My coworkers have turned “being stressed” into my entire personality
I work in healthcare and have been at my current workplace for a little over a year. It can be a very stressful environment at times, with tasks coming from all directions and everyone needing help immediately. Naturally, everyone gets stressed now and then.
The thing is, I’m probably the person whose emotions show the most on the outside. If I’m stressed, excited, frustrated, or overwhelmed, people can usually tell. Because of that, I’ve somehow become known as “the stressed one.”
When I first started, the learning curve was steep and people would say things like, “Don’t worry, you’re doing a good job,” or “Everyone’s been there.” At the time, it felt supportive and encouraging.
But over time, it seems to have become part of the workplace culture. Now I regularly hear comments like, “*my name*’s getting stressed now,” “Don’t take work home with you today *my name*” or “Don’t get so stressed.” I’ve even heard that people make these comments when I’m not at work.
What’s strange is that sometimes it feels like genuine concern, while other times it feels like a running joke. The people who do it most are my manager and the most respected senior colleague on the team. Even a coworker who started after me has picked it up and comments on it almost every shift we work together.
At this point, it feels like I’m no longer seen as a whole person. I’m just “the one who gets stressed.” It’s made me incredibly self-conscious, and I’ve started holding back at work because I don’t want to give people anything else to comment on.
What makes this especially confusing is that I’ve been the same person my whole life. School, family, friend groups, previous workplaces - I’ve never had this experience before. It’s only here that one negative trait, or at least one perceived trait, has become such a defining part of how people see me.
Now I’ve reached the point where I dread going to work. I genuinely love the job itself, but I hate feeling like people are constantly watching my reactions and waiting to point out any sign of stress.
Reading this back, it sounds like I must have a serious stress problem. Maybe I do get visibly stressed sometimes. But I also wonder whether being naturally expressive and animated makes me appear more stressed than I actually am. Either way, it feels like this label has pushed me to the bottom of the social hierarchy at work. I feel as though everything I say or do is filtered through “she’s stressed” before people see anything else about me.
What hurts the most is that I feel like I’m actually good at my job. I care about people, I enjoy making coworkers laugh, and I genuinely try to be kind and supportive. But over time, I’ve started forgetting those parts of myself at work because it feels like everything about me gets overshadowed by this one thing. Instead of feeling like a whole person, I feel like I’ve been reduced to a single trait.
Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it?
TL;DR: I work in a stressful healthcare environment, and over time my coworkers have started labeling me as “the stressed one.” What began as supportive comments has turned into a running joke and a defining part of how people see me. It’s made me self-conscious, reluctant to be myself at work, and increasingly unhappy in a job I otherwise love. Has anyone dealt with being reduced to a single trait at work, and how did you handle it?