u/Imaginary-Treat-8607

I've questioned my sexuality on and off for years. Looking back, I can remember multiple girls throughout my life that I thought were really cute or felt drawn to, including a friend I dated briefly in middle school. As I've become more open to the possibility that I like women, more and more memories have started making sense.

In my relationships with men, something always felt off. I often preferred talking over kissing, struggled to feel physically attracted to them, and felt more relieved than heartbroken when those relationships ended. I can barely describe a type in men, but I have a very clear type in women.

The more I've accepted that I might be a lesbian, the happier and more excited I feel about the idea of dating women. Watching women in romantic relationships feels natural to me, and imagining a future with a woman feels much more exciting than imagining one with a man. At the same time, part of me still worries, "What if I'm wrong?" and I wonder if anyone else struggled to fully accept they were a lesbian, even after it seemed to make sense.

I've been reflecting on my sexuality for a while now, and over the past few weeks, a lot of memories have started making sense in hindsight. I'm not asking anyone to tell me what my sexuality is—I know only I can figure that out. I'm mostly curious whether other lesbians had similar experiences.
Some of the things I've realized:
I've questioned whether I like women on and off for years, especially around Pride Month.
In middle school, one of my friends came out to me. I realized I liked her, and we dated for a couple of months.
Looking back, there were multiple girls throughout middle school, high school, and college that I remember thinking were really cute. As I've become more open to the possibility that I like women, I've noticed even more women that I'm attracted to.
There were several girls throughout my life that I found myself thinking about a lot or feeling drawn to, even if I didn't recognize those feelings as crushes at the time.
I remember trying to find one girl's social media because I thought she was really cute and wanted to know more about her.
In high school, my best friend asked me to go to a dance with her, and I remember wondering whether we were going as friends or whether she liked me.
When I made dating app profiles, I secretly included that I was interested in women too. I also always struggled with the sexuality question.
Whenever my mom talked about me dating guys, I often found myself thinking, "What if I don't actually like guys?"
In relationships with men, I usually wanted to just sit and talk instead of kiss. I often felt like something was missing.
My relationships with men have usually ended after a few months because something just didn't feel right.
I can barely describe a type in men, but I can describe my type in women immediately.
The more I've accepted the possibility that I like women, the happier I feel. I get excited thinking about dating women in a way I don't remember feeling about dating men.
Recently I've realized I'm actually comfortable with the idea of never dating a man again, and that realization has brought me a surprising sense of peace.
Did anyone else have a similar experience of gradually realizing they didn't actually want to date men anymore? Was that part of realizing you were a lesbian, or did it happen after you already knew?
I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

• I've questioned whether I like women on and off for years, especially around Pride Month.
• In middle school, one of my friends came out to me. I realized I liked her, and we dated for a couple of months.
• Looking back, there were multiple girls throughout middle school, high school, and college that I remember thinking were really cute. As I've become more open to the possibility that I like women, I've noticed more and more women that I'm attracted to.
• There were several girls throughout my life that I found myself thinking about a lot or feeling drawn to, even if I didn't recognize those feelings as possible crushes at the time.
• In high school, my best friend asked me to go to a dance with her. I remember wondering whether we were going as friends or whether she liked me.
• During previous relationships with men, I often found myself wanting to just sit on the couch and talk instead of kissing. I remember wondering why we couldn't just spend time talking because that was what I genuinely wanted.
• During my relationship with my most recent boyfriend, I realized I often described him by his personality (smart, hardworking, etc.) rather than thinking about how physically attractive he was.
• I remember thinking during that relationship that it was the first time I had really admired someone. However, I also later realized I often didn't want to spend time together, sometimes felt like I was making plans because I thought I should, and ultimately felt relieved after the relationship ended. I didn't cry after we broke up.
• There were relationship issues too—he sometimes made me feel stupid or bad about myself.
• During intimacy, I felt uncomfortable taking my shirt off even though he was comfortable doing so.
• After we broke up, I mostly felt relief rather than regret. One of my first thoughts later that day was, "I made the right choice."
• Relationships with men have tended to end after around three months because something no longer felt right.
• I don't find it easy to describe a physical "type" in men. If asked, I mostly say tall, cares about school, and then I'm not really sure.
• I can describe my type in women very clearly: taller than me, short (chin- or ear-length) hair, athletic, cute style, looks strong, outgoing, outdoorsy, confident, funny, and cares about school.
• The more I've accepted the possibility that I like women, the more I've noticed when I think women are attractive, and the clearer my type has become.
• Every time I think about liking women, I usually smile and feel excited.
• I'm genuinely excited about the idea of meeting women and seeing where things could go. I feel much more excited imagining dating women than I remember feeling about dating men.
• Watching women kiss in TV shows sometimes gives me butterflies. I often find myself wanting that kind of relationship for myself.
• I've had dreams involving both men and women. After one dream about having a crush on a woman, I woke up thinking, "Wow, that is so me." After a dream about having sex with a man, my reaction was, "Wait... I thought I liked women?" I understand dreams don't necessarily reflect sexual orientation.
• At the same time, I'm scared of the unknown and sometimes worry, "What if I'm wrong?"
• I've wondered whether I dated men because that felt like the expected path rather than because it was what I genuinely wanted, but I'm also aware that my previous relationship had real problems that could have influenced how I felt.

please give me advice 🙏🙏🙏