u/Horror-Evening-6132

Here's my latest DM request from a 5 year account that has 1 karma, no posts, or just hiding everything:

Silver-Werewolf-96173:14 PM

Have you an age range...

https://www.reddit.com/user/Silver-Werewolf-9617/

Ever get the notion to put some things together just to see if it comes out the same as what's in your head? I did that yesterday morning. I remembered that I had twice purchased some instant oatmeal in a lemon creme flavor that was amazing. It was discontinued, like anything I buy more than once.

I was reaching for my steel cut oats and noticed two cans of sweetened condensed milk on a lower shelf. I'd bought them last week for a recipe, then decided to go another route, so here they sat. While the oats were cooking, I took one of the two cans to the counter and punched it with a church-key. Then I recalled that on the top shelf of the spice cabinet, there was a bag of crystalized lemon packets. Hmmm. Yup, when the oats were almost done, I poured in a couple tablespoons of the condensed milk and a packet of the crystalized lemon. It was awesome; even better than the discontinued product I was grieving the loss of!

I know this sort of thing happens to everyone else too, so share your food related epiphanies here and let the rest of us benefit!

I feel like this business of being offended has become a fashion trend with far too many people. You can't get anyone's attention in a public place, because however you refer to them will be wrong. Say, "Excuse me, miss?" and get "MY PRONOUN IS '____'!" Okay, but you weren't wearing a sign to indicate that, so how am I supposed to know? What should I have said instead; "excuse me, person?" Or just "excuse me", then get called out for being rude and short with them.

Now, women are offended by having a man open a door for them. WHY?? Do they really believe the man opens the door because he believes all women are incapable of even this simple task? They are being told that an act of common courtesy is a gender slam and they're eating it up without checking the ingredients.

Someone steps to the side so that you can go first; you're offended. Why? Did you think that through before your settings went to "Permanently Butthurt About Everything"? In a restaurant, do you request your server to be a particular gender, so that you prove some convoluted point? Or do you understand that the server is trying to make a living and that your gender preference insanity is punishing someone who has no interest in either offending you or being your target of the day?

Those who know me understand that I am rarely the voice of reason in a given conversation, but this whole thing has gone so far off the rails and the media (including/especially the social variety) keeps fueling it for a broader user base. People seem much more easily led by the nose over the last few decades, especially. Whatever you tell them is believed without question if it puts them on the side of being able to point fingers at someone other than themselves.

I am violently allergic to strawberries. WHAT?? You're fruit shaming! I don't like any kind of berries. Oh, so you're prejudiced against round shapes. I think professional sports are ridiculous and completely unnecessary in every way. Oh, so you're unpatriotic.

We can't have opinions about anything without someone crying insult based mostly on the bullshit being fed to people who lap it up like it's sustenance rather than the poison it really is.

People are led to believe that being constantly offended means that they are sophisticated and worldly, that they are forward-thinking individuals, defending...I don't know, their right to paranoia displayed as defense of human rights?? What about MY right to be offended by all of this inane crap?

The energy spent on finding new and more inventive ways to be offended could be better spent doing literally anything else. Why are we doing this to each other and ourselves? All while we decry the way people can't find common ground. We'll never find it when we are so determined to ignore it.

I'm posting this again because I can't find the original and need the answers! I have a friend visiting this weekend and I've only been in Garland for a short time. I prefer family owned (not meaning kid friendly specifically, since I don't have any) over chains and would like to know what your favorites are and why. We both love Mexican and Tex-Mex, Italian and just American comfort food, so that would be my focus.

Thanks in advance for helping out a new arrival!

Edit: Thanks so much for all the excellent recommendations! Now I have a nice lineup to present this weekend. I'll drive around to each and get something small from the ones I think will best suit my guest, so it will make it easier to choose. I'd found Garland to be a bit on the unfriendly side; all of you proved me wrong and I'm relieved!!

This is the companion post to How we broke the men on OLD. Same tongue in cheek snarkiness as seen in that post, so keep your grain of salt handy.

Here's how men on OLD broke all the women. These are the requirements from the OLD profile of an imaginary man that we've all met at some point.

She needs to have taken care of herself and had work done so that she appears in her forties, even though in her sixties, but better for him if she really IS in her forties, so the man can flex.

She needs to be thin, but with enhanced breasts and/or other enhancements.

She should always present with full hair and makeup, even while cleaning his house and taking the trash out for him.

She should have abs, even though he doesn't.

Needs to not be as tall as the man and dress in a slightly provocative fashion when he's taking her somewhere that he knows his friends hang out.

Needs to ooh and aah over the 31 pictures of him with a fish, 23 pictures of a Ferrari with him standing in front of it or inside it. It belongs to a friend, but these pictures will help the man attract a woman who is easily impressed by material things that the man, in reality, does not possess and cannot afford.

Also be okay using her car for the date, since his got repossessed.

She needs to be okay with all of his pictures having him wearing sunglasses so she can't see the crow's feet and bags. Also to distract from the backward ballcap over the bald head. He can wear his store-bought hair on the first date.

She should enjoy hours on end of mind-numbingly stupid televised sports and remember to notice when he needs another beer so that she can run get him one and check on how dinner's coming along at the same time.

She should have her own house, in case he needs to move in after some really ill considered investments go very very south.

Also to provide him with a soft landing and make it easier to take care of him as he declines.

Needs to have her own money, so he can share it.

She should listen with fascination while he holds forth at length about his political and religious beliefs and make sure she shares them without any dissenting viewpoint. Or any viewpoint for that matter, since she couldn't possibly understand such weighty matters.

She should listen to hours on end of how his last SO didn't understand him and how the end of the relationship was entirely her fault, since he was obviously doing everything right and had already explained that to the stupid creature.

She must have no history of standing up for herself, especially to men.

She should have had virtually no sexual history beyond her past SO, and not more than two of those. That way, she'll have nothing much to compare him to.

When the man arrives, she should answer the door wearing Saran Wrap and heels, holding a cocktail on a tray for him.

She should make his life easier in every way, while wanting and/or expecting nothing commensurate in return.

She needs to be June Cleaver and Heidi Fleiss simultaneously and at all times. Hopefully while possessing the intelligence of a cantaloupe so that she doesn't think she's worth better than him.

Must understand that the man will dip out, should the woman decide she wants any form of return on her investment of time and emotion in him.

If she ticks all of those boxes, he will date her and get mad when she doesn't offer to pay for the date.

Just to clarify, this is the other side of what I posted about broken men in the Getting Started thread in this sub. Equal burn is required for balance. There's truth wandering around in the tongue in cheek snark; you'll see it if you relax a little.

Edited to replace a couple words so as to clarify the sentences.

This is completely tongue in cheek and I had posted it a while back, but couldn't find the post to link to it, so I got into my stored docs and found it to post here in DOseventy. The alternate view post, the one about how we broke the women, was removed by a moderator, who could not be bothered to give even a one word response when I DM'ed and very politely explained that it was only snark (mentioned as such in the post itself) and asking for reconsideration, including my offer to tweak it a bit if necessary. So I will post it again as the alternate view for this one.

How some women broke the men on OLD.

Do you suppose that we've broken them by the impossible checklists on OLD sites? You know what I mean, those lists of requirements (not just women requiring of men, but using those as the example for this particular post) that a man may or may not have been able to deliver when they were pre-50, but almost certainly not now, just because time didn't stand still for them?

According to some of those lists, a man has to have a six figure income or a nine figure savings/portfolio to be considered.

Some women have a minimum height requirement, as well as a requirement for a full head of hair, no facial hair, nice teeth.

Needs to have degrees, but not more or higher status degrees than the woman holds herself. Needs to regularly congratulate the woman on hers, while maintaining an 'aw, shucks' attitude about his own.

Needs to be in the same physical condition he was in his forties, never mind the fact that we women cannot claim the same for ourselves.

Has to be politically correct in every definition of that, has to be of the same religious mindset.

Has to have a certain class of vehicle for their outings and not own vehicles of which the woman disapproves.

Has to not indulge in sports or other activities that do not interest the woman.

Needs to be able to read the woman's mind to figure out what she wants or needs, because after all, if he can't figure it out without being made privy to it, then he's low effort and not trying hard enough.

Needs to present as the Marlboro man while having a couple doctorates and somehow be both sycophant and supplicant in addition to that.

Essentially he has to have her interests and none of his own. Always sounds like the woman wants the imaginary man she writes about in her journal at night and expects the real life man to fit that mold.

Is that how we broke them?

Edited for incorrect form of word.

This was suggested by another Redditor a while back on another sub, but nobody took her up on it. Hoping that we can have some fun with it in here.

I don't know if there are rules to the game, but I would think that we each list our three, and others can weigh in on which one is the lie. And the one who posted it has to be honest if the others get it right. Sound fair? I'll go first.

I'm five foot five.

I have more things that go bang and knives than I need.

I am an awesome cook.

Your turn!!

Edited to add that it was suggested to me that I move this post to this sub, which I've not heard of previously. I'll post it here and see how it goes! Then, it said no four letter word that is the plural of something that rhymes with 'sun', so I made an adjustment. Some rules just strangle a post, don't they?

This was suggested by another Redditor a while back on another sub, but nobody took her up on it. Hoping that we can have some fun with it in here.

I don't know if there are rules to the game, but I would think that we each list our three, and others can weigh in on which one is the lie. And the one who posted it has to be honest if the others get it right. Sound fair? I'll go first.

I'm five foot five.

I have more guns and knives than I need.

I am an awesome cook.

Your turn!!

I've made a couple mistakes in responding to DM's. Some of the mistakes were me misinterpreting intent, but the one(s) that really got to me were those where I thought I was conversing with a woman, but I hadn't done my due diligence and after saying more than I would have otherwise, discovered I was talking to a man.

I'm sure it must be the same for men, but women will say things to each other, even if we don't really know each other, that we would not say to a man, maybe any man ever. I assume that men also speak more openly to other men than to women about some things.

So the upshot here is that when you are Dm-ing someone, maybe lead with your gender in your opening request, so that we are both on the same page when the conversation begins. I have it as part of my flair to keep errors to a minimum, but if you don't do that, at least give me the heads up in the DM so that I don't embarrass myself, okay? Thanks!!

Reading through various subs, I keep coming to the conclusion that a lot of people are trying to find mates that have the same interests as they do themselves, then wondering why that person isn't appealing in that chemical, 'south pull' kind of way. They want to date themselves. Let me flesh that out for you a little.

This man is interested in hunting, he works on his own vehicles and does his own home maintenance. He likes outdoorsy things, live music in casual settings, walking through park-like expanses of green and structured plantings. He likes to relax at the end of the day and watch the sun go to sleep.

This woman likes dancing and nice dinners, likes her pottery class, likes going to romcom movies, likes playing board games and group games like charades, Trivial Pursuit and so forth.

Incompatibility makes itself known pretty quickly when those two try to make a go of it in dating on any sort of regular basis. She doesn't do any of the things he likes, he doesn't do any of the things she likes and both get frustrated because they don't mesh in their interests.

He wants a woman who knows how to handle a shotgun, knows which tool to hand him while his head is under the hood of a car. He wants the woman to enjoy peaceful pursuits that don't necessitate interacting with groups of people when they two are together.

She wants a man who enjoys squiring her about, who likes crafting something out of nothing, enjoys seeing romcom movies in a setting that relies heavily on the reactions of strangers and likes activities that involve other people than just the two of them.

The problem arises when they see what it is they are asking for is not something that is going to be enjoyable in the long term and will begin to chafe even in the short term.

He wants a woman who knows her way around a firearm, can change heads on a Buick, enjoys hours in outdoor settings and quiet evenings spent in comfortable silences; he wants to date himself in a female format.

She wants a man who enjoys public displays like dancing, likes doing artistic things that are not specifically practical, likes being around and interacting with groups of people, even strangers, when they two are together. She wants to date herself in a male format.

This is why no one can find the companionship that they mentally describe as suitable. The likelihood of finding this unicorn is quite low for both of these people. Sharing interests is great, but unlikely when those interests are so very far apart. Each ends up thinking the other person is just not trying, when the issue is that trying to be someone else FOR someone else is going to do nothing other than waste everyone's time.

Instead of looking for that mythical person that shares all of your interests, consider that the variety brought to a relationship by exploring other interests is, for many people, the glue that holds a relationship together.

She should not expect or be expected to work on a car when it is completely outside her experience and personal interest. He should not expect or be expected to enjoy movies that are completely outside his experience and personal interest.

Instead of trying to rubber stamp your interests onto another person, try exploring things that neither of you have done in the past. You can find common ground, but only if you stop seeing your personal interests as territory to be held and stop seeing new things as an invasion. If managed correctly, those new things can expand your territory, giving you some common ground to share instead of each asking the other to give up territory.

I love to cook, my guy doesn't like it at all and sees it as an unpleasant chore. I see it as a relaxing activity, a puzzle to be correctly assembled within a particular timeframe and made visually appealing at the same time. So I cook and he stays close to hand and helps where I need or permit, rather than going chin down in his phone while I'm enjoying myself. He makes it pleasant for both of us by holding a conversation with me and coming up behind me with a little hug after he brings me something I asked for. He stays engaged in the activity in order to find the parts of it that are fun for him, too. I have a deep and abiding lack of interest in YT in pretty much every way, but it's fun for me to be close to him while he finds videos for us to watch and I appreciate his excitement for showing me things that he likes and I understand why he enjoys them, even if I'm not nearly so invested. It's one person opening up to another to display facets that are not visible on the surface. It shows a desire to trust, too.

I'm not interested in spending time with a clone of myself. The man doesn't have to share my interests to a one, any more than I will share all of his. I already have me, so don't need a spare. People should spend time with a person with the idea of expanding their own horizons in the process, rather than trying to cajole the other into abbreviating theirs in order to walk beside you.

I'm going to try to post this and hope it speaks to others. This is a direct quote of the original post, followed by me taking a metaphorical punch in the hoo-ha and my response to same.

To the guy who held the door for me and then followed me a few steps before stopping on the sidewalk and calling out "I'm not trying to be weird, I just, uh, think I'm parked next to you.  You go ahead!" and then waited for me to drive off,  

Sir, may you only encounter green lights.  May pizza never burn the roof of your mouth.  May you awaken every day with a restored spirit. 
Absolute king behavior (followed by applause emoji)

(Edit: couldn't make the 'container' disappear, so apologies for the need to scroll sideways)

Here's what happened next:

4h ago

You have encountered that rare, unicorn-like creature that we colloquially refer to as a "gentleman". It's rare to see one out in the wild. It usually has the effect of making your day better and giving you a spark of hope for the human race. I'm happy that you had the experience! 🫠😁(This got some upvotes)

1h ago

-- Signed, woman on multiple psych meds. (This got two downvotes)

Horror-Evening-6132

1h ago

Oddly, no meds of any kind for me. Aside from that pesky cancer thing, I am a disgustingly healthy individual. (This got two upvotes)

Reply

1h ago

Ma'am idk if you missed the memo, but we believe in equality these days. Behavior as shown above makes men second class citizens. (This got a downvote by someone; I didn't vote at all)

Horror-Evening-6132

21m ago

I probably did miss that memo. Maybe because I wasn't looking for it. I've always assumed that doing little things for other people was courtesy and just being a good human. I open doors for people regardless of gender and it's usually the men who say "thank you". About half the women do and the other half not; they look at me like I just asked them to give me a PAP smear. I always figured they were just having a bad day, not that I had made some huge societal faux pas by opening a door.

By my lights, a man being courteous is not something I look askance at. I just don't feel threatened by civility or courtesy. It's not like he put a hand on her ass when he held the door for her.

============

So, what does everyone else think? Is holding a door and keeping a respectful distance now considered some sort of threatening, nefarious introduction to abduction?

Okay, I haven't said anything in the sub about this previously, as I wasn't immediately sure it would be more than a one time event.
 
Have had some months of texting and phone calls with a man; he isn’t local by any stretch, but not so far away as to require plane tickets; Texas is pretty big, but easily drive-able.  I felt comfortable with him, so when he asked me to come visit him, I was willing and I did so. Couple of times, so far.

He is a gentleman, opens doors for me, pulls my chair to seat me at a restaurant or even in his own kitchen.  He gives awesome hugs. I feel easy in his company and that’s rare to the point of being a singular experience, so I'm intrigued. He always has plans for things for us to do together, but leaves those plans open ended, allowing for change without notice.  That's great, because it means there's no pressure to get somewhere by this exact time or even go there at all if we decide last minute to do something else instead. 

He accepts and indulges my quirks and idiosyncrasies almost as though he is entertained and amused by them, rather than finding me off-putting because of them.  He doesn't seem to have any noticeable quirks of his own.  I'm an excellent judge of a person when I'm in their presence and so far, none of my alarms are going off and he seems to genuinely enjoy my company. He's pretty much the only man to take notice of me in all the years I've been alone following the death of my husband. 

As stated, he doesn't live nearby, so there's the driving involved when our schedules line up to allow us a few days together here and there.  I drive a few hours for a pleasant few days, then a few hours back home.  I stay at his house when we meet; a separate bedroom with its own bathroom.  I tend to fill a space with my energy; he says that the house feels emptier when I leave to go back home and that he starts to miss me as soon as I’ve gone. 

To be fair, it would be nearly impossible to entertain him in my home, which I share with my adult daughter. There’s no place for either of us to hare off to in order to provide suitable privacy for the other.  There aren't enough bedrooms for him to have his own here and it just seems as though it would be uncomfortable for everyone; I'm weirdly old fashioned in some ways still, so it feels inappropriate. 
All that said, he doesn’t seem terribly interested in visiting my part of the world because of those issues.  I understand that, but since I've spent my entire life waiting for another shoe to drop (and it most generally does), I'm wondering if I’m missing/ignoring something or just overthinking it.  For me, a few hours behind the wheel isn't a price too high to pay to spend time together.  
So, am I completely insane, or are there still some parts missing?

This is a post that somehow got deleted; not sure how. It was just starting to have fun when it disappeared, so I'm posting it again, just in case anyone missed out on adding to it!

Posted to Reddit 06/10/2026 noonish.

Reading so many posts, all in very similar vein, has made me conclude that for most people on OLD, dating is the same as shopping on Amazon.  
SO many sellers offering the item you want, so now it’s time to start filtering the results.  
Okay, that one’s used; I prefer new.  
That one has a rough spot; I prefer entirely perfect in every way, that nothing impede my belief that I’m perfect and deserve the same from this item I’m considering. 
That one’s the wrong shape, or color, or size; I prefer the physical manifestation of my fantasy.  
That one won’t arrive for two weeks; I want it within 24 hours. 
That seller doesn’t accept returns; what am I supposed to do with it once I’ve used it all up? I want to get my money back so I can order another new one. 

For those ‘buyers’, I hope they get what they want instead of what they deserve.  If they got what they deserved, they’d receive an ‘item’ that was very different in reality from the description in the listing.  For some, it might be just what they needed, but they’ll never know it because they are too set on wailing about their disappointment. 
I could be (or am) everything a right man could want.  I’m in great physical condition, my body is younger than my years.  My face is not.  I’m intelligent, I’m funny and I have the right skills to be a very good companion or partner for a right man.  
What is a “right man”, you ask?  
A man who is self aware, meaning he knows time is limited now, so it behooves him to factor that into a decision making process.  A man who knows to not look for perfect, because he can’t deliver perfect in recompense.  A man with a sense of play and fun, who can be entertained by little things he and his woman do together, from elegant to mundane.  A man who is going to have my back, same as I will have his.  A man who understands that I am a complete, evolved, self sustaining human being, not a commodity to be wantonly disposed of when his attention wanders, and his affection with it.  
This is why I don’t shop on Amazon. 

Reading so many posts with a woman's perspective, all in very similar vein, has made me conclude that for most people on OLD, dating is the same as shopping on Amazon.  
SO many sellers offering the item you want, so now it’s time to start filtering the results.  
Okay, that one’s used; I prefer new.  
That one has a rough spot; I prefer entirely perfect in every way, that nothing impede my belief that I’m perfect and deserve the same from this item I’m considering. 
That one’s the wrong shape, or color, or size; I prefer the physical manifestation of my fantasy.  
That one won’t arrive for two weeks; I want it within 24 hours. 
That seller doesn’t accept returns; what am I supposed to do with it once I’ve used it all up? I want to get my money back so I can order another new one. 

For those ‘buyers’, I hope they get what they want instead of what they deserve.  If they got what they deserved, they’d receive an ‘item’ that was very different in reality from the description in the listing.  For some, it might be just what they need, but they’ll never know it because they are too set on wailing about their disappointment. 
I could be (or am) everything a right man could want.  I’m in great physical condition, my body is younger than my years.  My face is not.  I’m intelligent, I’m funny and I have the right skills to be a very good companion or partner for a right man.  
What is a “right man”, you ask?  
A man who is self aware, meaning he knows time is limited now, so it behooves him to factor that into a decision making process.  A man who knows to not look for perfect, because he can’t deliver perfect in response.  A man with a sense of play and fun, who can be entertained by little things he and his woman do together, from elegant to mundane.  A man who is going to have my back, same as I will have his.  A man who understands that I am a complete, evolved, self sustaining human being, not a commodity to be wantonly disposed of when his attention wanders, and his affection with it.  
This is why I don’t shop on Amazon.