r/PakistanMarriages

The parents have asked that the girl and guy should talk and it's better to get to know each other. Girl's family hasnt met up with the guy cause he's abroad. They did take the girl's number so the guy can contact. Haven't had contact yet. But the girl got to know from the person who introduced the families that the guy is completely dependent on his parents to make this decision for him. Which feels weird to the girl as she'd like someone who is interested in her.
The guy's family seems to have a really good bond with each other and the parents, like friends.
What are the reasons someone wouldn't wanna choose for themselves in today day and age? And is it a bad thing?

50 male (healthy and much young looking), married twice but both times I took them from Pakistan to USA, both turned out to be highest level feminists and after getting their USA citizenship left on to do “jobs” and live independence as I was labeled DAQYANOOSI and old fashioned - I wanted a peaceful home where the wife takes care of the household and focuses on both Deen and Dunya in a balance. One adult child in college. I have a business that passively gives me $25,000+ per month in USA.
CROSS ROADS: Should I marry a non Pakistani and stay in USA and keep myself in the rat race “or” move to Pakistan and live a luxurious life and mah be marry 1-2 or more wives and enjoy the life?

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hey everyone. 23f here (22, about to turn 23). tl;dr at the bottom.

about two years ago, my family had me “forcibly” engaged to my first cousin. “forcibly” in quotations, because although i was asked for my consent, i was also told i needed to present my answer that very night otherwise my phuppo’s family would retract the proposal. feeling the pressure, i said yes, then spent the next year crying to mother about how i could never marry this man. we talked, and i quickly realised our personalities and humour was completely incompatible.

still, i persevered, because i was always told that my father would never take a stand for me over his sister. eventually, the situation became worse, and tea spilled over to my dadi, who was then constantly in my business about why the two of us were no longer talking. my mother, afraid of how my dad would react if he were to find out all these complaints against me from her, finally told him the situation herself. he spoke to me once, heard me out, and then respectfully ended the engagement.

now, of course, prideful dadion ko ye baat hazam nhi hoti ke kiski itni jurrat ke unke banae hue rishte ko turwaya, and she started accusing me of having an “affair” in university, which wasn’t true at the time, but now i do like one of my classmates (22m).

when i told my mother, she was immediately terrified that my father is going to turn on us, and accuse my mother of lying/taking my side when this was happening all along. it wasn’t (it’s barely 6 months old), but that’s besides the point. so, now i have a man in mind that i like and actually want to marry, but my mother told me to “take it slow,” and wait until we graduate (in a month) and until he gets a govt job (in a year).

this is where the problem arises: if i wait a year and that man doesn’t pull through (because i also have to be realistic—a lot of men back out last minute after promises of marriage), i’d have wasted a perfectly good year where i could’ve found other matches, and my mom has ingrained it so deeply into my head that the older i get, the harder it is to find matches for women in pakistan.

my one, most sincere dua for the last 3 years has been for marriage. i want to be married. i want to experience sex and romance. call me a deviant, idc. i was always scared of being stuck in a loveless, passionless marriage to a rigid, traditional man who will make my life miserable. now that i finally have someone in mind who makes me desire marriage, my mother is afraid to bring it up to my dad because of my dadi.

the worst part of all this is i’ve developed a deep affection for this man. it would be so unfair if a year later my mother starts looking for other rishtas, and i’m unable to wholeheartedly invest myself into a new arranged partner because i didn’t get any time to move on.

i wish pakistani family culture wasn’t this toxic. i completely understand if this man isn’t meant to be my husband, but i would rather not live in this weird limbo where idek what to do. i just want my dad to meet and evaluate him quicker 🙁💔

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tl;dr: was entirely uninterested in marriage until i started liking someone, and although my mom has met and likes him too, she won’t do anything about it because my immediate relatives will lose their shit if they find out it’s a love marriage.

Hi Everyone!

Name: ABC

Age: 32

Gender: Male

Height: 5'6"

Education: A Levels / Started ACCA but dropped out after losing interest and focused on tech-related skills.

Profession: Manager at a marketing company, I also have some online projects I work on as a freelancer.

Weight: 102Kg... Yes, I know I'm on the heavier side but I'm working on it by watching my diet... I'm trying to find the time to work out too but right now I have a very busy schedule.

Father's Occupation: Retired

Mother's Occupation: Housewife

Siblings: 1 Sister

Sister's Occupation: Administrator at a well-known international school.

Sister's Marital Status: Divorced with 1 son

A little bit about me:

I'm from Lahore and I'm at the stage in my life that I've begun to feel very lonely despite having people around me.

I've been thinking about marriage and how I want someone to share my life with. I'm not looking for a typical marriage where both sides have crazy expectations.

I'm looking for a life partner, a person who I can share my life with, a person I can rely on, a person who I can share my heart with... And all of this goes both ways.

Basically, I'm looking for someone who is kind hearted, sweet, funny, likes to joke around and doesn't take everything too seriously.... We live once and we should enjoy life (in a reasonable manner).

I'm a very simple guy who likes to go out a lot... I'm a big foodie and I want someone in my life who enjoys exploring different things.

My hobbies include watching a lot of Netflix or any other series or movies... I'm into gaming too but lately not so much as I don't get a lot of time.

Requirements:

Age: 26-32

Height: Doesn't matter

Weight: Doesn't matter

Complexion: Doesn't matter

Education: Intermediate or at least O Levels

Job: Doesn't matter and I don't care if you want to work after marriage... That will be your own own choice.

Dressing: That's completely up to you how you dress.

Also, I don't care about cooking skills and don't expect my wife managing the home or taking care of my family. That's not her responsibility. My parents are my responsibility.

I value connection, understanding, and emotional attachment more than anything else and I believe these things are essential for a good marriage.

I'm looking for a wife, a life partner, not a roommate.

Family involvement within a week or two after establishing compatibility. Don't want to make it a thing unless we think that something's possible.

Lets say you are in an arranged marriage market , and you belong to middle class , or just around upper middle class or even upper class. Like you live in 10 marla or one kanal house in a decent area. You have a yaris or corrolla at home , went to good school in pakistan and got a degree.

The guy is 5 feet 11 , has head full of hair , never smoked , has a healthy body , but the guy is in his mid 30s

Lets say you came to know via social media or you assumed he has a strong physique from his looks , or some how the guy told you in a non awkward way that he can bench press 100 kilos for reps , this statistic puts him in the top 2 or 3 percent of men alone.

Would his physical strength attract you ?

Looks wise the guy is decent , has a well defined physique looks wise in clothes , broad shoulders. Income wise is also good/normal ( maybe 3 lakh in pakistan , but if he moves to middle east he has much higher earning potential ) , has 10 marla parents house and city or yaris car.

Would you consider him for a rishta in the arranged market ?

Genuine question for married people or those with life experience...

When getting to know a man for marriage, what should a woman actually observe besides the usual degree, salary and looks? How can I know him if we are texting each other?

What qualities matter long term? What habits or behaviours reveal someone’s real character? And what are some red flags people ignore in the beginning but regret later?

I feel like it’s easy for someone to appear nice for a few months, so how do you truly judge emotional maturity, kindness, patience, respect and deen in a person? 🌷

Are you getting rejected or confused because of too many options?

نام: اے بی سی عمر: 26 اونچائی: 5"2 مواد کی حیثیت: سنگل مذہب: اسلام فرقہ: سنی اہلیت کی تفصیلات تعلیم: آئی ٹی میں ڈپلومہ یونیورسٹی: کے یو ملازمت: نجی شعبے میں کام کرنا آمدنی: *_خاندانی تفصیلات_* والد کا نام: فہیم ہاشم والد کا پیشہ: کاروبار کا مالک بہن بھائی: 3 والدہ کا انتقال ہوگیا۔ مجھے ایک پرہیزگار، نیک دل اور نرم دل لڑکی چاہیے۔

Why is this still considered an issue in our society? Why is it an issue if one can look after the co-wife in the same way as the other one and do it while informing the first wife?

Females please share your thoughts about why you don't allow it to happen, especially if the man is decent, does not cheat and seeks your permission for it?

Height & Weight: 5ft 55kg FEMALE (sorry forgot to mention my gender 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Location: Karachi

Residence: Own

Education: O/A level and bachelors from a reputable university in Karachi

Income Source: marketer (remote)

Marital Status: Single, never engaged or married

Religion & Short Details About How Practicing You Are

Your religion and your level of practice:

Sunni muslim

Alhamdulillah i pray 5 daily prayers, pay zakat, keep all rozas, have done multiple umrahs. im not perfect but i try to stay firm on the path of Deen. I avoid all haram. I dress modestly but don’t observe hijab as yet (may Allah give me the hidayah for that level of commitment)

Hobbies & Interests

I’m a fun loving, easygoing person. On weekdays, I’m usually busy working and letting my creative side run wild. I genuinely enjoy what I do, so it kind of counts as a hobby too.

On weekends, you’ll usually find me hanging out with friends, whether that’s trying a new restaurant or just sitting at home, chatting over chai for hours.

I love spending time with my family, working out at the gym, travelling and eating spicy food. I also enjoy trying fun little activities every now and then, like all girls Zumba classes or one off workshops for things like cake decorating, painting etc

I’d like to think I’m funny, jolly, honest, sensitive and a good listener. Above all, I always try to keep my ikhlaq kind and respectful.

Family Details
My dad is a businessman and mums a home maker

Siblings: 2 (one elder sister, one younger brother)

Requirements/ qualities for a Partner
Age- 27- 33
Karachi based preferably (i love khi 🙈 but idm relocating to Lahore cus i have fam there)

- honest
- respectful
- loyal!!
- prays salah (thats the bare minimum)
- values religion
- avoids haram
- earns halal
- funny
- emotionally intelligent
- likes to travel
- can be a true friend/ partner
- can encourage me to be closer to God in a non imposing way
- isn’t controlling
- isn’t too open minded or too close minded either
- treats people with kindness and empathy (especially waiters, domestic staff etc. )
- is calm and does not have temper issues
- understanding
- stays tidy

Deal Breakers

- anger issues
- drinking
- self obsessed
- controlling/ imposing

Preferred Family Setup: nuclear

Do You Want Children?: Yes In Sha Allah

Timeframe for Marriage: 1 year

Hoping to find a halal companionship in its truest sense.

I’d love a relationship where we can genuinely be best friends, feel safe with each other and bring peace and comfort into one another’s lives.

Loyalty, respect, kindness and emotional maturity matter a lot to me. In today’s world, spiritually aware and religiously practicing like minded people can feel rare, so I’m hoping this leads to something meaningful, sincere and khair filled, InshaAllah.

And if things click, I’d prefer family involvement with good intentions and no unnecessary delays.

JazakAllah

​

Note: Kindly read the profile to its entirety and only reach out if you deem compatibility on all fronts, also send your FULL DEATILED PROFILE when messaging me -- Be open to moving off of reddit, trading pictures and having a phonecall from the get-go.. Thanks.

Ethnically Pakistani Punjabi - Canadian Citizen.

Aboyt 5'6 .. 26 (in afew months)

Accommodation: Own: Afew in Pakistan and 3 in Canada. Rented: 1 in Dubai.

Education: Culinary Arts.

Marital Status: Single (Never Married)

Religion: Sunni Muslim.. Moderate.

Caste: Rajput.

…………………………………....

My Family Background/Details:

Native to the potohar belt. Established and well-respected. Settled in Jhelum for 5–6 generations, with strong fuedal roots and agricultural landholdings in the surrounding region.

Father: MBBS Doctor with a distinguished United Nations career; currently heading a trauma department at a hospital abroad. Also engaged in land acquisition and construction ventures in Pakistan.

Mother: Deceased. Father remarried (housewife).

Sibling: One younger brother, pursuing education abroad.

Upper middle class, socially well-placed, and financially secure background.

………………………….........

Interests:

I’m a huge motorsports enthusiast — an avid karter and off-roader. I travel often too — 43 countries and counting — and I’m always up for an adventure.

I swim regularly, play padel, ski in the winters, love a good paintball session, and enjoy spending time at the gun range (and adding to my modest collection, I love customizing my toys..).

Not a party person — I’d much rather enjoy a nice lounge or a good dinner out.

I also love to cook and host — feeding people brings me so much joy. Hosting is one of my favorite hobbies, along with diving into creative projects like making artisanal handmade soaps, interior design, and construction.

...................................

Abit About What I Am Like/Looking For:

I’m looking for an emotionally mature partner—someone with depth, clarity, and the ability to form meaningful connections beyond surface-level conversation. I value emotional resonance early on and enjoy exploring how someone thinks, what shapes their perspectives, and how they reason. I enjoy a witty, dry sense of humor.

I admire emotional intelligence and street smarts more than academics. I’m supportive, affectionate, and deeply sincere. I believe in giving my best to my spouse, and I lean traditional, comfortable in a supportive role within marriage.

With my partner, I aim to be a source of peace and friendship. I value a mindset where responsibilities are shared with fairness and understanding. I come from a home where much of the household work is managed with help and would prefer that arrangement.

Communication is essential to me. problems should be discussed openly and resolved together, without ego or avoidance. It’s also important that my partner is well established and able to stand up for his wife in family matters, which do realistically arise, just as I would always stand by my husband socially and publicly. Basically-- mutual sukoon is my only objective for my life.. 😅

Want someone who is socially comfortable, open-minded, and fun to be around. I value having a shared social circle as a couple and appreciate a balanced mindset that’s not overly conservative.

I thrive on spontaneity and frequent travel.. love celebrating the small moments in life. I’m generous with my partner, and I’d love someone who enjoys life the same way.. No homebodies..

I prioritize self-care and being well dressed and would like a partner who does the same.

....................................

Seeking- Similar socio economic background. Preference for Doctor, Pilot, Lawyer, Army Personnel, CSS, Business Families, or Edcated Fuedal Background. (But open to others if everything else aligns). Taller than myself.

Preferred Age Range: 28–35 years. Established and financially independent, with the ability to support his family. Open to someone who is single or divorced.

Residence: Preferably Own

Kids: Yea-- to be discussed.

Preferred City: Open to relocation., kinda , to be discussed.

Preferred Family Setup: Nuclear.

Timeframe for Marriage: 1-1.5 yrs ish-- we can involve family as soon as we've established understanding, compatibility.

Again-- ONLY MESSAGE WITH YOUR PROFILE, A FAIR EXCHANGE KEEPS THE INTERACTION RELEVANT.