I watched p again, and I went back to watching the escalated things I hate myself for watching. Yet I keep going back to scroll through nsfw twitter. Even if there's no mo involved I still feel like I'm back at square one psychologically. (feeling demotivated, exhausted, etc.)
I ask because I try to pray the rosary and meditate, but then my mind reminds me of dirty thoughts, and I feel too impure to pray. Should I push through this discomfort and how?
Same if I see someone praying or anything (esp on social media, not really in person) I want to get over this and not feel this way however, as it's led me to neglect my spiritual life.
Despite praying my rosary for the first time in awhole, I still decided to watch it, even though there was no touching involved, I still feel like I'm back at square one.
It's shameful because I keep doing it, giving into temptation. It's much more addicting than regular pornography in my experience, I do not know what to do because everytime I say I'm done I end up giving in.
Okay so I (19M) have been doing nofap for a few months now, put I still get the urge to watch lewd and erotic content, and then I waste just as much time as I did before doing nofap.
I've been doing good at avoiding spending tons of time online and getting outside, but nearing the end of the day the desires are strongest, and whenever I do give in, I often really mess up my sleep schedule, and then I don't go out for the next day, and then I get closer to my pre-npfap routine.
Any advice or methods on how to get the urges to go away? Not just for that kind of content but also social media in general before I go to sleep?
Advice? Has anyone else had a similar issue?
It makes me feel very gross with myself, because despite going so many days without release, I still end up stimulating myself unitentionally and sometimes intentionally. I don't like that I have desires in the first place, and how fluid builds up and finds release whether I like it or not, like ? Wet dreams feel equally soul-crushing.
It seems so hopeless, I don't want to start over but maybe it'd be best if I got this pent up tension out? Idk if I'm trying to bargain or what, I'm just so uncomfortable.
I keep being tempted by these urges, I keep peeking again and again but never fully relapsing, I'm going insane. Why is my body like this, it's like it's battling my rational mind at every turn.
I wish I never edged, because now all I can think about it ending my streak. I don't want to but I feel like such a hypocrite.
Helped needed. My brain keeps telling me that there's so many games I haven't played through, and that I should "just make sure" they're nothing special. Says the same about regular porn as well, but this is something I'm going mad thinking about. Porn games are far more addicting in my experience, I guess because they're interactable.
But this past day or two, the temptations have made their random appearance, because I've been feeling guilty and upset over a series of sexual dreams (without nocturnal emission) and it's like I'm starting to psych myself out by focusing on them, which just brings that lust to me, yet I also want guidance on how to deal with it.
Got past 90 days, and it's been, by the grace of God no doubt, rather simple for me. Temptations only come up sporadically, and I can forget about them.
This past day or two, the temptations have made their random appearance, and particularly I've been feeling guilty and upset over a series of sexual dreams (without nocturnal emission) and I feel like I'm starting to psych myself out by focusing on it, which just brings that lust right back to me, yet I also want to get guidance on how to deal with it. I've seen mixed responses on whether or not lustful dreams are demonic or not, but either way it's gotten me feeling very wrong.