u/Im_an_angel7

Pata hai aaj kya hua!

Since my last post, I’ve gotten over 50 DMs asking for an update. I really didn’t have any until now. So here it is because I think it’s update worthy.

I did attend the haldi function. Thankfully, I didn’t cross paths with either that guy or his parents and I stayed for barely an hour before leaving.

My mom returned that evening and I told her everything. She said she’d think properly before deciding whether we should attend the wedding. Eventually, it was decided that only my parents would go. She didn’t force me at all.

The wedding was on 15th. My mom gave Nani an excuse on my behalf for not attending. But she also spoke to her friend(that guy’s mom) and told her that her son’s comment was disrespectful and that both she and her husband not correcting him in that moment was equally disappointing. Of course, she said it politely keeping in mind that they’ve been childhood friends.

I don’t know what discussions happened in their family after that.

But yesterday evening, his mom called mine and asked her to pass it to me. Her exact words were that they were genuinely sorry, that they realized the comment must have felt very disrespectful, and that her son was acting out of character and they couldn’t process it immediately at that moment, that they should've corrected him anyway. I honestly don't believe her words because my mom still does 👀 this to me to shut my mouth in public.

And honestly… I just awkwardly said, “It’s okay, aunty… it’s alright,” and couldn’t really say much more than that.

Then just a few minutes back..I got this ig dm from that guy himself.

Of course, I ignored it and was not planning to respond initially...but now I'm thinking it over.

Also, I hope the mods let me post screenshots of his texts in the comments, because if not, this post is going to get too long.

*Update*…

As I mentioned before, this guy’s family’s relatives live extremely close to our house... so close that I can literally see their house from my window across the road.

The wedding they came for is of his mom’s cousin. Let’s call him X. X’s mother and my mom are also very close and I’ve met her a few times before. She’s genuinely one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met. The first time we met, she asked me to call her “Nani.” Every time she sees me, she makes me sit on her lap even though I’m 25. She absolutely adores me.

Yesterday was their mehendi and sangeet function but I didn’t attend because of what happened the previous day with this guy and his family.

Last night just when I was about to sleep, I suddenly got a call from Nani asking why I hadn’t come. I obviously lied and told her something important had come up. But she kept insisting that I attend today’s haldi function.

I genuinely didn’t want to go because I really didn’t want to see that guy or his family again after the “good maid” comment. But Nani insisted so much that I finally agreed. Honestly, the only reason I agreed was because, in the middle of all the chaos of her son’s wedding, she still took the time to personally call and ask for me again and again.

So now I’m stuck in a situation where I’ll most likely have to attend the haldi today and probably the wedding tomorrow too.

At this point, I’m just planning to avoid that family as much as possible. But if I end up running into that guy again, I honestly want to return the insult somehow. Not necessarily by bringing up the maid comment directly, but with something equally disrespectful and humbling.

Pata hai aaj kya hua

Pata hai aaj kya hua! This is going to be a long story because I don’t want to skip any details.

For context: this guy is my mom’s friend’s son. They live in a different state. I used to have a little crush on him before this incident.

The day before yesterday, his mom and mine were talking over a call and his mom mentioned that her cousin’s wedding was in 4 days. They were arriving yesterday. Later, my mom found out that their relatives’ place was already overcrowded and couldn’t comfortably accommodate this family, since they were arriving late. So my mom insisted that they stay at our place for one night because our house is close to her cousin’s place.

But yesterday, my mom had to suddenly leave for a work trip.

I won’t lie...I was a little excited that this guy was going to stay at our place.

They came, and my dad and I did our best to make them feel at home.

Another context: since both my parents were working...all 4 of us including my elder brother, developed the habit of waking up early. Most days, it’s around 3:30 or 4:00 AM and even on off days, it’s usually 5:00 AM unless someone is sick. We also do household chores ourselves... sweeping, mopping, dishes, everything. My parents taught both of us from childhood to be self sufficient.

(Except when my brother occasionally develops “raja beta syndrome.”)

So this morning, my dad and I woke up early.. around 3:30 AM because we had guests at home. Since they were sleeping, we tried to do the chores as quietly as possible. My dad washed the dishes from last night and made breakfast while I swept and mopped the floors, which obviously involved crouching and moving around a lot. By the time we finished, it was already 5.

They woke up around 6 and we all had breakfast together.

While my dad was talking to his parents, this guy suddenly smirked and said,

“You’d make a good maid.”

I was stunned.

I literally froze for a few seconds because I genuinely didn’t understand what he meant at first. When I asked him what he meant, he explained that he had woken up around 4.30 to use the bathroom and saw me cleaning.

The moment I realized what he meant, I wanted to slap him.

This is a 27 year old man who lives alone for work, has a maid hired for household chores, and somehow thought it was okay to make such a comment just because he saw me cleaning my own house. According to him, I gave off the same vibe as the maid he has hired at his place.

What made it even more infuriating was that his parents were stifling their laughter instead of correcting him or intervening. My dad glared at him but stayed quiet because he didn’t want to create unnecessary conflict with guests.

I couldn’t respond immediately because I was genuinely shocked. But when they were leaving, I told him that I took his words as a compliment rather than an insult.

And that shameless idiot smirked at that too.

I genuinely want to know what kind of entitlement makes someone think they can casually make a comment like that and not even acknowledge how disrespectful it is.

Of course, his parents are equally responsible. If the upbringing had been right, they wouldn’t have been suppressing laughter...they would’ve corrected him immediately.

Also, the relatives whose wedding they came for...invited us too. But I’m not going. My dad is reluctant as well. We’ll tell my mom everything once she returns and she can decide for herself if she still wants to attend.

And honestly, I hope this guy somehow comes across this post and realizes what kind of "S..UTIYA" he really is.

My elder brother doesn’t live at home with us. **I do**. But somehow, she remembers his food preferences and allergies forever and when it comes to me, she suddenly forgets that I’m allergic to something. She’ll ask in confusion, “You’re not going to eat it? I remember you eating it a while ago.”

Like… how? How can you forget that your daughter is allergic to mushrooms, yet remember that your son is allergic to prawns?

Whenever I complain, she doesn’t acknowledge it. She just ignores it. Last time, I literally cried because the negligence felt too overwhelming. And now, once again, she asked if I’m going to eat mushrooms for lunch. I’m barely holding back my tears while typing this.

It’s not just this one incident either. I’ve noticed things like this my whole life.

I don’t want to sound entitled by putting these thoughts into words. But I do everything for her, everything I can and that i think will ease her burden.

I used to remember her preferences, keep things aside for her, and sometimes even pretend not to like certain foods so she could have them without worrying. But her negligence has been hurting too much lately, so I’ve decided not to do those things anymore.

And whenever I try to communicate how I feel, she dismisses it by saying that I overthink, overanalyze, or misunderstand her intentions or I'm trying to pick a fight.

Okay, I understand that I could misunderstand something if it happened once or twice. But when it keeps happening repeatedly...even after I’ve said countless times that I feel neglected and hurt and she still doesn’t try to change anything, what am I supposed to think?

She says I’m jealous of my brother. But honestly, it’s her behavior that makes the difference so obvious. She treats her son like a “raja beta” and me like a “naukrani.”

I know a lot of girls feel this way and experience things like this every day. How do you guys overcome these feelings? Does it still hurt after you grow up and get married?

The thing is, when we started dating, I explicitly told him that 30 is the age when I would consider getting married. He agreed to that back then. Also, I never necessarily want a biological child myself. To put it clearly, I want to get married only when I feel like I can handle the responsibilities that come with it, and I want to have a child only when I feel like I can truly make that child happy.

All of this was clear from my side when we first started dating 3 years ago.

Now, his mother is pressuring him to get married before he turns 27.

And here comes the real issue..I’m not earning well yet. I can barely afford my skincare with what I earn, which mostly comes from freelancing while I'm preparing for higher studies. He isn’t earning well either. His family of 4 depends solely on him. The money he gives to his father every month gets spent mindlessly, mostly through lending it to people without any proof.

The situation in his house is so bad that if he wants to eat something good for 3–4 days straight, it ends up causing arguments with his mother. He also has a younger sister, and her future depends heavily on his income.

On top of all this, he now says he wants a stay-at-home wife and expects me to be that person...to take care of his parents in their village, because they refuse to leave the village and stay anywhere else.

After realizing all this, I told him it would be better to break up now since our goals are clearly not the same. That’s when the manipulation started. He doesn’t want to break up. He says he’ll “adjust,” but then subtly shows how exhausting and painful the thought of these compromises are for him. And despite constantly complaining about those compromises, he still refuses to let go.

It’s an endless loop of arguments, emotional breakdowns, him crying about how he won’t survive without me, and then complaining again about the compromises he has to make.

I’m trying to get out of it. It’s just exhausting.