Heyy there!!! Im 18 y old posting because I want to improve my communication skills and don't know how so I want friends who would help me learn communication skills because I m so exhausted like whenever I make friends online or talk to anybody irl I mostly dk what to say.
Heyy there!!! guyz have any ideas how can I make money as a student (im under 18 btw)
Hey guyz Im new here I was feeling so fuckedup that's why I decided to share my friendship breakup w y'all please tell me Im was wrong or she wass
So when I moved in this college after school I was in 1st year obviously I became friends w this girl I though I never would because I saw her fighting w girls but after some time a common friend of mine meet me w this girl and we exchanged instagram id;s w eachother im not going so much deep but after that she cameup to my bestfriend and talked with eachother I thought this is the first time i found a true friend because I have gone thorugh so much friendship breakups so I thought she is the literally th perfect and special one for me I put so much efforts literally because I just wanted to make her happy I love her so much even now I want her even now but I can;t force her to be mine so we had same thinking at first we used to do chatting all the time late night chats and even we used to spent our time with each other at college right she was a yapper at first and so do I after some time thigs got changed she got busy she said that her mother is sick and she have all these respnsibilities on her shoulder and I totally respect that even now right May Allah grant her mother health Amen but I was so attached literally like i was fucked up all the time going through migraine due to overthinking everything I even had to think twice before cracking any joke or talk most of the time when she was talking I was like yess , okayy , yess you;re right , hahaha , it was not rudeness or arrogance it was the thing that I didn;t know what to sayyy i dont know if anyone relate this I love her so mchh yaar but I became so quiet with her like I was not quiet with other friends but her Idk why I was like that I felt safe talking nothing with her I mostly felt sleepy when I was w her and she mostly complained that I don;t talk with her and she was always saying that ask me anything ask me anything and I had no questions to ask her sister was in the same class so she used to say that she is very private and she don;t even share anything with anyone im the first one she share things with right and I was very happy to hear that I rmr I used to text and her ask her what kind of people she like so I'd be like them I rmr her sister told me that she is group person she likes to be in a group and I was not but I said okay and we started sitting in the groups and I was mostly quiet im telling this all phse briefly right because there are alot of thinking I don;t rmr because I have bad memory no there were days where she misunderstood me even once I made a joke and she misunderstood me and I was so shocked because I never thought that way there ere days when I misunderstood her like there was this day when I didn't prepared for this exam and I texted her the day before that exam that help me in the exams and sit behind my chair right but the next day I saw that other friend let;s call her X she was sitting behind me And i was so upset my exam didn;t go well I was so sad and we had this argument and she said that i asking her to dont sit here but she wasn't listening to me that'swhy I choudln;t do anything just like that alot of stuff happened right during vacations her was going through something that she never told me I knew that she dont share naything w anyone so I used to console her i said that tell someone trust worthy so that you may feel light naw but she said that there is nothing I totally fine but I knew that she wasn;t due to her actions so I asked her you can share it with me and she said that (SAB KUCH BTA DUN with a weird emoji) and I said that why are you making me embrassed like you think that im gaining infrmation from you and I said that i will never say that and after that she said thankiew most of that time she used to say to me that ME TOH HUN IS QABIL MEIN DOST KEHLANY KA LAIK NHI HUN MERY SAATH KABHI KOI EXPECTATIONS MAT RKHNA etc.. I was so attcaked and I was being so much hurt by her actions I felt so much heart broken I felt so much pain due to her words that I can't put into words she wanted space from everyone she said that JAB SCHOOL MEIN BHI VACATIONS HOTI THIN TOH MEIN SAB SY CUTT OFF KRLETI THI so I said okayy but I cann;tt bear a day without talking to you most of the time when we used to had arguments I always used to say that are you breakingup with me and she was like ye tow chotay bachay krty hein dosti mein esi krti hi nahi hun jo mein baad mein tor dun toh ap har waqt yeh kio kehti rehti ho ky dosti tor rhi ho itna asaan hota hia kiya dosti tor na she also used to say that I am attached with me but most of the time her actions told something else most of the time I was so rude with her ik i was never so pious right I love her so much yaar what should i do broo but the thing I felt is when ever we were talking my intuition tells me that she is not the one she is not the one and I ignored it like fully yar I just wanted a friend aur kuch nahi like the baddest thing is that I have to think twice even before talking or cracking a joke so that she may not feel bad or judged right she used to make fun of my height and i was like it's okayy she's my friend she can do it right like in a grouppp broo damn fuckk whenever I was with her I felt compeletly mentally fuckedd and she also used to say that I made her feel bad so basically red flag met a redflag and both became fuckedup by eachother's mental illness but ik when I was like in my sad phase I used to like post these sad songs on my stories right and she asked me what happened and I said that I was nothing you can;t understand so she said that SAB KUCH MJPR DAAL RHI HO MJSY BADLA LY RHI HO and I just that KIYA AB MERY PASS YAHI BACH GYA HIA MERI ZINDAGI MEIN KA AB MEIN LOGON SY REVENGE LETI PHIRUN?? then I got so fustrated and I said that I swear on Allah I am not going to tell you any of my things (secrets) and she was like thankyou every muchh ab tow apny bta diya ka ap mjsy baat nahi krna chahti etc ab tow apny qasam kha li hai ka ap mjsy baat bhi nahi krna chahti and I was like noo I didn;t say that I swore that im not going to share nay of my secrets with you and I was explaining all of this to her and lmk you that before these things she said to me that L*N PAR CHARO even when we aint having any arguments at that time and confronted her and then she apologized and I forgot that and I was so ahppy that usko uski galti realize to hogyi na atleast okay and on the topo of that lmk you that ham normal friends ki tarah nahi thayy bilkul bhii after all the things I told you guyz issy andaza to lga liya hoga ap sab nyy last time when we talked she was like very dry towards me and we bearly chat so I texted her tht Im not going to text her anymore and she said that EK SEC MEINY APKO KABHI KAHA HIA KA MJY TEXT KRO???? and I said that mujhy baat karni hoti hai isilia tarha hamari argumant hogayi phir sayy and on the top of that she said that im the one who wanted space and doesnt wanted to talk Bravoo hats off to me when I never said that and do you know guyz she also told me quiet times that im so dumb mein har kisi ki baato mein ajati hun and I agreed with her and she said that she is tired of fighting me she has no enery of it she said that I have said so manyhurt full things to her and she was always so respectful towards me btw she used to call me Ap and when I used to get angry I call her tumm instead of ap I literally can;t moveon bhaii idk what to do mjy neend nahi atii har waqtt thinking about her I even cut off my hair and It;s looking so bad ka mjy khud hi hasi ajati apny baalo ko dekh kr... I am feeling so fucked up ka mein kabhi bhi itna easily nahi roti thi apny ghr wlao ki baato pr And abhi kuch dino pehly normal c baat pr I started crying even my family knows that something is off with me tell mee telll mee what is this called?????????