u/ImaginaryField1428

Hello, 28 yo male here.

I'm stuck. I need someone to tell me what's wrong with me, so I can change it.

I'm caught in addiction to porn and weed. I think this helps me to escape responsibility, and keep me in comfort. I had so many opportunities in my early twenties. But I stayed in comfort and watched them all slowly slip away.

S* ideation is getting stronger, the more I isolate and distance from the world. I don't have much of a friendship group at the moment, because I felt really hurt by some of the disrespect that I percieved. I'm a good looking guy, and away from porn and weed, I can feel incredible, and get on with people really well. But I can't seem to start.

I have a job in hospitality, which is what I've been doing since I was 19. I've lost many many jobs due to my addictions, because, when I relapse hard, I tend to avoid my life and skip out on work. I want to be a better man, but everytime I've tried so far, and difficulty hits, I hit the fuck it button and act out on my addictive behaviours, and lose everything that I'd built.

I have tried to get well before, and last year, was sober for a few months, engaging in crossfit and jiu jitsu. I was starting to get my life back. Then stressors hit and I found myself back in the hole. I haven't truly gotten out since. But in those moments, my brothers are inspired, my relationships are solid and romantic opportunities are rife and exciting. Why can't I just stay firm in these moments?

If you're wondering where my parents are in all of this, my mother died nine years ago - and that was a loss that honestly robbed me of everything. I was so productive and chasing after my goals, and sacrificing myself for those goals. Then she died, and I didn't want to do anything but act out on my addictions and fade away. My father is an addict, he's an alcoholic, and since mum died, has been on a downward trend, save only for some sober moments. I have lived with my younger two brothers since she died, and carried it on my shoulders to be the example to them. Except a few brief moments of trying, where I was in a better space and they were inspired by that, I have largely failed on the promise I made to be better for them. My youngest brother is in addiction too, and my other brother is distant from us.

I have too many uncertainties - like, what will i do with my life, who will I be - and what will I have to sacrifice to get there? And whilst I want to be a strong version of myself, my desires hold me back from truly going after that. It is so easy to put off starting properly for the next day, so I can pick up some more weed for tonight and watch some porn at the end of the night.

I know I need to want it. But I don't know why I don't seem to want it right now. Pornography has taken everything away from me; a promising career in acting, a laundry list of romantic opportunities with wonderful women, self respect, and the motivation to live a wonderful life.

And yet, even now, I still pick up weed and watch pornography. I don't know what I'm waiting for.

How can I get out of this and finally start living a good life? Please help me. Has anyone else been in this position, and if so, how did you get out of it?

Hello. I'm 28M.

I need help, and advice. I have addictions to porn and weed. I'm struggling to get started. I graduated from a drama school in my early twenties, just a couple of years after my mum passed away. My father is also an alcoholic. And i've struggled emotionally. I've tried to recover, but have often gotten in my way. I don't have anyone to blame but myself, but I've always found faults in others or in recovery when I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

At one point in my early twenties, I was in drama school, working towards becoming an actor - going on dates. I seemingly had the world at my feet, and life could've been very different> But I never really committed wholly - and I stayed in my hometown after I graduated, instead of moving to London, in order to look after my younger brothers, as we were still grieving, and had no one to really be there for us. That was all so long ago. And I'm not even connected to that dream of being an actor anymore.

I'm lost.

I'm getting really scared as time goes on, because I want to get going - and after hundreds of attempts, I'm still where I was back then.

I'm working, but have taken some time off due to being in my addictions. But I haven't necessarily been working to get better. I'd really like to. But I'm not sure if I want to, or if I just want to want to.

I feel like I need a male role model to put me in my place, and help me to get out of this rut once and for all. I've had moments in the past few years where I've been doing the work, practicing jiu jitsu, and life has gotten much better. But I've really struggled to find myself in a similar position. Whenever things start lifting up, I find myself going to clubs and losing my sobriety - and slowly the wheels start to fall off.

I know that if I were to gain some momentum, it would make it easier.

I don't want to waste more time than I already have. But I'm really struggling to find the willingness I need to save myself.

Has anyone been in a similar spot - and if so, what did you do to finally snap yourself awake? What am I missing?

Hello. I'm 28M.

I need help, and advice. I have addictions to porn and weed. I'm struggling to get started. I graduated from a drama school in my early twenties, just a couple of years after my mum passed away. My father is also an alcoholic. And i've struggled emotionally. I've tried to recover, but have often gotten in my way. I don't have anyone to blame but myself, but I've always found faults in others or in recovery when I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

At one point in my early twenties, I was in drama school, working towards becoming an actor - going on dates. I seemingly had the world at my feet, and life could've been very different> But I never really committed wholly - and I stayed in my hometown after I graduated, instead of moving to London, in order to look after my younger brothers, as we were still grieving, and had no one to really be there for us. That was all so long ago. And I'm not even connected to that dream of being an actor anymore.

I'm lost.

I'm getting really scared as time goes on, because I want to get going - and after hundreds of attempts, I'm still where I was back then.

I'm working, but have taken some time off due to being in my addictions. But I haven't necessarily been working to get better. I'd really like to. But I'm not sure if I want to, or if I just want to want to.

I feel like I need a male role model to put me in my place, and help me to get out of this rut once and for all. I've had moments in the past few years where I've been doing the work, practicing jiu jitsu, and life has gotten much better. But I've really struggled to find myself in a similar position. Whenever things start lifting up, I find myself going to clubs and losing my sobriety - and slowly the wheels start to fall off.

I know that if I were to gain some momentum, it would make it easier.

I don't want to waste more time than I already have. But I'm really struggling to find the willingness I need to save myself.

Has anyone been in a similar spot - and if so, what did you do to finally snap yourself awake? What am I missing?

Hello. I'm 28M.

I need help, and advice. I have addictions to porn and weed. I'm struggling to get started. I graduated from a drama school in my early twenties, just a couple of years after my mum passed away. My father is also an alcoholic. And i've struggled emotionally. I've tried to recover, but have often gotten in my way. I don't have anyone to blame but myself, but I've always found faults in others or in recovery when I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

At one point in my early twenties, I was in drama school, working towards becoming an actor - going on dates. I seemingly had the world at my feet, and life could've been very different> But I never really committed wholly - and I stayed in my hometown after I graduated, instead of moving to London, in order to look after my younger brothers, as we were still grieving, and had no one to really be there for us. That was all so long ago. And I'm not even connected to that dream of being an actor anymore.

I'm lost.

I'm getting really scared as time goes on, because I want to get going - and after hundreds of attempts, I'm still where I was back then.

I'm working, but have taken some time off due to being in my addictions. But I haven't necessarily been working to get better. I'd really like to. But I'm not sure if I want to, or if I just want to want to.

I feel like I need a male role model to put me in my place, and help me to get out of this rut once and for all. I've had moments in the past few years where I've been doing the work, practicing jiu jitsu, and life has gotten much better. But I've really struggled to find myself in a similar position. Whenever things start lifting up, I find myself going to clubs and losing my sobriety - and slowly the wheels start to fall off.

I know that if I were to gain some momentum, it would make it easier.

I don't want to waste more time than I already have. But I'm really struggling to find the willingness I need to save myself.

Has anyone been in a similar spot - and if so, what did you do to finally snap yourself awake? What am I missing?