r/MTFButch

I recently got a job as a dishwasher at a local fancy restaurant and it's been going well!

The problem is that people do not know what to make of me. I'm non-binary, kinda. Idk. Sometimes I feel like a woman and sometimes I don't. But anyway, people at work are confused by this because they assumed I was a guy or some pretty boy, but yesterday, I wore a tank top, let my sports bra show a bit, and put my hair up. Suddenly, people were very aware that I am not a guy.

I wanna say it's because my breasts were a bit more outlined because my bra wasn't as tight as my other ones. Idk. But people weren't acting like they had earlier that week. People were offering to carry things for me, my fellow dishwasher was suddenly very awkward around me. It was all a bit strange... They also just kept asking if I was okay and near the end of my shift last night while I was locking up, my boss asked if I wanted a beer. Beforehand, he'd offered me a sandwich which I accepted, but I asked him to cut it in half and he sorta smiled at me and said "no need to be polite, you can have the whole thing. I won't judge you." (I just wanted half the sandwich because I was about to work 6 hours straight with no breaks and I did not want to do all that with a stomach ache.)

This has never happened. People were being extremely nice and idk why.

Anyway, I think people have realized that I'm not a guy and it's kinda hard for them to adjust to? Or they've adjusted and I'm just trying to adjust.

But! There is this extremely pretty woman at work that has been talking to me a lot and while I was walking out of work yesterday, she stopped me and was all smiling and shit while she told me that she'd been looking for me and asking me how my shift was.

I would love to be her friend, but I'm scared that she might think I'm a guy 😭😭😭. I don't look like a guy at all, I've been transitioning for nearly a year now and now I just look like a masc presenting woman/butch.

I think this is a universal butch experience, idk. I just thought it was funny.

the trans fems around me say im either "agp" or a "dude with boobs". i'm 6'3 and 240. I'm a fairly big girl with a monotone voice, i'm confident im a woman in a man's body. i've been on hrt for 3 years, had ffs, but still, the lack of any validation just kinda shreds me. have any other butch women here felt kinda of like...forced into a NB box due to not being "hyperfem"?

Help nothing works :( shaving, tinted cream, etc

Just introducing myself I guess. I'm MTX-ish, NB, was not really sure, but have an appointment to start feminizing HRT soon. I actually found this community from AI! I mentioned to I wanted to look "like a girl trying to look like a man" and it recommended this lil' corner of Reddit, making my first post on my trans identity! I've VERY tall and not into makeup and nails, so a girly-girl is out. I wasn't sure I wanted to come out to my parents (as an adult) but seeing all you folks really helped me realize I'm not a unicorn and not crazy and I can do this!

So thanks!

For most of my life growing up I kind of was just going through the motions. I had goals, but nothing beyond the immediate future. As I got older I realized that I had no real aspirations or dreams, and while I’ve discovered goals unrelated to the title it’s still felt very… meh. I recognized things as important and desirable but couldn’t feel any real drive to go for them and kind of just coasted in that direction. Recently I’ve realized that part of that daze and depression was just an overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t who I was meant to be, usually manifesting as self-loathing and trans-humanist ideas. But over the past few days, I’ve realized that I’m a trans masc lesbian, (ideally I will become a muscle mommy) and I’ve felt more energy and joy to pursue that than I have anything else that I can remember. I’m constantly looking up things to do, changes to make, places to visit, and it’s brought a feeling of elation that I’ve never felt before. I’m trying to go to bed right now but I just feel so elated that I’ve finally found myself that I can’t sleep and felt the need to post this. I’m still unhappy with my body as it is, but now I finally have a clear goal other than “get fit I guess”. Have other people gone through something similar? Is it normal for the very concept of knowing what you want to become to bring this much joy? Or am I just especially lucky?