u/Hot-Focus3111

*I've only started realizing I'm "different" and I'm struggling to find a label. I've mostly gone back and forth between demi or greysexual... I don't care so much for a label rather than that label leading to more opportunities...

*I've never dated anyone, I'm just flat out struggling with explaining myself or trying to explore different areas.

*I've had maybe 3 crushes my whole life (one of which (looking back) I faked to seem "normal" to my friend) and all of those were before I was a teenager so I'm not even sure if any of them were real since I was so young.
*I don't find celebs "hot", and when friends show me their latest fling I struggle to tell them my opinion since I don't have one.
*I also don't fully understand the difference between sexual vs romanitic attraction no matter how much I try to research it... ("want to fuck" vs "want a life with"?? that seems to be the takeaway but that means nothing to me - no differences in my head)

*But I've started to notice that I do have an attraction to bodies (not just "parts", just overall), just not faces...... I don't even know... Like how do I tell attraction vs appreciation? I want to say it's moreso appreciation like how I can appreciate a womans body but not want a relationship, I feel like that's how I feel about guys bodies too... But then, it's like a mental vs body thing I guess; like my mind doesnt entirely care but my body can.. react to it at times. Like wth (I'm upset with myself, can u tell?)

*Honestly, I dont even really look at faces in my daily life and when I do look at their face... I kinda find it gross... like no matter what. I try to convince myself that no, it's not gross but rather that that is not something I'm attracted to... but I mean, if I'm honest that's just me trying to be nice and be optimistic. And no one filters on reddit so I'm bringing my full honesty.

*But I also don't think a bond with a person would help me (theory, I have no actual proof). < Which I understand is like the whole point of demi but this was the closest thing I could think of to "Explain" myself and I just needed some sort of community to help me. At the same time I'm not repulsed by sex and I do picture myself with a family in the future.

*Sooo... what the fuck do I do. I'm so lost and upset with myself and overall struggling. People keep saying "wait" or "you'll figure it out" but I'm sick of it and feel broken and hate it.

*Is this grey? demi? something else?

I've only started realizing I'm "different" and I'm struggling to find a label to help people understand me & help myself find others like me. I've mostly gone back and forth between demi or graysexual...

But I've started to notice that I do have an attraction to bodies (not just "parts", just overall), just not faces... Is that something other people who identify as demi experience? If not, anyone know of a better label/ things to look into?

Honestly, I dont even really look at faces in my daily life and when I do look at their face... I kinda find it gross... like no matter what. I try to convince myself that no, it's not gross but rather that that is not something I'm attracted to... but I mean, if I'm honest that's just me trying to be nice and be optimistic. And no one filters on reddit so I'm bringing my full honesty.

TLDR; can demi's like bodies but not faces?