u/Horror_Law_7499

Court ordered was granted in 2021 for my then 6yo, which was just really a custody agreement. We never took it to trial. I was a pushover back then & really just wanted more physical time so I agreed to some things I wouldn't have if it were now. At that time, we both lived in the same town. The other parent works at the school & wanted to make sure he would continue to go there, so I agreed that parent would have the say in school & would be labeled "residual" for school purposes. However, per the agreement, I would have our child every day besides every other weekend.

In 2024, I had to move about 45 min away for my job. Our son was thriving at his school and at the time it was more beneficial for transportation obviously since the other parent works at the school. So we started to not follow the order too much & did what worked for us. He stayed with the other parent for the school week & would come stay with me on weekends.

My now 11yo, is wanting to live with me. He has the opportunity to audition for a performing arts school near my house. Him & I have had conversations recently & that is his goal, to move with me & go to that school.

He recently brought this up to his other parent. (I told him I would talk to the other parent first...which didn't happen). From what he told me, after they wouldn't agree multiple times, they finally said he would be able to go. Then that parent tells our son that per the custody agreement, they will be the one enrolling him & in charge of it all (why are they telling him that?).

Nothing in our agreement says that parents HAS to be the one to enroll or be "in charge". It does say if we don't agree then that parent is who makes the final decision.

I don't find it beneficial for that parent to enroll & put their info on his enrollment, he would be living with me full time again, & they would be 45-1hr away from the school anyways. I'm not crazy for thinking that right?

My main question is, do you think I would have a high chance of modifying our agreement to simply state I could be residual for schooling purposes, especially since the agreement shows he is supposed to be living with me full time anyways?

Or does anyone feel like because of my job & the fact we pretty much made our own schedule during that time, that the judge may think negatively about changing anything?

Idk, anyone else been in a situation like this?

Court ordered was granted in 2021 for my then 6yo, which was just really a custody agreement. We never took it to trial. I was a pushover back then & really just wanted more physical time so I agreed to some things I wouldn't have if it were now. At that time, we both lived in the same town. The other parent works at the school & wanted to make sure he would continue to go there, so I agreed that parent would have the say in school & would be labeled "residual" for school purposes. However, per the agreement, I would have our child every day besides every other weekend.

In 2024, I had to move about 45 min away for my job. Our son was thriving at his school and at the time it was more beneficial for transportation obviously since the other parent works at the school. So we started to not follow the order too much & did what worked for us. He stayed with the other parent for the school week & would come stay with me on weekends.

My now 11yo, is wanting to live with me. He has the opportunity to audition for a performing arts school near my house. Him & I have had conversations recently & that is his goal, to move with me & go to that school.

He recently brought this up to his other parent. (I told him I would talk to the other parent first...which didn't happen). From what he told me, after they wouldn't agree multiple times, they finally said he would be able to go. Then that parent tells our son that per the custody agreement, they will be the one enrolling him & in charge of it all (why are they telling him that?).

Nothing in our agreement says that parents HAS to be the one to enroll or be "in charge". It does say if we don't agree then that parent is who makes the final decision.

I don't find it beneficial for that parent to enroll & put their info on his enrollment, he would be living with me full time again, & they would be 45-1hr away from the school anyways. I'm not crazy for thinking that right?

My main question is, do you think I would have a high chance of modifying our agreement to simply state I could be residual for schooling purposes, especially since the agreement shows he is supposed to be living with me full time anyways?

Or does anyone feel like because of my job & the fact we pretty much made our own schedule during that time, that the judge may think negatively about changing anything?

Idk, anyone else been in a situation like this?

Edit: I wanted to also add that I know the other parent will still need to be on school paperwork & involved, I'm just referring to main residual parent

Court ordered was granted in 2021 for my then 6yo, which was just really a custody agreement. We never took it to trial. I was a pushover back then & really just wanted more physical time so I agreed to some things I wouldn't have if it were now. At that time, we both lived in the same town. The other parent works at the school & wanted to make sure he would continue to go there, so I agreed that parent would have the say in school & would be labeled "residual" for school purposes. However, per the agreement, I would have our child every day besides every other weekend.

In 2024, I had to move about 45 min away for my job. Our son was thriving at his school and at the time it was more beneficial for transportation obviously since the other parent works at the school. So we started to not follow the order too much & did what worked for us. He stayed with the other parent for the school week & would come stay with me on weekends.

My now 11yo, is wanting to live with me. He has the opportunity to audition for a performing arts school near my house. Him & I have had conversations recently & that is his goal, to move with me & go to that school.

He recently brought this up to his other parent. (I told him I would talk to the other parent first...which didn't happen). From what he told me, after they wouldn't agree multiple times, they finally said he would be able to go. Then that parent tells our son that per the custody agreement, they will be the one enrolling him & in charge of it all (why are they telling him that?).

Nothing in our agreement says that parents HAS to be the one to enroll or be "in charge". It does say if we don't agree then that parent is who makes the final decision.

I don't find it beneficial for that parent to enroll & put their info on his enrollment, he would be living with me full time again, & they would be 45-1hr away from the school anyways. I'm not crazy for thinking that right?

My main question is, do you think I would have a high chance of modifying our agreement to simply state I could be residual for schooling purposes, especially since the agreement shows he is supposed to be living with me full time anyways?

Or does anyone feel like because of my job & the fact we pretty much made our own schedule during that time, that the judge may think negatively about changing anything?

Idk, anyone else been in a situation like this?

Hi all. Pretty new here.
A little back story- I have an 11yo boy with my ex who is in prison & will be there until my son is 22. He has been there since my son was 3. But even when he was out, his mom was the main one helping me from his side with our son because he lived a "street life". My family lives out of state so them helping has always obviously been an issue.

I now legally coparent with her. She won grand parenting rights in 2020 (which I had no idea my state allows this until she took me to court for it). From what the magistrate said, because my son had a solid relationship for so long & his dad is gone, they felt it was in his best interest to make sure she stays in his life. However, she only gets him every other weekend. But things are changing now that he's getting older.

She has taken him to see his dad in prison since she won some of the rights. Our agreement says nothing about taking him or not. I'm having issues with this because now that he's getting older, his dad is starting to tell him things at visits regarding our previous unhealthy relationship from years ago with a lot of it being ass backwards. Now my son has started to shove some of these things in my face & seems to be turning against me in some ways.

I have 2 other children with my now husband & now that my son is realizing he can get away with a lot more at his grandmas & feel included in adult things, he's demanding he moves with her full time. I do not want this because I don't think full time with her type of "parenting" is good for him & I want him with his siblings! Now we are all arguing about this situation & his grandma is showing him texts from mine & hers arguments. He now refuses to come home & I have threatened to call the police but I also don't want to give my son more reason to go against me..

I'm really just curious if anyone here has had to coparent with a grandparent &/or deal with a situation like this? I guess my question is what would the people of Reddit do in this situation? I know it's more of a different dynamic than most.

I'm very open to any & all advice, harsh or not lol. Thank you all!

Hi all. Pretty new here.
A little back story- I have an 11yo boy with my ex who is in prison & will be there until my son is 22. He has been there since my son was 3. But even when he was out, his mom was the main one helping me from his side with our son because he lived a "street life". My family lives out of state so them helping has always obviously been an issue.

I now legally coparent with her. She won grand parenting rights in 2020 (which I had no idea my state allows this until she took me to court for it). From what the magistrate said, because my son had a solid relationship for so long & his dad is gone, they felt it was in his best interest to make sure she stays in his life. However, she only gets him every other weekend. But things are changing now that he's getting older.

She has taken him to see his dad in prison since she won some of the rights. Our agreement says nothing about taking him or not. I'm having issues with this because now that he's getting older, his dad is starting to tell him things at visits regarding our previous unhealthy relationship from years ago with a lot of it being ass backwards. Now my son has started to shove some of these things in my face & seems to be turning against me in some ways.

I have 2 other children with my now husband & now that my son is realizing he can get away with a lot more at his grandmas & feel included in adult things, he's demanding he moves with her full time. I do not want this because I don't think full time with her type of "parenting" is good for him & I want him with his siblings! Now we are all arguing about this situation & his grandma is showing him texts from mine & hers arguments. He now refuses to come home & I have threatened to call the police but I also don't want to give my son more reason to go against me..

I'm really just curious if anyone here has had to coparent with a grandparent &/or deal with a situation like this? I guess my question is what would the people of Reddit do in this situation? I know it's more of a different dynamic than most.

I'm very open to any & all advice, harsh or not lol. Thank you all!