29F, surgical trainee

I am being forced to accept a proposal I am not interested in. My mother has been after my life this entire time, she has called over the family to our house twice so far without my consent and I was forced to sit and talk to them politely.

I have bawled my eyes but she won’t listen. I don’t know one bit about this person except his name and location. His side of the family is seems highly interested in us and despite me rebelling, my mother doesn’t care.

I am too scared of arranged settings, I have always wanted to find someone of my liking and marry at my own pace but due to my career plans, I wasn’t left w much time to explore my options.

How ELSE do I tell my own mother to understand me once. I’ve resisted her for so many years, now she’s just being ignorant and forceful.

Just too overwhelmed to think straight rn.

throwaway for obvious reasons NSFW, sorry in advance

me and my husband have known each other for years before marriage. never dated, but as we hit our 20s it was just kindof understood between us, and our families were happy with it too. we hung out a lot and attraction was always there. he wanted to date before nikkah but I said no. after nikkah he tried again, i said let's just wait for rukhsati

anyway few months in now and everything is great. no major arguments or issues except one thing which has been bothering me and i can't talk about this stuff with anyone tbh

our sex life is pretty active already, multiple times a week sometimes multiple times a day even, so it's not like I have low drive or an attraction issue or anytjing like that. im also not restrictive, im up for trying new stuff sometimes

but he wants more. he wants it to go on for longer, wants to switch things up multiple times even after I'm done, always wants to try something new, and he just doesn't get tired at all. but I feel sore after a point and it's physically uncomfortable afterwards

he's never said anything bad about it or made me feel bad because he’s a nice guy but its kinda obvious uska mood off hai lately. hes not angry or rude but just unsatisfied or frustrated I guess. and its nerve wracking because i dont have anything to address but i know its causing him discomfort

we never discussed any of this before marriage obviously. so we weren't aware of this issue. I didn't even think there would be one

ive heard of so many cases of dead bedrooms or guys ending up looking elsewhere because they're not satisfied, and that men are sexual creatures, their sexual needs are important and they can do stuff if unfulfilled (i know this is more an individual or cultural thing but, hes a guy of our culture so) I fully trust my husband and know he's not like that, but the anxiety still eats me up sometimes.

for context we both come from fairly liberal and educated backgrounds so it's not like we're shy or naive about this stuff but i still feel awkward in asking him upfront and idk if this is normal and perfectly okay or if it can raise concern

Ig im asking if anyone dealt with a drive difference like this? How is it handled.. does it end up becoming a long term issue or is it just something you live with? wld appreciate any insight

So I've a couple of questions.. Trying to navigate this process is..idk man. I think the majority of us doing it for the first time and trying to figure it out.. and honestly, abit out of our depths. (Sometimes I feel totally clueless, and sometimes the other person seems lost)..

What are your 1–2 non-negotiables when it comes to marriage or choosing a life partner?

Do you think those standards are helping you find the right person—or could they be making it harder to find “the one”?

And finally, what’s been the most challenging part of the search? What keeps feeling off, or what pattern have you noticed?

What cultural aspects do you find challenging when looking to settle down?

If you’re to self reflect, where do you feel you should change or adjust to find better harmony?

Share your thoughts respectfully—I’d love to hear different perspectives.. also, please mention your age and gender.

This wont be a typical post. Idk about others but I hate the idea of putting my whole identity details and limiting it to a catagory with labels, for strangers to see like a product. But I do want to look for someone now.

I'll describe just enough for anyone who might think we could align can text. I'm calm, emotionally intelligent, and try to keep my creative side alive even though I'm in IT which is a pretty dry field. Working on my faith(I'm sunni) and building my connection with Allah along the way. I'd like to get married within one to two years. I do have a stable job and doing fine career wise.

You may ask me any questions I'll answer it for you if its appropriate.

Age is 24, profession is DevOps Engineer, I'm single(never married). Education is BS CS. I'm from Faisalabad.

Hope this post goes through I think I've provided sufficient info.

I wasnt planning on getting married anytime soon and I asked my mom to turn down rishtas for now. Then my 2nd cousin's proposal came and now Im so conflicted.

My mom seems eager about him. She tells me the whole unki bahu banna bari cheez hai narrative. Ive heard theyre a decent and nice family but I just can't get past certain things.

The biggest thing on my mind is the financial class difference. His family is comfortably upper class, they've always kinda been rich. We used to be in a similar bracket (though nowhere near them) when we lived abroad, but some financial setbacks happened because of my dad (who isn't in the picture anymore).

My mom has worked hard to keep our lifestyle and education consistent, so socially we're equal, but it's the income gap that's bothering me.

Honestly, ive heard too many stories of these crossclass marriages and girls never fully belonging. Idk if that applies here since our families are related but the anxiety is still very real. I'm scared i'll always be walking on eggshells or my family will be considered inferior due to the financial difference.

My mom has never pushed a rishta on me before, but this time I can tell it's different and I feel like this could ease the financial pressure she's been carrying (which is why I feel a bit guilty for hesitating).

About the guy, Ive only met him a few times before at dawats and he seemed nice.

His mom called mine like 2 months ago and since then we've talked, nothing very deep but he's respectful and socially smooth, kinda the polar opposite of my reserved self.

He's educated, works, and is fine with the women working thing aswell which is important for me. He even remembered small details from years ago which surprised me, but knowing him is different from marrying him.

I just can't fully look past the class factor. I only have a few weeks to give an answer bcs we don't want to waste anyone's time or drag this out.

Has anyone seen/been in similar situations or have any advice for what I should do? Does the class gap actually matter or am I overthinking this?

Salam Everyone!

I never thought about this but here I'm my very first time posting about myself to find the girl for me.

I will provide basic details about myself:

Background: I'm from Faisalabad originally and have been living in Saudi Arabia since my early education.

Age: I'm 26 years old and around 176 cm tall.

Education: I came to pakistan and completed my bachelors degree in computer science and came back to Saudia right after completing that, I used to travel frequently back to Saudi even in summer and semester breaks.

Employment: It's been almost 3 years I'm working in Saudi since then and had been through multiple cybersecurity roles, currently I work as a senior cybersecurity engineer at one of the largest US based company present in Saudi.

Earning: I earn very well as per niche expertise and experience in different cybersecurity roles.

Family: My father passed away and my mother lives with all the siblings and keeps traveling. We are 5 siblings and all of them got married and I'm the youngest one, they are well settled around different countries (keeping private for now).

More About Me: I'm very stable in my life Alhamdullilah, I have limited friends who are with me since my childhood and I'm optimistic and very positive guy, who stays humble and calm throughout every situation in life, I started my professional journey from scratch and now I have reached to the point, where Allah has blessed me with everything I ever wished for (It was obviously all because of my parents prayers and Allah), I have seen the least and currently at the maximum and always be thankful to Allah.

I really focus on my growth and keeps doing different kind of security related trainings and courses/certifications which are really required for my personal and professional growth. I spend alot of time on training myself and improving to be better everytime.

My Likings: I frequently do gym and take care of my body very much, travel different countries, like to play video games, doing indoor and outdoor sports activities, watch movies in cinema, try alot of food from every place I go to and experience and enjoy the most I can.

Future Goals: I have two different tracks planned ahead where the first is I might keep working in Saudi and do my masters online and excel in my field.

Second track is that I might move to some country abroad and start my masters from one of the good universities and live there for a while and see how life goes (I'm willing to take my future wife with me, or invite her once I go and settle there in few months if she is not comfortable in the initial journey of moving to some new country, this can be discussed and then we can proceed accordingly.

What I'm looking for:
- the age of the girl should be around my age range older or younger is not an issue for me.
- she should be above 160 cm.
- has completed / in-progress some professional degree atleast bachelors.
- She should be caring, supportive and understading and willing to walk with me in every situation.
- If she is interested in working, I have no issues with it however I would appreciate if she gives more priority to family ahead, having kids and all that.
-I'm willing to support her in achieving her dreams, education and fulfill all her needs.
- I will respect her and family and so do I expect from her.

If someone things I match their expectation and requirements, please feel free to reach out or even I can involve my family as well.

This is my first post and please ignore something unsual has been said, thank all for your time.

Assalam O Alaikum,

Back again.

At this point, some of you are probably seeing my username and thinking:

>"Wait... wasn't this guy here before?"

Yes.

Twice.

Thank you for following the plot.

Welcome to Partner Search Saga: Episode III – Return of the Rishta.

The first post introduced the main character.

The second post expanded the storyline.

This third post is where the audience starts wondering why the series keeps getting renewed despite mediocre ratings.

For those who missed the previous episodes:

• Episode I: Maybe I'll meet someone here.
• Episode II: Maybe I just need a better post.
• Episode III: At this point, we're committed to the bit.

Fortunately, I'm a Chartered Accountant.

If multiple attempts were enough to discourage me, I would've chosen a different profession.

Most people hear "third attempt" and get worried.

CAs hear "third attempt" and think:

>"MashAllah, he's making excellent progress."

So consider this Version 3.0.

The original had review notes.

The second version had additional comments.

This version has cleared management review and is being issued before my family escalates the matter to the National Auntie Network.

For those unfamiliar, the National Auntie Network operates with:

• Unlimited manpower
• Nationwide coverage
• Aggressive follow-up procedures
• Questionable data privacy controls

Once activated, my biodata will spread through Pakistan faster than a WhatsApp rumor.

A little about me

• 29M
• Pakistani
• Based in Al Khobar, Saudi Arabia
• Chartered Accountant working at a Big 4 firm
• 170 cm (5'7") — putting this here in bold because we identified it as a key risk factor during the post-mortem review of Episodes I and II. Corrective action has been implemented in Version 3.0.

Professionally, I spend my days:

• Arguing with Excel
• Looking for documents that definitely existed yesterday
• Joining meetings that could've been emails
• Explaining why numbers should, in fact, add up

Alhamdulillah, life is good overall.

Stable career, good family, own all my teeth, no secret second family, and no criminal record that I've been informed of.

A little more about me:

• Easygoing and generally low-stress (except during busy season, then we don't know him)
• Family-oriented
• Decent sense of humor
• Somewhere between introvert and extrovert
• Can enjoy a fancy dinner or happily eat shawarma in a parking lot
• Enjoy travelling, good conversations, Reddit rabbit holes, and planning healthy habits that officially begin next Monday

I'd describe myself as:

>"Works as intended."

Looking for

Nothing overly specific.

Just someone who is:

• Kind
• Educated
• Emotionally mature
• Family-oriented
• Looking for something serious
• Capable of holding a conversation without treating replies like limited-edition collectibles

Location isn't a major issue. Pakistan or overseas is fine if we're compatible.

Also looking for someone with a reasonably compatible halal/haram ratio.

By that I mean someone who takes religion seriously, but won't turn our first conversation into a panel discussion on whether using a marriage subreddit is halal, haram, makrooh, or requires consultation with three scholars and a PowerPoint presentation.

Let's be honest.

We're all voluntarily on r/PakistanMarriages.

We've already arrived at the budget version of a halal dating app.

Let's not make things weird.

Not looking for perfection.

Life isn't LinkedIn and marriage isn't a hiring process.

Just hoping to find someone genuine, funny, reasonably normal, and interested in building something meaningful together.

If this sounds like your kind of chaos, feel free to DM with a bit about yourself.

P.S. If I don't reply immediately, I'm probably:

• Working
• Pretending to work
• Looking busy because someone important walked past

P.P.S. To the regular members of this subreddit:

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Some of you have probably seen all three posts and are now more invested in the outcome than I am.

If I suddenly disappear, either:

1. I got married.
2. The Auntie Network took over the engagement.
3. Management decided to pursue an alternative strategy.

If this attempt fails too, expect:

Partner Search Saga: Episode IV – A New Auntie

Coming soon to a subreddit near you.

I'm 32 years old, and I want to keep my location anonymous because people who know me will know it's me. I'm giving more information than most people in my life know about me, my profession & business. I would describe myself as a rather private person.

I'm an educator and entrepreneur. After working in education, I decided to take the leap and start my own business.

Alhamdulillah, it has grown to a team of thirty. This has given me the freedom to travel and work remotely. Right now, I'm working on some new startups and investing my money in some good companies.

Academically, I hold a Master's Degree and am currently pursuing postgraduate studies in Language and Culture, the field I'm truly passionate about and hope to continue into a PhD when I'm older. I have worked in socio-political research, and with many international organizations was well.

I love linguistics, speak several languages (English, Spanish and Arabic for more well known ones), and spend much of my time studying how language, culture, history, geography, and political thought shape the way people see the world. I'm also currently doing a course on security and foreign policy.

My education hasn't been limited to classrooms. Over the past few years I've lived in different countries, immersed myself in new cultures, and visited a few continents between covid and 2026. Learning Arabic systematically has also become an important part of my journey. I enjoy meaningful conversations about Islam, qur'an, hadith, fiqh, ideas, civilizations, travel, psychology, languages, and the human experience.

Islam is the foundation of my life. I've been seriously practicing for the past eight years and try to approach the religion through authentic evidence and recognized scholarship rather than personalities or opinions. Like everyone, I'm still learning and striving to improve. I really want to study Islam formally In sha Allah & I'm very connected with shuyookh & Islamic community in some countries that I have lived over the years.

Outside of work, I like to think that I'm a creative person. I write poetry, enjoy filmmaking, and appreciate art in many forms. I also love exploring new places, meeting people from different backgrounds, and understanding how societies function. I have lived in Asia, South America and Africa in the last few years.

As a husband, I hope to bring warmth, affection, laughter, and adventure into a marriage. I'm the type who enjoys playful banter, writing heartfelt letters, making geography-themed handmade cards , planning spontaneous trips, and creating a home filled with kindness and companionship.

I try to eat healthy, and workout and play sports, so I would like a physically healthy lifestyle. I wouldn't mind if my wife can't do so for health reasons, or things beyond her control.

I would like to describe myself as someone who is driven by challenges. I like to surround myself with people whom I think are smarter than me. I really like to find the next mountain to conquer, and to think about how I can do things that I would have believed are hard or impossible to do. I must note, that I do want my wife and kids to be rather relaxed, and not too preoccupied with my projects.

I do not get any satisfaction from other people knowing about my business or life. I'd rather keep the good stuff about my life low-key, if you catch my drift. These two years I've been to eight or nine countries, and been out of town for 60% of my time, but not many people know about it.

When I get married, I definitely want to be settled and don't want my family to be constantly on the move. I come from a Muslim country with a very good education system.

I'm looking for a practicing Muslima who is genuinely excited about building a marriage rooted in faith, friendship, and mutual growth. I would prefer someone who would prefer to be a traditional wife, and look forward to being a good wife & mother. Someone who is curious about life, enjoys learning, has a good sense of humor, wants a family, and is game to build a peaceful and loving home together.

I don't want my wife to stress about money, and I'd rather she works for passion, if she works. And she enjoys the fruit of my hardwork. Honestly, I'd rather my work be for my wife & kids.

It's not an obligation, but I would love it if a wife wants to help me in the administration of the business. I'm more about building relations with my team and my clients. I'd really appreciate some assistance on the organizational side of my projects.

I was married and I do not have kids with her. I want to be transparent about this from the get go.

I am not open to living in the West, especially US/Canada. I don't mind settling down in any Muslim country or somewhere in Asia, Turkey or Egypt. It is something I've been giving serious thought to, so I'm open to making my home with the right person, In Shaa Allah.

So if you (or someone you know) might be a match, please send me a profile. I'd also post variations of this on a few different subreddits.

Bismillah,

Sisters especially, I need to expose this disgusting trend happening in our rishta culture.

How many of you (or your friends/family) have married men who seemed normal during engagement but on the wedding night or honeymoon suddenly can't perform? Then the excuses start pouring in: I didn't know, It's stress, It will get better, Just pray more...

BROTHER PLEASE.

You are 28-35, watching porn daily, masturbating like it's a full-time job, and you want us to believe you "didn't know" you have Erectile Dysfunction?? You're lying straight to our faces while destroying a girl's life and future. These men are getting married knowing full well they have ED or severe performance issues but hide it because they want a young virgin bride to fix them or to cover their shame.

In arranged marriages they act all pious and shy, but the reality is many are impotent or half-men who can't satisfy their wives. Then the poor girl is trapped can't even speak about it because of izzat and family pressure. Meanwhile the guy’s mother says "beta thoda time do, sab theek ho jayega."

This is straight-up deception and haram. If you have ED, be honest before marriage instead of ruining someone's daughter. Stop lying and stop wasting women's youth and fertility.

Men of this sub: How many of you are guilty? Will you admit it or keep hiding behind "stress" and "InshaAllah"?

Sisters: Share your experiences (anonymously). How common is this fraud in Pakistani marriages? Has this happened to you or someone you know?

Well settled abroad but looking to shift back home permanently and wanting to see if I can find a good submissive housewife. No tantrums, no drama. Just love and maturity. Looking to grow old together on some beachside. Let’s make it happen!

Assalamualaikum / hello Reddit,

I am a 29-year-old Pakistani guy, and apparently I have reached the stage of life where family gatherings have turned into sprint planning sessions for my marriage.

Current status: unmarried.
Priority: high.
Assigned by: Ammi.
Deadline: “ab aur kitna wait karna hai?”

A little about me: I am a software engineer by profession, mostly working on backend/product development. I work remotely, which means I have been spared from daily traffic trauma and can hopefully use that saved energy to be more present for the right person.

So yes, I can debug production issues, attend meetings from home, and occasionally pretend that my “5-minute break” is not actually a chai and overthinking session.

On a serious note, I am career-focused, family-oriented, and trying to build a stable, meaningful life. I value respect, emotional maturity, good communication, deen, family values, and someone who understands that marriage is not just about vibes ,it is about patience, responsibility, compromise, and choosing each other even on difficult days.

Personality-wise, I would say I am calm, thoughtful, a little introverted at first, but comfortable once the conversation starts flowing. I like meaningful conversations, simple routines, learning, building things, improving myself, and occasionally overthinking life at 1 AM like a true desi software engineer.

What I am looking for:

Someone kind, emotionally mature, educated, family-oriented, and serious about marriage. A person who values deen and character, but also has a practical approach to life. Someone with whom there is mutual respect, comfort, and the ability to talk openly without turning every disagreement into a Supreme Court hearing.

I am not looking for perfection, because I am not perfect either. I am looking for compatibility, sincerity, and someone who wants to build a peaceful life together.

Bonus points if you believe chai + samosa or pakoray can solve at least 40% of life’s problems. The remaining 60% we can handle with communication, sabr, snacks, and maybe one honest conversation before assuming the worst.

If this sounds reasonable, feel free to DM. Families can be involved once both sides feel there is serious compatibility.

May Allah make it easy for everyone searching with sincere intentions.

(Disclaimer: this is a serious question with pure intention so don't take it negatively and only answer to the point)

So this question is for guys under 45,do you guys feel h\*rny,and feel the need to fulfil your needs,and do you guys regret working abroad far from your spouse?and do you guys regret that for earning money you can't even sleep with your spouse everyday(I'm not talking about emotional regret)

And if a guy wants to move to uae,and he can visit Pakistan for 5 days every 2 months atleast or maybe even every month for 5 days,what would you suggest him? should he move or not,and is he gonna have a regret in his heart or not?and after 30 does even a guy feel that h..ny and would five days every 2 months be enough for him or is he gonna regret it?

Yaar, maine kaafi time se ek cheez notice ki hai aur socha aaj aap logo se pooch hi loon.

Reddit par jitni bhi profiles, selfie threads, ya dps dekho... mujhe lagta hai yahan sirf do hi qisam ke log hain:

1. The Greek Gods/Goddesses:Jo itne khoobsurat hain ke lagta hai galti se Hollywood/Bollywood ki jagah Reddit par account bana liya. Absolute 10/10.

2. The Self-Deprecating Crew:Jo khud ko itna ugly bolte hain ke lagta hai bas dunya khatam ho chuki hai unke liye.

Mujhe sach batayein, kya iss dunya mein "average-looking" log khatam ho gaye hain? Wo log jo na toh bht haseen hain ke raste chalte log murr murr kar dekhein, aur na hi itne bure hain ke aaina dekh kar khud hee darr jayein. Just plain, normal, comfortable 5/10 ya 6/10.

Agar aap bhi iss extreme khoobsurati aur extreme ugliness ke beech wali state (the middle ground) mein kahin aate ho... toh please neeche comment karo taake mujhe sukoon mile ke main akela nahi hu yahan! 😂Rate your self. 👇👇👇 . . . ? /10

My mom is actively looking for rishta’s for me. I’ve given Muzz a try as well however I am not satisfied with the rishta’s coming around. Hence, here we are. So let’s give this a try.

Name: Batman
Age: 27
Height: 5’2”
City: Karachi, Pakistan

I’m someone who values kindness, sincerity, and a peaceful home. While I can be a little shy at first, I become very warm and comfortable once I get to know people. I enjoy meaningful conversations, spending quality time with family, and finding joy in the little things.

I have completed my masters from Thailand. (MBA)

I have a creative side and enjoy content creation. In my free time, I love reading mystery and crime novels, watching thought-provoking movies and TV shows, and learning about different cultures. I also have a fascination with astronomy and anything related to space. I enjoy trying different cuisines (especially Korean food) and appreciate a good cup of coffee.

I’ve been an only child for most of my life, so family means a great deal to me. I enjoy helping around the house and can cook the basics well enough (my mom is the real chef at home!), and I’m always happy to learn and improve. I’ve also spent the majority of my abroad.

My faith is an important part of my life, I don’t pray 5 times a day and I don’t do hijaab. However, I try my best to pray regularly and I try to be the best version of myself Islamic-ally and I’m looking for someone who values Islam, has good character, and believes in treating others with kindness and respect. More than perfection, I admire honesty, emotional maturity, and someone who communicates openly.

I’m hoping to build a marriage based on companionship, mutual respect, trust, laughter, and the intention of growing together through every stage of life.

Looking For

Age: 30–36
Height: 5’8”–6’0”

Emotionally mature, calm, patient, and understanding.
Consistent communicator who believes in addressing problems rather than avoiding them.

Financially stable and responsible.

Practices Islam sincerely and prioritizes his faith. Prays regularly. Kind, respectful, and knows how to treat his parents, my parents, and his spouse with love and dignity.

A smaller family setup is preferred. I’m looking for a nuclear family arrangement rather than a joint family system.

Someone who values his health and maintains an active lifestyle. I appreciate a person who enjoys staying fit, whether through sports, regular exercise, or simply taking good care of himself.

Someone who has a good sense of humour and doesn’t chalk up humour for badtameezi.

Someone who shows up, keeps his word, and understands that consistency is one of the strongest forms of care.

If you’re someone who’s settled abroad then that’s a big bonus. Otherwise it’s not really an issue.

Non-Negotiables

Does not drink alcohol.
Emotionally manipulative or narcissistic traits.
No habitual use of foul or abusive language.
No uncontrolled anger or abusive temperament.
Doesn’t think Batman is cool.

I believe physical attraction and compatibility are important for both individuals, so I’d appreciate mutual honesty in that regard.

After marriage, I’d like to focus on my home and family rather than pursuing a career outside the home. I’m not currently working.

If we feel our values align, the conversation flows naturally, and we build a genuine connection, I’d prefer to involve our families sooner rather than later.

May Allah bless everyone who is sincerely searching with righteous spouses and a marriage filled with love, mercy, and barakah. Ameen.

If you think our vibes would match kindly dm me your details with your picture if possible.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. We always talk about how love changes us, makes us softer, or teaches us how to care. But honestly? For me, it was grief.

​Love made me feel high, sometimes a bit selfish, and always wanting more. But grief? Grief absolutely broke my ego. It stripped away all the pretense and left me completely humbled. It taught me how fragile everything is, how deeply people can hurt, and how important it is to just be kind to everyone you meet, because you never know what heavy burden they are carrying.

​It completely rewired how I look at relationships and connections now. I don’t care about superficial things anymore; I just value genuine, peaceful energy.

​Has anyone else experienced this? Does grief change your perspective on life and love completely, or is it just me?

...

Assallam Aleikum, good people of Reddit. I put up my profile on a different sub a long time ago and had a very nice experience with this 'Reddit route'. I have learned so much in this spousal search, and the definition of 'naseeb' is a lot clearer. Alhamdulillah. Decided to give this sub a shot since the profiles here seem to be very genuine.

Here is a link to my previous post (just copied it all here):

https://www.reddit.com/r/PakistanRishta/comments/1p4s6hz/m_26_istanbulislamabad_looking_for_my_copilot_in/

Dear reader, I would appreciate it if you could read my dastaan thoroughly before approaching. I am sure my naseeb is out here, somewhere!

Strong preference for rishtas within drivable distances from Islamabad for logistical reasons. :)

...

Height & Weight: 6'0" | 82 kg | Athletic

Location: Born in Karachi | Raised in Islamabad | Currently settled in Istanbul

Residence: Living independently in Istanbul for over 3 years now (rented apartment)

Education: BSc in Aerospace Engineering from a top university in Turkey

Profession: Flight Dynamics Engineer at a leading Turkish defense company

Marital Status: Single, never engaged

Family Details:

• Urdu-speaking, educated, middle-class family settled in Islamabad (20+ years). We respect the caste system (for other families), but I am strictly against it being a barrier in the marriage search.
• Father worked in the Government, now a motivational speaker and visiting professor (somewhat known on YouTube lol).
• Mother is a housewife and an entrepreneur. She has run multiple businesses from home and currently manages a home-cuisine.
• My younger brother is at university, and my sister recently completed her A-Levels. So yeah, I am the eldest.

Religion (for the sake of finding The One, may Allah protect us from Ar-Riya):

• Muslim by choice, Alhamdulillah (Sunni, but not into sectarianism).
• Pray 5 times daily and actively studying the Deen (currently learning Arabic from Bayyinah TV and memorizing longer Surahs from the Qur’an).
• Recently went for Umrah by myself, and that experience somehow instilled in me this desire to get married. Plan to go regularly, Insha’Allah.
• My faith is my compass, guiding all my decisions in life.
• Seeking a partner with the same commitment to learning for the sake of Allah. Study-buddy scene?

Am I ready for marriage?

I waited until I was settled and disciplined enough. In the last 3 years, I learned to manage a house, pay the bills, and take responsibility. Along the way, I read books, listened to podcasts, and spoke to married couples to understand what makes a marriage thrive. For me, marriage is what the Qur’an calls it: a sacred contract and a source of Sakinah (tranquillity). I’m now ready to share that journey with the right partner, Insha’Allah. If this resonates with you, please bear with me on this seemingly never-ending post.

What Makes Me, Me?

• Three things I value most are family, health, and time. I’m very close to my family, and I hope to raise children who are practicing, loving, and kind. Since we grew up away from extended family, we are close-knit and have no experience with family drama, lol. I also try to use time wisely. It’s one thing we can’t get back. And I eat healthy and stay fit by regularly going to the gym.
• Studious and ambitious by nature. Pedaishi overachiever, but not the kind who gets arrogant. Alhamdulillah, I worked hard throughout my school years (straight A*s in O’ & A’ Levels), and was later blessed to graduate as valedictorian from my university. Participated in competitions such as the International Mathematics Olympiad, NASA Space Apps, etc. I also used to do MUNs so we could have great debates, haha. I mention all of this dastaan not to boast or apply for a job (I promise!), but to demonstrate that discipline and focus are things I carry in my career and everyday life.
• Personality type. I have taken personality tests over the years, and I end up in either INFJ or INTJ. I have the problem-solving instinct, I prefer quiet time alone when I am down, and I love to have deep intellectual discussions with the people I genuinely care about. At the same time, I feel deeply for others' suffering, and somehow everyone ends up ranting to me and taking my advice whenever they run into trouble lol. I value communication and have been told I’m an excellent listener and good at navigating difficult discussions. Generally considered a mature and responsible guy in my circles. I don’t remember the last time I raised my voice or got angry. Oh, and most importantly, people say that I am straightforward and honest.
• Values. I’ve volunteered in charities since my teenage years and continue to support causes financially. I don't smoke, consume alcohol, or do drugs. I also keep respectful boundaries with women (no past relationships, Alhamdullilah).
• Lifestyle. Love dressing up and collecting perfumes. I am the kind of person who would show up at a friend's gathering at a dhaaba wearing a suit, lol. Most of the gifts I receive are perfumes. :)

Hobbies:

• Travel & adventure. Travelled extensively across Turkey and its neighbouring countries (probably over 100 cities so far). Tried fun stuff like skiing, scuba diving, hitch-hiking cross-country, and I look forward to paragliding soon. Oh, and an avid hiker (pretty much did all the treks around Islamabad and beyond). Gathered many stories to share with my wife and kids one day, Insha’Allah. My camping bag is always ready. You might need one too if we hit it off here!
• Reading. Grew up in a family of book lovers, so I keep a modest library in my apartment. I enjoy philosophy, history, politics, self-help, religion, and the classics. Nothing better than chai with a good book!
• Cooking & hosting. Can attempt everything from Maggi noodles to biryani, karahi, and nihari. I enjoy feeding friends and hosting.
• Fitness & sports. Love playing cricket, football, badminton (favourite), table tennis, and chess (studying currently). These days, I mostly go to the gym and sometimes swim due to my working hours. Alhamdulillah, people say I’m in good shape.
• Photography. Enjoy capturing architecture and landscapes. My friends say I’m their go-to photographer for ‘candids’. I used to make travel vlogs to highlight my adventures, but I stopped using social media over a year ago.

Why I could be a mismatch for some:

• Work ethic. My working hours can be INTENSE, but I still make time to study Arabic, travel, and keep learning. I want a spouse who understands this. I’ll prioritize my relationship and be emotionally available, but I also value space for growth. Looking for someone who knows how to stay busy and is okay with my ambitious nature. I will support her growth and space the same way.
• Down-to-Earth. Alhamdulillah, I live a comfortable life, but I keep it simple. I prefer simplicity over extravagance. If I earn more money than I can spend, I invest some and give the rest in charity. I also support my family whenever required (I would want my spouse to be respectful of that). But it goes without saying that I will support my wife financially (it is my obligation).
• Strong stances when it comes to some desi cultural nuances. I have taken it as a mission in life to differentiate between culture and religion. I respect our beautiful traditions, but I refuse to follow the cultural norms when they go against religion. This pertains to the desi marriage culture in particular.

Future Plans:

• Insha’Allah, I plan to start my Master's this year while working in my current job. In the near future, I do plan to pursue a PhD, Bi’idhnillah, which may involve relocating.
• For now, I’m focused on developing myself as an engineer and continuing my studies in religion.
• I don’t plan to return to Pakistan immediately, though Insha’Allah one day, I hope to contribute meaningfully when the time is right.

What I’m Looking For:

• A Muslimah by choice (Sunni muslim), proud of her faith, with Taqwa at the center of her life. Someone who observes hijab, is committed to learning, and wants to share life’s highs and lows with respect and understanding.
• Preferably between 21 and 25 years of age.
• Family-oriented, yet I am supportive of her growth, whether it be studies or pursuing her passion, as long as family remains the priority. I would prefer if my spouse is flexible in her work (remote for instance) and can adapt to moving to other countries. Also, I wouldn't prefer a long-distance relationship for extended periods.
• Someone studious, intellectual, and self-aware. I am a bit of a sapio-romantic, if you may.
• Physical attraction and fitness are important to me. I think there should be that spark and compatibility, especially in the initial stages of marriage. It was interesting to learn that our religion also endorses this (refer to ahadith). I would also want my spouse to be attracted to me. I am not considered bad-looking either, hehe. That being said, I believe true beauty is rooted in Taqwa and character.
• This one might sound shallow, but I do have a height preference (>= 5'5").
• 10 points to Gryffindor if you are based in Islamabad or Rawalpindi, so my mom can easily meet your mom early on, haha.
• 100 points more if you also belong to a small nuclear family like mine so the marriage decision-making process is easier.

Deal Breakers

• Not willing to practice or grow in the deen. I would like for us to grow together.
• Not wanting children. I hope to raise a practicing family, Insha’Allah, and this is central to my vision of marriage.
• Chasing a lavish lifestyle or lacking gratitude. I value modesty and contentment, as I mentioned.
• Completely unwilling to relocate in the future. I plan to pursue higher studies and career opportunities abroad, and would prefer a spouse who is ready to adapt to these changes with me.
• Do NOT approach me if your parents are unaware that you're looking for a spouse online or if they don't respect your right to choose a spouse. This might sound harsh, but months on this platform have taught me this the hard way. It will save us both time and energy. :)

Do You Want Children?

Absolutely, Insha’Allah. However, not straight away after marriage, and with mutual understanding.

Family Setup: 

Nuclear (abroad). I don’t prefer the permanent joint-family system unless it’s unavoidable.

Timeframe for Marriage: 

I would like to get nikkahfied by the end of this year, Insha’Allah. Also, I don’t intend to talk for more than is necessary. If it works out on our end and the families are convinced, we can get engaged soon after. I prefer a simple Nikah and Walimah in line with our religion (if the other party agrees). Marriage is meant to be an easy process in our religion...Let’s make it that way together?

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If you’ve read this far, thank you for your patience. I can imagine this was a bit too much, but it helps us both filter each other easily. I’ll delete this post if I finalize things with someone, so if you see this and you’ve resonated, please reach out with a detailed profile so I can respond meaningfully and consider talking further. I would also appreciate it if we could exchange pictures once we’ve chatted a bit to see if we're compatible, Insha’Allah.

My only request is to keep this process respectful and purposeful. I received some messages last time for ‘casual chatting’ or hanging out. My intention here is marriage-only. Finally, I would appreciate your patience if I take a while to respond. I can get caught up at work, and tbh I was overwhelmed by the responses last time. I won’t ghost anyone, dw.

May Allah make this journey easy for all of us. These are trying times, but Insha’Allah, with sincerity and effort, He will guide us to what’s best. 🤲🏻

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TL;DR: Parh lo bhai, poori zindagi ka sawaal hai. :)