Im am co-dependent and its my fault
Hi everyone, im wondering if anyone experience the same and if there are any tools/advice.
I am in a very loving marriage. My husband has ADHD and I have generalised anxiety with some ADHD and depression.
We love each other deeply and we support each other. Throughout my life I have always struggled with “depending too much on other’s moods or allowing other’s feelings to affect me”. This goes back to family members and early childhood friends.
Nowadays it is manifesting strongly with my husband. He does not ask or expects for me to support him or fix him or anything (indeed he frequently says: “these are my feelings and they are my responsibility”), but I still get very affected by them.
I have tried reading about the topic and in THEORY I know that it is not my responsibility to manage his emotions. Rationally I KNOW that it is not sustainable, that there is little I can do regarding external factors, and that he is an adult and I should be able to have a good day regardless of how he is feeling. In PRACTICE though, I find it IMPOSSIBLE to separate myself from his feelings and to continue about my day without thinking/obsessing on his mood and how to fix it.
I am really after tools/advice/experiences about practicing that emotional differentiation. Does it ever get easier? Am I supposed to force myself into going along with my day?
TIA