u/IcyCatch7380

idk someone prob said this before somewhere but why the color purple? is it like supposed to be a mix of masc (blue) and fem (reddish/pink?)

Starting with the probable cause to why - I made a reservation at a nearby hospital to begin HRT but that requires an examination and a subsequent F64 approval and that might be driving me insane.

I am constantly spiraling through my past and present, actions and thoughts and whatever I can to satisfy this never ending itch that I prove that I really am trans? Doomscrolling through multiple places and resources to see if I check in every single box, if I am "trans enough" to really begin identifying as trans.

I have been ruminating over this for three days now and I'm sorry if I sound a little unhinged, I also do have some brainworms which aren't making things better, e.g fears that it's just AGP, or a porn addiction, or just adopting another "character" to feel special.

The issue is kind of rendered nonexistent if I stomach the 9 days until my appointment and get the approval smoothly but I just cannot take my mind off of it, it has been brewing for a little while under feelings I did not recognize at the time and really burst open this week and now I can't think of anything else.

I do want HRT, if that's all what matters, but I feel so much pressure that I have to like "prove" to the psychiatrist that I am really trans, and my country has mandatory conscription too so I don't want them to think that I'm a draft dodger too. I'm just so stressed out. What... do...?

Help.

"maybe they are going upload an alternate ending, or multiple endings to youtube!!!"

judge holden is actually a fantasy power trip self insert of samuel chamberlain

source is trust me bro