u/Ill-Efficiency294

I do express my anger but the issue is, I can't express it 24/7. I experience some level of anger or resentment almost every moment of every day. My friend says that she thinks it might be because I don't have hope and in general feel hopeless towards the terrible things happening in the world. I struggle to find justification for abuse that is constantly allowed to happen around the world. It makes me incredibly irritable around people and I get angry at good people who do not care or acknowledge the bad people in the world. The only time my anger, resentment and irritation turns off is if I'm on a small dose of shrooms and I can't constantly take them as it's exhausting in its own way. ​​

I get quite confused when I see people with the same conditions as me being able to get a higher education and an actual career. For me the reason I can't isn't a lack of intelligence or ability to learn as I really do excel if i have a hyper focus but my issue is that I have never ever been able to sustain anything. Not only that, my chronic low self esteem limits so many things in my life. Especially atm with my poor financial situation. If I have money, I can supplement my lack of self esteem in a way. I can afford to pay for services or help that otherwise I would not be able to do by myself due to cognitive dysfunction and intense fear. I keep being surrounded by high achievers who say they have adhd and I just don't see how it's possible. My friend says he thinks he has ADHD but is able to maintain a calendar and an alarm system on his phone helps him keep up with tasks and I'm sorry but how is that even possible. He'll give me all this advice that I've tried and I have to remind him that it simply does not work for me. It almost makes me feel like I have zero excuse to be this way. I'm honestly so tired of being this way, it's almost humiliating to exist in this way. I think what makes it worse is that I am very smart so there's even less of an excuse to not be able to do the things I ought to be doing for myself.

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It would comfort me to know if anyone has a similar experience with someone who isn't abusive and has had a very emotionally privileged life and if it also negatively affected you.

So I'm a bit too nervous to use much at all on my skin after microneedling so I'm wanting to keep it minimal. But I also want to help my skin heal as fast as possible. What is the best thing to use 24h after needling and when should I start using a moisturiser again? What moisturiser would have the least risk involved and is also healing? Should I just by a wound healing cream from the pharmacy or is that too thick?

Has anyone here tried it? What do you think of it?