u/Humble_Nectarine8564

I started having uncontrollable anxiety, always smelling smoke, itchy skin, tinnitus, so I went on HRT for a year. I suddenly started having adrenaline rushes around 4am in April which then panicked me more and turned into all day attacks for the last 4 months. I stopped HRT and had full bloodwork done after being in the ER three times and told I’m fine it’s nocturnal panic attacks and panic disorder.
They say everything is fine but my body doesn’t feel fine. I can’t fall asleep then when I manage to I wake up every couple hours in a panic. I saw a functional doctor who had me do the Dutch test. High cortisol clearance, so my body is clearing crazy amounts of cortisol and not retaining it for any of the benefits , and messed up circadian rhythm. Also almost no progesterone and lower end estrogen, low testosterone.

I had to see a psychiatrist who gave me gabapentin as I don’t tolerate anything that affects serotonin. I hate it. It does help me sleep but it only lasts about 5 hours and then you can definitely feel that you need another dose.

I’m on collagen, taurine, magnesium glycinate, ltheanine. I also have glycine, passionflower, ashwaghanda, chamomile, and lemon balm, and probably some other things! I hate rotating through them all!

I’m tired of having cortisol jerk me from any sleep I’m getting into a full panic that lasts almost all day with the little jolts of adrenaline in my chest and internal vibrating.
I never felt completely ok on HRT either. I was sleeping good in the beginning but that stopped and I was having a lot of bloating and aches and then the anxiety started getting bad especially in physical sensations.

I’m only 43 and my bloodwork shows my fsh is still what it should be for someone who is ovulating and fertile.
I feel like stopping it all again and trying my baseline. I also don’t want to be stuck on gabapentin but I feel like what are my other options? How do you know when to stop HRT and just let our bodies do what they are going to do?

I was promised no dependency issues. 3 weeks in and I’m having anxiety between doses. I didn’t take any today and it’s 1am and I can’t sleep without the stupid gabapentin!
My sleep was crap before but at least I wasn’t laying in my bed crying because I’m fighting the urge to take a pill just to sleep!

I’ve never had addiction issues ever or felt the overwhelming need to take something!

I feel very trapped. I want the anxiety and sleep to happen but I want to be able to do it without feeling like I NEED this pill!

Finally got my estrogen patch. I do have a uterus but wanted to trial just the estrogen patch to see if it helps with my adrenaline, sore breasts, anxiety before adding progesterone back in. I remember seeing something from a menopause specialist that said you can start your stack with estrogen because you won’t develop uterine cancer in 3 months if you want to trial estrogen first.

Progesterone does crap for my sleep now and honestly I can’t be bound to my bed for another month with fear and heart palpitations. I can’t fall or stay asleep and it never fails I wake up with a panic attack already there and it goes on for most of the day.

I’ve been off HRT for several weeks and my period started around CD 30 like it use to. It’s an actual period with cramps and blood!
For the year I was on HRT my periods got light and maybe 3 days. I didn’t need to use anything because it wouldn’t even reach the pad.
Ive been having horrible anxiety it was while I was on HRT and sometimes two periods a month also bloating and horrible sleep about 4 months into it and it was shortened to 24 days on the months I didn’t have two cycles.

I’m starting to wonder if I should even start it back up. I have a months supply of 0.075mg patches on the way. My Winona provider suggested even going up on estrogen to handle my issues.

My Dutch test shows my progesterone levels are post menopausal and my estrogen is almost there. Also my testosterone is post menopausal, but you can’t get anyone to prescribe it around here!

The anxiety is the worst! The cortisol and adrenaline dumping, heart racing! I’m not mentally anxious over anything even though my psychiatrist says it’s panic/anxiety!

I’ve been in gabapentin for two weeks. 200mg twice a day and up to 400mg at night for sleep. I have been taking 200mg at night instead.
I’ve notice around 5 hours in my face gets tingly and I start getting physical anxiety symptoms in my chest. Like little adrenaline rushes.

Am I have withdrawals between doses? This was given to me for anxiety because nothing else has helped. It’s already hard enough to take this 3 times a day but for it to be wearing off 5 hours in is crazy.

If I’m already feeling this after two weeks should I even keep taking it or should I just quit now?

Which hormone do I need to increase during luteal/ late luteal to stop the itching. It’s not my vulva but it’s my mon pubis. Sometimes my hands and sometimes my feet also. It’s also itchy during my period.
I’m on my last 0.075 patch and trying to figure out if I need to go up to 0.1 or do a couple more months at 0.075.
I know blood tests aren’t accurate but my progesterone was 5.3ng, estrogen was 88.8pg, lh 3.5ml, fsh 4.7ul, prolactin 13.1 ng, testosterone 58ng. This was all on a break from HRT.

I was itching before I started HRT and that was part of the reason I started it but took a break due to some issues that I’m still trying to resolve.

How do I get checked in somewhere with no insurance? I can’t do this anymore and we make too much for any assistance but I can’t fight anymore!

Original post.
Was told 200mg of progesterone and up to 400mg during luteal since I feel worse at that time. No estrogen because it’s like adding fuel to the fire. Said I would have to cope with the hot flashes because progesterone is the calming hormone.
Gave me supplements and told me to get my inflammation down and bring dopamine up by going outside early morning, grounding, breathing exercises, and ending showers in cold water!

This guy genuinely wants to help but seriously, Idk what to do anymore! I feel like this is going to end with me committing myself and I know I’m not crazy!

4 months ago I started having adrenaline rushes, heart racing, nightmares, hot flashes, internal trembling, depression, fear. I am 43 yr old female and have been having perimenopause symptoms. I was kicked from doctor to doctor and was told that it was anxiety even though I kept insisting it was starting in my body. I had bloodwork done and was told everything was fine including thyroid and antibodies.

I saw a FNP and had a dutch test done. I have perimenopausal levels of progesterone, lower end estradiol, almost flat daily cortisol pattern, 99% cortisol clearance of 10610 but 88 on 24 hour free cortisol. My total DHEA production is higher end with both of my testosterone pathways being high, but DHEA-s and testosterone are lower end.

I have neuro inflammation, low dopmaine, and oxadative stress.

He gave me some supplements. Put me back on 200mg of progesterone and 400mg during luteal, but said no estrogen and no testosterone. He then said lifestyle changes!

I was confused about the no estrogen since I'm having signs of needing it also. Everything gets worse in Luteal Phase. He said progesterone is calming and estrogen is activating. I feel like while I'm like this my body isn't going to absorb the progesterone anyway, its just going to get turned into cortisol because of how ramped up I am. I feel defeated because can lifestyle changes really help with those things? It's like something flipped overnight! I explained that the hot flashes wake me up and seem to be part of the nightmares also which he said was the neuroinflammation. While I agree something is going on in my body I just don’t see how progesterone only and going outside, and cold showers will help fix it all.

April 18th of this year at 4:50am changed my life. I wake up with adrenaline heart palpitations, fear, sweating, depression. I had been on 200mg of progesterone and 0.075 topical cream from Winona. It hit me like a Mac truck. I couldn’t leave my bed. I cry all the time and can’t do anything. I have kids and a husband and animals and responsibilities that I haven’t been able to take care of.
My husband thankfully can work from home most days. He’s exhausted and stressed. I make it maybe two days at home before I have to go to my moms so she can take care of me. She makes sure I eat shower and let me just hide in her bed. She lives in a quiet place because any noise causes an adrenaline rush and panic for me.

I’ve never been suicidal and spent thousands being told it’s anxiety. I assure you it isn’t normal anxiety. I have nerves left.
I wake up every morning with nightmares and instant doom. I’m coming up on 4 months
There is no amount of pushing through.

I saw a FNP and he did a Dutch test. My progesterone is post menopausal levels. I also have high cortisol and my testosterone is going down an inflammatory path.

He upped me to 400mg of progesterone and 0.075 patch. I want to d\*e every day so it will be over but I honestly don’t because I was fine and literally overnight everything changed.
I can’t find a mental health med that helps. They mostly make me feel worse.

I’m getting no relief and don’t know how much longer I can fight this! I know there are other women who are going through the same thing but it doesn’t offer me any comfort.

I really want this to end and just be able to wake up without already being filled full of fear!

I’m only 43 and feel I’ve been going through this since I was 36/37. I tried 2 years of mental health meds with no help. It was manageable and would come and go but now it’s persistent. I won’t survive another year of this let alone 10 or more. My mom and sisters had no issues with peri or menopause.

How do I stop wanting to d\*e ?