, for me and me alone. I won’t praise and I won’t beg to an idea we are taught to believe. I’m using my own brain and say fuck heaven and hell. Until the day I do imma do right by me and where I end up? One day I’ll see.

Life after death but only exist while living. Sounds like a L to me and I’m cool on who they want me to be. Imma live while I’m alive. I’ll have time to rest finally once I die. Heaven or hell we all wonder but I’m willing to bet it’s just 6 feet under.

CRC
©

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uRh5lxH44b

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JxUzCn23eX

© 2026 Holiday_Carrot_1744
All rights reserved.
This is my original work. Please do not reproduce without permission.

© 2026 Holiday_Carrot_1744
All rights reserved.
This is my original work. Please do not reproduce without permission.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

You exist your whole life just trying to fucking live. You live your whole life just to fucking exist. It seems like it’s all so pointless, so ruthless, so life less. Full of pain, resentment, anger, jealousy, envy. What a way to live. What a way to exist.

Don’t cry a tear for me now, you couldn’t be there for me when I was alive so don’t cry for me now that I’m gone. You can keep playing that same sad song for yourself. I played you mine and you wouldn’t listen. I played mine and you played yours, only I can’t hear it and you have to feel it.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

I thought after my time finally came I’d finally be at peace and able to breathe. That my demons would die too and the shit in my head would finally turn off. But I can’t, they won’t and it doesn’t stop. I’m choking, the air is suffocating and I’m falling. I’m still screaming. I’m still crying. I’m still reaching. Is anyone out there? If so would you reach back? I’m still screaming, crying, and reaching...God help me.

I always knew it’d be jail or a box but how did I end up stuck in this box with no escape and no one to even notice. I should feel shame, but I feel the same. What’s wrong with me? Most of my life that’s how it was so it’s ironic that my end has to be the same, still no shame. No sadness. Just cold. Just me, heartless. I guess there really is no rest for the wicked. No rest for....me. Never able to Rest in pieces.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

This isn’t a tale, it’s a story. An all to well known story, but this is about me, a girl who had everything and threw it away. I destroyed everything and everyone around me and I loved it. Chaos was my friend and dope was my heart. I never thought he’d truly kill me. Hurt me. Abuse me. Use me. But it was a two way street, and I loved it. I was Bonnie. He was Clyde and together we went down for the final time. It was too late this time. No more Bonnie. No more Bonnie for Clyde. Holding on to each other. Still afraid to let go.....just let go.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

I’m in my own hell, no one will ever reach me again. No one will ever hear me again. No one will ever see me again. Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now? Can you love me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Can you love me now? I hope you got what you needed.

I love you and I wish I had been stronger. But I couldn’t break away knowing it’d take my life one day. I’m trapped but I was trapped before. Don’t cry for me now. Don’t shed a tear. I love you and I’m here without fear. We knew it’d come to this. We knew it was jus a race against the clock. My race is done. My clock has stopped. Forget who I was. Forget who i am. It brings pain, no joy or happiness. My life was filled with sorrow and loss. Don’t think twice. I already rolled my dice. I’m gone for good this time, and I’m content with my demise.

Xoxo
Renee
©

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/DYfhwil6BB

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HBKTSYTmhX

Can you?

© 2026 Holiday_Carrot_1744
All rights reserved.
This is my original work. Please do not reproduce without permission.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

You exist your whole life just trying to fucking live. You live your whole life just to fucking exist. It seems like it’s all so pointless, so ruthless, so life less. Full of pain, resentment, anger, jealousy, envy. What a way to live. What a way to exist.

Don’t cry a tear for me now, you couldn’t be there for me when I was alive so don’t cry for me now that I’m gone. You can keep playing that same sad song for yourself. I played you mine and you wouldn’t listen. I played mine and you played yours, only I can’t hear it and you have to feel it.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

I thought after my time finally came I’d finally be at peace and able to breathe. That my demons would die too and the shit in my head would finally turn off. But I can’t, they won’t and it doesn’t stop. I’m choking, the air is suffocating and I’m falling. I’m still screaming. I’m still crying. I’m still reaching. Is anyone out there? If so would you reach back? I’m still screaming, crying, and reaching...God help me.

I always knew it’d be jail or a box but how did I end up stuck in this box with no escape and no one to even notice. I should feel shame, but I feel the same. What’s wrong with me? Most of my life that’s how it was so it’s ironic that my end has to be the same, still no shame. No sadness. Just cold. Just me, heartless. I guess there really is no rest for the wicked. No rest for....me. Never able to Rest in pieces.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

This isn’t a tale, it’s a story. An all to well known story, but this is about me, a girl who had everything and threw it away. I destroyed everything and everyone around me and I loved it. Chaos was my friend and dope was my heart. I never thought he’d truly kill me. Hurt me. Abuse me. Use me. But it was a two way street, and I loved it. I was Bonnie. He was Clyde and together we went down for the final time. It was too late this time. No more Bonnie. No more Bonnie for Clyde. Holding on to each other. Still afraid to let go.....just let go.

Can you see me now? Can you hear me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now?

I’m in my own hell, no one will ever reach me again. No one will ever hear me again. No one will ever see me again. Did you get the closure you needed? Did you get your last words in that you rehearsed for every time I left the house? Can you love me now? Can you love me now? Did you get the closure you needed? Can you love me now? I hope you got what you needed.

I love you and I wish I had been stronger. But I couldn’t break away knowing it’d take my life one day. I’m trapped but I was trapped before. Don’t cry for me now. Don’t shed a tear. I love you and I’m here without fear. We knew it’d come to this. We knew it was jus a race against the clock. My race is done. My clock has stopped. Forget who I was. Forget who i am. It brings pain, no joy or happiness. My life was filled with sorrow and loss. Don’t think twice. I already rolled my dice. I’m gone for good this time, and I’m content with my demise.

Xoxo
Renee
©

So this just happened over the last couple days I posted a post in the am I the asshole Reddit I told my story and I quoted my husband saying rewash my fucking clothes and everyone in the comments came for him. He’s abusive get some respect, divorce him all the typical stuff so I took it down because it wasn’t a bash post. It was petty revenge. It was funny at least to me so then I repost it, and instead of saying that he said for me to rewash his fucking clothes, which is actually what he did say in real life I changed it to where he said rewash my shit and how the tables turned all the sudden and I was the asshole. I was immature. He deserves a better wife. It was actually baffling and mind blowing, but also weirdly interesting how one word can change everything to a mass broad of people.

So this is both a petty revenge and AITA. This is short and to the point. My husband got annoyed I took the agitator out of the washer when I washed his clothes (ours is removable). He had to leave for work in like an hour and at this point his clothes are in the dryer. He had to start the dryer cause it’s janky and he said I had removed the agitator. He was annoyed and said “don’t do it again, you need to go wash them again since you did that shit” so me being me 😏 I wait till he showers and then suddenly I agree with him. I should re wash his clothes. So I did just that. His clothes were not ready in time for work (he had other outfits, but the one he wanted had been rewashed 😈) he said I was an asshole knowing his clothes wouldn’t be ready. But I also knew he had other outfits. AITA?

I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. We don’t need much context. we got a new washer and I take the agitator out when I do bigger loads. Well when I washed his clothes, I took the agitator out. This seemed to really upset him for some reason he got kind of nasty and got a tone and told me to go re-wash his fucking clothes then he got in the shower, so I decided I would rewash his fucking clothes. However, our dryer is a little Janky and it takes longer to dry and since I re-washed his clothes as he “demanded” they weren’t done in time for him to go to work. He had to wear an outfit he did not want to wear, so AITA knowing the clothes would not be ready, but also knowing he had other clothes he could wear he just did not want to wear that outfit.

**edit**
This is not a bash post on my husband or our marriage. He’s a bit bitchy at times, as we all are. I know he’s an asshole. I know I’m an asshole. My question was about a specific incident. Just wanted to remind everyone. I’d never make a purposeful shit post on him or our marriage. I’m talking about re-washing clothes. Put the pitchfork away people. I also do appreciate the concern people have had. I usually do just laugh in his face. But this time I felt cheeky. The point of this is play stupid games win stupid prizes.