u/Hunting-fings

Ai, Dean, summoffabish, haz bean doin a deep fink awn allyums. Dis mai wai. Da moobie dis weak iz cloz cownterz ob furrd kynd. Ai neber seed dis moobie yit butt ai doin a fink bowt allyum cownterz.

Da kweschun iz…Iz allyums smort?

Ass-ump-shuns:

1. Allyums iz tell-a-gent. Dey trabbull rown unaberse

b. Tell-a-gent nawt sayme az smort. Meowmy sed herm no meny tell-a-gent hoomuns…doktours, pee hage dees, skooled hoomuns, butt wez awl no dey dum.

Ai fink dat awl da sumpshuns.

Naow wez hab da cownterz.

Furs dere iz da furs kyne (duh). Dis juss seein woofos. Erbody hab dis kyne. Dowan habba bee smort to bee seed.

Den da seggund kyne. Dis weer allyums leeb ebdense.
6. Dey eet innside cowes, leeb owsside. Dis smort cuz da gud yummy awn da innside.

iii. Fing hoomun cawl crop sirkle. Dis seam lik langwaj. Habbin langwaj is smort.

Dat brings iz tew fird kyne. Dis wut da moobie bowt. Dis wear allyums try tew comunikate wiff hoomuns. Dey maibee tawk rite in dems braynes. Owar dey mite wok up en sai hai! Wutebber. Deys tawkin tew HOOMUNS. Nawt catto owar frens runnin catto software owar eben skwirll collektib! No communikate wiff enny frens hoo awlredy tooked hoomun serbentz. Did bery, bery, bery nawt smort. Hwy too eben bover? Dey hoomun. Dey dum.

Kunlooshun: Allyums iz tell-a-gent, maibee kinna smort. Butt nawt smort az cattos en frens. Mite bee awlmoss smort az hoomuns. (Ai fink dat wut dey cawl oxxymooron)

Mi? Aimma gonna keep mai hat. Bad nuff hoomuns tawk at mi. Ai no need allyum jibrish.

Dean hab spoken. Yoos welkom.

Ai fite da allyums wiff mine saword!!

Gais! Ai moobin upz frum da shroos en meeses! Aiz gunna git da birbs!! Luk awl dem birbs!!!! Ai wool shar wiff frens.

Dean, summoffabish

Pspsps: ai fink yoo gott clik onna pishur tew sea da kool stuff

Cas needz da wurk on hims fitfayse.. but wez redy ta fite da ummm…..ump, emp, da bad gais hoos deffnitelee nawt ower pawthurs.

Frens. Sum furebers ago ai meow tew yoos bout Meowmy putz smoll soff bocks inna beeg soff kennul…den herm putz mine fud in dere. Sum ob yoo sai NO EETZ ET! Ai no eetz et. Butt den, meowmy kum wiff churu. Ai lubs da churu. Herm gib mi churu en pikmiup en putz mi inn smoll soff bocks. Iz oughkay…ai styll gittin churu.

Den! Den herm push mi dowen inna bock en closs et up! Wuddahek?!?!? Herm neber dood dis affur. Ai skreem en skreem en skrach skrach skrach at da bocks butt ai no kin git owt!

Herm putz mi inna vroom masheen en wez moobin…dis nawt natchrul. How ai bee moobin iffs ai nawt moobin?

Win herm fineullee stahp. Herm takted mi inna dis playse. Hab meeny doggos butt dey nawt mi doggo fren. En dere birbs dere en ai no kin do a chasenpownse.

Den affur meeny furebers wiff mi seeming da hole tyme….meowmy takted mi owt ob smoll soff bocks. Dere a nyse gai dere hoo gibbed mi skritches. Da laydee dere pokted mi elebenty-too tymes! Butt nawt in da borthole. Dey no bedda den tew muss wiff mine bort!

Win dat awl ober Meowmy putz mi back in smoll soff bocks, back in da unnatchrul vroom masheen en ai wuz homb. Ai gitted nuffer churu….butt styll trawmatyse.

Dis pishur mi, Dean, summoffabish, nawt abull ta kope wiff da wirl anniemoor.