I’m currently at a 4th of July party with friends but ever since I realized what I am I’ve been fighting to wait until I at least started doing something to show it. But now I’m several drinks in and want to scream it from the rooftops! How do I avoid forcing everyone in my conservative hometown to deepthroat the fact that I’m trans?
For most of my life growing up I kind of was just going through the motions. I had goals, but nothing beyond the immediate future. As I got older I realized that I had no real aspirations or dreams, and while I’ve discovered goals unrelated to the title it’s still felt very… meh. I recognized things as important and desirable but couldn’t feel any real drive to go for them and kind of just coasted in that direction. Recently I’ve realized that part of that daze and depression was just an overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t who I was meant to be, usually manifesting as self-loathing and trans-humanist ideas. But over the past few days, I’ve realized that I’m a trans masc lesbian, (ideally I will become a muscle mommy) and I’ve felt more energy and joy to pursue that than I have anything else that I can remember. I’m constantly looking up things to do, changes to make, places to visit, and it’s brought a feeling of elation that I’ve never felt before. I’m trying to go to bed right now but I just feel so elated that I’ve finally found myself that I can’t sleep and felt the need to post this. I’m still unhappy with my body as it is, but now I finally have a clear goal other than “get fit I guess”. Have other people gone through something similar? Is it normal for the very concept of knowing what you want to become to bring this much joy? Or am I just especially lucky?
Hello, currently 21 bi male. I am tall and very masculine currently, and while I don’t feel disgusted by my body very often or frustrated by the fact I have a dick, for a few years now I’ve frequently questioned my gender identity and sexuality, and I’m really not sure where to go from here. I frequently see beautiful women and wish I was more like them, especially lesbians, but is that just disappointment with patriarchy and the fact I’m a man and these beautiful women and confident women are unattainable for me, or is it gender dysphoria? I wonder if I could just be lonely and wish I was a more confident, happy person. I’ve struggled with ED and self harm in the past, so it doesn’t seem crazy to think it’s just wishing for a better life and dumping it on the people I ascribe that life to. Any advice would be appreciated, this is my first post ever and IDK the proper etiquette and whatnot.
Edit: was informed non-binary is still trans, am I either?