I (24F) am dating a possible sociopath/ or narcissist (29M)?
I need serious and genuine advice. I think I fell in love with a possible sociopath/narcissist. When I first met my boyfriend, he seemed super and down to earth but as time went on it’s like I was seeing someone I never met before. I haven’t talked to anyone about this but I think I’m in a possible emotionally abusive relationship. When I use, “\*”, that’s means he admitted this stuff once I confronted him at the end. Here’s a timeline of some of the stuff that has happened:
\-He got upset because I didn’t want to answer a personal question so he went on to talk about my weight and saying I should lose more (I already lost 35+ in the past few months)
\*but weeks later that he only said that to hurt my feelings
\-Early on when we met he told me he was a paramedic but left so he can more time for us together. He even shared horror stories of victims such as children being hurt in horrible accidents and such. He told me he had PTSD from it all. (\*Turns out that was a lie, I had a feeling and looked him up on the registry and called, they said he wasn’t showing up. Days ago he admitted once I confronted him that he was lying. He even laughed and said he got a thrill out of lying to others because they never figured him out because he thinks the human race is dumb).
\-He then told me he lost a friend in a motorcycle accident which he got injured in as well and damaged most of his teeth. He even showed me songs he played at his friend’s funeral and seemed so saddened by it all, I always did my best to comfort him. \*(He lied, he never lost a friend and he lost his teeth due to poor dental hygiene).
\-I was hospitalized in March for a TIA and have to get surgery soon for my heart. He seemed sweet in the hospital but when we got home it was a switch. He would get mad when I’d ask for help with things because I felt so out of it and kept threatening to break up with me if I talked about how hurtful he was being towards me. I tried explaining how serious this situation was given my own knowledge from medical schooling I have down but he tried putting me down and said I didn’t have enough knowing (because at the time I thought he was a paramedic).
\-Each time I talk about my feelings he’ll leave me at home alone and drive off somewhere knowing my health situation and turn off his location.
\-He has tried kicking me out but when I go to pack my things, he storms out then threatens suicide. For example, I am currently in school for computer science and was gifted a laptop that he gave me. He had told me he wanted me out and while I was getting dressed to leave he went behind my back and stole my laptop (knowing how important school is for me and how I need that) and threatened suicide. He does it all the time when I try to leave and it’s a sensitive topic for me because I genuinely almost lost my twin sister to it in November of last year.
\-he’s not fond of me having male friends (my male friends were mainly queer and I explained that) and he had gotten livid once and threatened to break up with me again/tell me to leave but I found out that he goes to work and talks to women he had a thing with.
\-he has kept so many items from his ex and gets livid when I mention it. He even tried using so, “long lasting”, s\*x spray and oil that he had used with her (same exact bottle).
\-he has made odd comments about my body but would try to cover it as a joke. For example, he asked me if I bleached my intimate areas and I responded with, “no”, and he said, “yeah, it doesn’t look like it”.
\-will make unprovoked comments about how women eye him at work but he doesn’t give them the time of day (when I literally didn’t ask), he would tell me his ex looks like she’s gaining weight at work, how messed up her hair looks, is always updating friends in their circle about me and him which I am assuming trying to make her jealous…which is weird.
\-after dealing with my TIA situation it has caused bad anxiety and depression for me at times and all I want is comfort but he won’t do that. I asked for comfort because I felt a panic attack coming on and he told me he needed to finish his yogurt first so he can lay down for work. All I wanted was five minutes.
There’s more but that’s what I could think of at the moment. He blames his lack of empathy and etc on being on 20mg of Lexapro and says I’m too sensitive. What do you think? 😞