u/Human-Time-4114

My wife (30sF) is giving birth to our second child on Tuesday. We also have a 2.5-year-old at home.

Months ago, my wife and I made a concrete postpartum plan. We wanted a full month of zero visitors so we could be slobs, survive the sleepless nights, and let my wife physically heal. My sister (a neonatal nurse) is flying in the day before the birth to stay at our house and watch our toddler while we are at the hospital (when we come home she will leave), We trust her completely. The plan was for my in-laws to visit a month later.

My in-laws are notoriously unhelpful. They require hosting, and their track record with our toddler is awful (recently, they took him on a two-mile walk with a push-bike in 90-degree heat with no water, and I had to intervene).

When my wife originally told her mom our "wait a month" plan, her mom interrupted her and literally said, "Um, no, we ARE coming. I want to be there if you need me."

My wife hates confrontation. Her mom has bulldozed her entire life, and her mom's strategy is to just force her way until my wife gives in to avoid the stress. Because my wife is 9 months pregnant and exhausted, she caved. She told me, "I didn't want to fight. I just didn't want to deal with it."

Here is the current situation: Her parents arrive the morning before the birth, are here for the birth, and leave the day after. They booked their own hotel. They told my wife, "Don't worry, we are staying at the hotel and will just visit the baby at the hospital."

But in the exact same breath, they mentioned they want to "hang out" with our 2.5-year-old and "do some odd jobs around the house." I immediately asked my wife, *when* exactly do they plan on doing that? Our toddler isn't going to be hanging out at the maternity ward.

It is an obvious Trojan Horse—they are planning to come to our house and get in the way while my sister is trying to manage the toddler.

I am absolutely furious. I am pissed they invited themselves. I am pissed at the blatant disrespect her mother showed by ignoring a direct "no" from her pregnant daughter. But mostly, I am angry that my wife's one chance to just come home, heal, and exist in a stress-free environment has been hijacked because her mom "wants to be there."

I told my wife, "Your mom wins again, and it makes me so mad that she has zero respect for you." I then told her that I am taking over. Her parents can stay at their hotel, and they can see the baby at the hospital. But they are absolutely banned from stepping foot in our house. I refuse to host them, and I refuse to let them ruin the peace we planned for.

I’m being called a controlling asshole for "overriding" my wife and banning her parents from the house when she already said they could come. But from my perspective, she only said yes because she was bullied into it, and I am stepping in to be the bad guy and protect her peace. AITA?

My wife is due in three days (5/12) with our second child. We also have a 2.5-year-old toddler.

I told my wife I do not want her parents visiting for the first month. Having a newborn and a toddler is going to be incredibly stressful, and her parents are the type of "guests" who require entertaining rather than actually helping.

To manage the toddler while my wife is in the hospital, we already have a rock-solid plan: my sister (who is a nurse) and her 19-year-old son are coming to stay with us. They are incredibly helpful.

Initially, my wife pushed back on banning her parents, saying, "Better to just get it over with, right?" and suggested they could help watch our 2.5-year-old. I reminded her of their track record, and told her absolutely not.

Here is why I don't trust them to help:
* **The Safety Incident:** The last time they watched him at their house, they took our toddler outside on a push-trike in 90-degree weather with zero water, and made him go a mile and back. I had to blow up at my wife (who was at work) to call them and force them to bring him home.
* **Zero Engagement:** Her mom has literally never played with him. She turns on the TV for him and sits there doomscrolling or playing poker on her phone. Her dad will play for about an hour before tapping out to scroll on his phone.
* **I do all the work anyway:** We recently flew out to visit them so they could see their grandson. I still ended up doing 99% of the parenting—feeding, changing, entertaining, and putting him down—while they just watched.

My wife eventually agreed and told them they didn't need to come. But about a month ago, her dad was on the phone saying, "We were thinking about coming..." and her mom actually interrupted him, got on the phone, and said, "Um. No, we ARE coming. I want to be there if you need me."

My wife tried to politely say, "No thanks, we have it covered," but her mom just doubled down and insisted they were coming anyway.
After that call, I told my wife that her mother's behavior is extremely disrespectful. She is steamrolling our boundaries, forcing a visit under the guise of "helping" when history proves she won't actually help. I told my wife I don't want to hear about it or talk about it again—they are not staying with us.

Am I overreacting for putting my foot down and flat-out refusing to allow this visit?

Edit: thank you for everyone that has commented! I appreciate you letting me vent and giving me things to think about!!

Edit for clarification:

She absolutely doesn’t want her mom present during birth. Her mom tried to be in the room during first birth and my wife cried until her mom relented.

She has said that if they came she would have to entertain them instead of focus on the newborn, but, she had said before and during these conversations her mom always gets her way and that’s how it’s always been growing up. So she accepts her mom’s attitude to a certain extent. She is of the mindset, “the sooner they make an appearance the sooner they leave”

Hello,

I had the transfer case fluid changed two weeks ago. More often than not when I turn on the vehicle the buttons are not illuminated. If I push 2HI it will stay illuminated. If 2HI happens to be illuminated when starting the vehicle the light will go out within 15 minutes of driving and no matter what I try to do, the light will not come back.

Wiring/button issue? Or is there something wrong with the transfer case?

1999 k1500 suburban.

Thanks!