Is poetry sharing accepted on this sub? poetry about being a closeted transfem :3
To my therapist
Today, on the evening of a Saturday,
another dark period has began to shape.
A couple of things that I want to say:
first, I noticed that I always realize when a
dark period starts, but never when it dies;
second, this time I paid close attention
and I think I know what has happened:
I’m in Germany right now with my grandparents,
and amongst the various things that we do together,
theatre is one of the big headers.
Tonight, a pretty young woman was sitting to my
right, maybe twenty, maybe thirty, with beautiful
eyes, wavy hair on her shoulders, and her makeup was
light, but flawless, making her shine, in a
black top with a high neckline similar to
mine, and a beautiful skirt that covered her
thighs all the way down to some heels I really
liked. Do you think it’s a coincidence?
I remember every single detail in an instant,
most of which I haven’t even mentioned. Were I a
painter I would paint her portrait, it’d be
gorgeous, better than the original, perfect.
if only I knew how to paint.
Every time my gaze fell on her face,
I felt incredible pain. poor
thing. It’s not her fault, but I struggled to
focus on the show, and I kept looking back at
her, only to quickly look away.
No, I wasn’t feeling hate; it was emptiness, she had emptied
out all my happiness. felt like being a
boy had destroyed all the joy leaving only a
void, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
Those were three long hours. And
now everything I think about is tainted
by a heavy pain in which I’m suffocating. I’m
nervous, sad, and I’m feeling anxious
‘cause I don’t want to die, but I won’t deny that I’m thinking
bout suicide, I hope to survive.
I wonder how long won’t I fall asleep tonight.
Have a good Tuesday, bye!
A dark period
starts when the individual
is reminded of their
cause of suffering.
It is defined by
sentiments such as overall
sadness,
hopelessness towards happiness ,
fear of the future, an
overwhelming amount of
thoughts and desires
that shut down their mind’s
capability to think
clearly about their condition.