u/IllustriousGreen6715

I wasnt planning on getting married anytime soon and I asked my mom to turn down rishtas for now. Then my 2nd cousin's proposal came and now Im so conflicted.

My mom seems eager about him. She tells me the whole unki bahu banna bari cheez hai narrative. Ive heard theyre a decent and nice family but I just can't get past certain things.

The biggest thing on my mind is the financial class difference. His family is comfortably upper class, they've always kinda been rich. We used to be in a similar bracket (though nowhere near them) when we lived abroad, but some financial setbacks happened because of my dad (who isn't in the picture anymore).

My mom has worked hard to keep our lifestyle and education consistent, so socially we're equal, but it's the income gap that's bothering me.

Honestly, ive heard too many stories of these crossclass marriages and girls never fully belonging. Idk if that applies here since our families are related but the anxiety is still very real. I'm scared i'll always be walking on eggshells or my family will be considered inferior due to the financial difference.

My mom has never pushed a rishta on me before, but this time I can tell it's different and I feel like this could ease the financial pressure she's been carrying (which is why I feel a bit guilty for hesitating).

About the guy, Ive only met him a few times before at dawats and he seemed nice.

His mom called mine like 2 months ago and since then we've talked, nothing very deep but he's respectful and socially smooth, kinda the polar opposite of my reserved self.

He's educated, works, and is fine with the women working thing aswell which is important for me. He even remembered small details from years ago which surprised me, but knowing him is different from marrying him.

I just can't fully look past the class factor. I only have a few weeks to give an answer bcs we don't want to waste anyone's time or drag this out.

Has anyone seen/been in similar situations or have any advice for what I should do? Does the class gap actually matter or am I overthinking this?

I wasnt planning on getting married anytime soon and I asked my mom to turn down rishtas for now. Then my 2nd cousin's proposal came and now Im so conflicted.

My mom seems eager about him. She tells me the whole unki bahu banna bari cheez hai narrative. Ive heard theyre a decent and nice family but I just can't get past certain things.

The biggest thing on my mind is the financial class difference. His family is comfortably upper class, they've always kinda been rich. We used to be in a similar bracket (though nowhere near them) when we lived abroad, but some financial setbacks happened because of my dad (who isn't in the picture anymore).

My mom has worked hard to keep our lifestyle and education consistent, so socially we're equal, but it's the income gap that's bothering me.

Honestly, ive heard too many stories of these crossclass marriages and girls never fully belonging. Idk if that applies here since our families are related but the anxiety is still very real. I'm scared i'll always be walking on eggshells or my family will be considered inferior due to the financial difference.

My mom has never pushed a rishta on me before, but this time I can tell it's different and I feel like this could ease the financial pressure she's been carrying (which is why I feel a bit guilty for hesitating).

About the guy, Ive only met him a few times before at dawats and he seemed nice.

His mom called mine like 2 months ago and since then we've talked, nothing very deep but he's respectful and socially smooth, kinda the polar opposite of my reserved self.

He's educated, works, and is fine with the women working thing aswell which is important for me. He even remembered small details from years ago which surprised me, but knowing him is different from marrying him.

I just can't fully look past the class factor. I only have a few weeks to give an answer bcs we don't want to waste anyone's time or drag this out.

Has anyone seen/been in similar situations or have any advice for what I should do? Does the class gap actually matter or am I overthinking this?

Ps. we're second cousins, not first!!

I wasnt planning on getting married anytime soon and I asked my mom to turn down rishtas for now. Then my 2nd cousin's proposal came and now Im so conflicted.

My mom seems eager about him. She tells me the whole unki bahu banna bari cheez hai narrative. Ive heard theyre a decent and nice family but I just can't get past certain things.

The biggest thing on my mind is the financial class difference. His family is comfortably upper class, they've always kinda been rich. We used to be in a similar bracket (though nowhere near them) when we lived abroad, but some financial setbacks happened because of my dad (who isn't in the picture anymore).

My mom has worked hard to keep our lifestyle and education consistent, so socially we're equal, but it's the income gap that's bothering me.

Honestly, ive heard too many stories of these crossclass marriages and girls never fully belonging. Idk if that applies here since our families are related but the anxiety is still very real. I'm scared i'll always be walking on eggshells or my family will be considered inferior due to the financial difference.

My mom has never pushed a rishta on me before, but this time I can tell it's different and I feel like this could ease the financial pressure she's been carrying (which is why I feel a bit guilty for hesitating).

About the guy, Ive only met him a few times before at dawats and he seemed nice.

His mom called mine like 2 months ago and since then we've talked, nothing very deep but he's respectful and socially smooth, kinda the polar opposite of my reserved self.

He's educated, works, and is fine with the women working thing aswell which is important for me. He even remembered small details from years ago which surprised me, but knowing him is different from marrying him.

I just can't fully look past the class factor. I only have a few weeks to give an answer bcs we don't want to waste anyone's time or drag this out.

Has anyone seen/been in similar situations or have any advice for what I should do? Does the class gap actually matter or am I overthinking this?

Ps. we're second cousins not first!!