u/Hopeful-Engineer8546

I'll be 18 in July and I spent the last year with an emotionally abusive, physically abusive and sexauly abusive partner. They'd guilt trip me into saying yes even when everything inside of me wanted to say no. I tried saying no to them so many time's but i couldn't ever hold my ground. It gotten to the point I'd always end up saying yes and giving them what they wanted.

Yet I loved them with all my heart, they meant the whole world to me. I loved them, i loved us, but I let them break me into shards of steel of a shield that they used to protect themselves. They never took care of that shield and thought it would never break, but it broke, it broke so bad it wounded the carer of the shield and scared them deep in their soul. The shards etched into their skin, deep in their heart and it seeped out onto what was left of the shield and the shield rusted badly and sadly it was gone, us was gone. But what does it matter I'm a man so who would care, I'm a shield that can't be repaired. I was the sword for your hilt, I was what carried all your guilt. The one sworn to carry all your burdens, even when those burdens were you.

Just wanted to spout nonsense with this one so here it goes, well it actually happened but this is how I see it.

So me and my ex girlfriend had a a bad break up, well she made it worse then it had to be but either way still sucks. Me and her had a really rough go and this lasted for just under a year then it was getting better, what i don't understand is why she gave up on us + she left me for the guy she cheated on me with, well one of them but it's whatever. Anyways me and her used to psychologically and emotionally abuse one another and it sucked but it got better it really did it got to the point where I gave her a promise ring and all that I was planning to propose to her after my birthday which is 3 full months after hers and so she turned 18 and I'm soon turning 18 in July. Also I just want you to understand that I truly believe it was right person wrong time ya me and her really weren't in a good relationship basically the whole time we were together but it got better but she gave up on us why? Can you people out there tell me what you think please. And i don't care if it's harsh, I probably need it.

We were together for a year and two months broke up basically three months ago and she immediately got with one of the guys she cheated on me with such along time ago. Also me and her almost had a baby but she terminated it sad to say. She also tried, well trying to ruin my life with legal matters which baffles me when I think of it. I also want to add that I she immediately moved in with the guy. If this little summary tells you anything.

I'll try and do my best to make this make sense for you but it's gonna be a lot of information stuffed together so I'm sorry if it's to much all at once. Well here it goes, so I've been struggling with bipolar 1 for little over a year now and when I started showing signs of manic behavior and being downright shitty to everyone around me i got in a relationship with my ex girlfriend at the worst time of my life but she did make it better. Well it felt better, for my first relationship I didn't know what to expect and so I dived straight into it head first not knowing how much hurt I was going to endure from it and how much pain I would afflict on such a beautiful soul ( my ex girlfriend ) and so we had a very hard year together especially the first 7 to 8 months of it, it was full of emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, using one another, her lying and cheating. Yet I still stayed I still held on to her, to us but it never truly got better until our 11 months. Around 8 month's ago now she was pregnant with most likely mine and her baby, I say most likely because there was a slight chance it wasn't mine sad to say. Well she decided to terminate and it broke mine and her heart for such a long time, still bugs me. I still wish that baby was born even if me and her aren't together anymore I still would of been in that babies life no matter what. I'd also like to add that the babie would be around 1 month old by now which shocks me when I think about it, I would of loved them boy or girl, I would of liked it if it was a girl tho. Me and my ex girlfriend already had picked Vivian as our baby girls name but things went differently.

Lot of the issues in the relationship were around her cheating and lying but it got worse because of me not being stable mentally and me constantly having manic episodes causing her to feel worse about all of it, but it was me, i was the problem. She felt like she couldn't be honest with me and she felt afraid to ask or even tell me things to the point where she went seeking it out from other's. Was it me tho or was it her not taking initiative on bettering her life and how she lived it. Right when I started improving got she started to give up on me, on us. Me and her went through so much together so much emotional pain and also physical pain. Both of us went threw a lot yet we stuck together for a whole year and to months but it ended because she gave up on us. I'm not gonna deny that I wasn't in the best state emotionally, well what can you expect when you already have autism, ADHD then at the worst time possible my bipolar appears out of no where.

Was it my first love, was it drug out for a long time or was it truly just right person wrong time. This goes through my mind all the time. I truly believe that it was the right person wrong time thing. Just wish the right person was at the right time.

I'll try and do my best to make this make sense for you but it's gonna be a lot of information stuffed together so I'm sorry if it's to much all at once. Well here it goes, so I've been struggling with bipolar 1 for little over a year now and when I started showing signs of manic behavior and being downright shitty to everyone around me i got in a relationship with my ex girlfriend at the worst time of my life but she did make it better. Well it felt better, for my first relationship I didn't know what to expect and so I dived straight into it head first not knowing how much hurt I was going to endure from it and how much pain I would afflict on such a beautiful soul ( my ex girlfriend ) and so we had a very hard year together especially the first 7 to 8 months of it, it was full of emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, using one another, her lying and cheating. Yet I still stayed I still held on to her, to us but it never truly got better until our 11 months. Around 8 month's ago now she was pregnant with most likely mine and her baby, I say most likely because there was a slight chance it wasn't mine sad to say. Well she decided to terminate and it broke mine and her heart for such a long time, still bugs me. I still wish that baby was born even if me and her aren't together anymore I still would of been in that babies life no matter what. I'd also like to add that the babie would be around 1 month old by now which shocks me when I think about it, I would of loved them boy or girl, I would of liked it if it was a girl tho. Me and my ex girlfriend already had picked Vivian as our baby girls name but things went differently.

Lot of the issues in the relationship were around her cheating and lying but it got worse because of me not being stable mentally and me constantly having manic episodes causing her to feel worse about all of it, but it was me, i was the problem. She felt like she couldn't be honest with me and she felt afraid to ask or even tell me things to the point where she went seeking it out from other's. Was it me tho or was it her not taking initiative on bettering her life and how she lived it. Right when I started improving got she started to give up on me, on us. Me and her went through so much together so much emotional pain and also physical pain. Both of us went threw a lot yet we stuck together for a whole year and to months but it ended because she gave up on us. I'm not gonna deny that I wasn't in the best state emotionally, well what can you expect when you already have autism, ADHD then at the worst time possible my bipolar appears out of no where.

Was it my first love, was it drug out for a long time or was it truly just right person wrong time. This goes through my mind all the time. I truly believe that it was the right person wrong time thing. Just wish the right person was at the right time.