u/HospitalExtra633

A destination wedding invite is asking somebody for 1,500 to 4,000 dollars and most of the annual leave they get in a year. Ask away, people say yes all the time and have a great time doing it. But I have now watched 3 separate people decide their friends "didn't show up for them" when those friends had 12 days of PTO, a car payment and 2 other weddings that same summer.

What was anyone supposed to do there, remortgage?

And nobody ever says the real thing out loud. You never once hear "it was too expensive for them." You hear "I just thought you'd make more of an effort," and the effort in question is four figures and a week off work.

So have your destination wedding. You have picked the location over some of the guest list and that is a completely fair trade to make. You just don't get to be quietly pissed off at people about it for the next 2 years.

So I'm 26f and I moved into my own place in January, first time living alone, one bed flat about 20 minutes from my parents. My mom has a spare key because I gave her one, for emergencies, like if I'm away and something floods.

For a couple of months now stuff has been slightly off when I got home. Not robbed, just off. A mug I know I put in the cupboard would be in the sink. The blanket on the sofa folded differently. I actually stood in the hallway one night trying to work out if I was losing it, and then I'd forget about it until the next time.

Then on Tuesday I got home early because a meeting got cancelled and my brother (23) was on my sofa. In my flat. Watching my TV. He looked more annoyed at me than I was at him honestly.

Turns out my mom copied the spare key in February and gave it to him. He works about ten minutes from mine and he's been coming here on his lunch break and sometimes after work for SIX MONTHS. He's been using my shower. He told me this like it was a normal thing to say out loud.

I asked my mom why she didn't ask me and she said she "didn't think I'd mind" and that he's my brother, not a stranger, and that I've always been funny about my space. She also said I should be glad he's got somewhere to go because his flatmates are difficult.

I got the locks changed Wednesday. Cost me 140. I told her she can have a new key once we've talked about it properly and she has not replied to a single message since, but my aunt has messaged me twice about how upset mom is.

AIW?

I (27F) have a friend group of about 6 girls from college. Two weeks ago our friend Kara texted the group chat saying she was putting together a birthday dinner for Taylor at this italian restaurant downtown. She said she'd reserved a private room and to be there at 7.

I got there a little early. Brought a gift for Taylor. Wore a nice outfit. Walk into the private room and there's no birthday decorations, no cake, nothing. There's a projector screen set up and printed pamphlets on every chair. Taylor is already sitting there and looks just as confused as me.

Kara walks in with some woman none of us know and introduces her as her "mentor" and starts talking about how she found this amazing opportunity with a wellness company and she wanted to share it with the people she loves most. She literally starts going through a slideshow about their product line and compensation structure. The pamphlets have income tiers on them.

I sat through maybe 4 minutes of it and then said I had to go. Kara looked at me like I slapped her. I said happy birthday to Taylor on my way out. Taylor looked like she wanted to leave too but didn't.

Kara blew up my phone later that night saying I humiliated her in front of her mentor and that I could have at least stayed for the whole thing. She said I didn't even give it a chance and that she put a lot of effort into the evening. I told her she lied about what the dinner was and she said she "framed it that way so people would actually show up" like she KNEW we wouldn't come if she told us what it really was.

Two of the other girls stayed the whole time and one of them is now texting me saying I should apologize to keep the peace. The other two never showed up at all because they figured it out from the restaurant choice apparently (Kara picked somewhere none of us would normally go to).

I'm not apologizing. But am I being an asshole about it