u/ImaginationLonely787

So I'm an agnostic teenager and since I was a kid I've been hyper focused on Grecolatin mythology (my autism suuure isn't involved in that, why would it be?). I have a friend I made last summer who's a, like he says, hellenic polytheist, he has shown me his altars and I've loved how it looks and the idea of preparing them. Recently I've been praying during moments like just before an exam for example to reach whatever or whoever may be there, as I think there may be something or someone there, that's my agnostic way of thinking. As I was raised catholic, I pray what they teached me though I don't really believe in God. Also recently I've been told that it's not correct and of poor believing to only pray in moments of need, like to ask for something, but not to thank for anything, and I've felt really bad as I realised they were right but I keep not being capable of pray to thank, so for the moment I'm just not praying, or at least not that much.

Now, lately I've felt attracted to some of the Hellenic practices such as the altar-making, the offering and the prayers and I would want to do such things as I think I would like and enjoy it, that it would bring me peace during these stressful times I'm going through in highschool and that I would be able to thank more that way. I also think that way I could channel and direct better my prayers and my productivity, in a much calmer way. However, due to previous conversations I had long ago with another friend who's a paganist, I think that it may be disrespectful to do such things without believing, that it would disrespect the religion and the believers and that it would be religious appropriation, and I really don't want to be disrespectful. I mean, I don't really believe in nothing, and I sure don't believe in these gods, and though I would like to believe and sure I've tried to, I just can't, I'm not able. The most I've come to is to propose myself that every part of nature has some divinity in itself, but even though I thought it I just can't believe that neither.

I want also to ask this to my hellenic polytheist friend but I would have to wait as I've asked him enough questions today and it's pretty late, so meanwhile I will be asking here and in some other subreddits.

Please don't judge me, I really don't want to disrespect anyone. And thank you in advance for your tips, help, guidance and time.

Ok, so, I'm continuing with my project about the offspring of Nyx and I'm now with Momus. Apparently, the only artistic pictoric representation of the god Momus is in some black-figure hydria in Chicago that portrays some kind of parodic Judgement of Paris. Unfortunetly, it can only be found in one webpage and it requires to pay for access or to enter by an institutional account. If any of you is capable of, I don't know, hack it or whatever that allows to substract the image or can enter with their institutional account and then could send the image over here in the commentaries, it would be really great. Thank you so much in advance and really sorry if I'm asking for a lot. This is the webpage's link: https://utppublishing.com/doi/abs/10.3138/mous.19.2.02