u/ImmediateSolid4514

Hi!

I’m eritrean orthodox christian, born, and still live in Sweden. Within the past couple of years, I’ve noticed some acquaintances (they’re all from Eritrea, don’t know if that’s relevant), that used to be (or still say they are) orthodox christian, say or do some strange things.

These people (those who I know personally happen to be women) started saying things like, women should always cover their hair, not just in church, but in daily life, outside of their homes. Women should not wear pants, only long skirts or dresses. They say that coffee is the devil’s drink. They weren’t like this a few years ago, they were just normal orthodox christian Eritreans. They used to not cover their hair, wear pants and drink coffee (bun). The women I know are between 40-60 years old, and have all lived in Sweden for at least 20 years.

The priest and deacons have all said that it’s not part of our religion, culture, and tradition, and to not listen to them. I obviously agree with this (not that I’m a religious expert, but whatever).

It seems like this is spreading within the Eritrean community in my city. Is this just a thing in Sweden, or in other places too? Is this like a new religion, or just some people within our community that are making things up?

Hi!

I’m a woman in my early 30s, Eritrean, but born and raised in Europe. I was born with a syndrome that causes some physical disabilities, as well as limb and facial differences. I’m very independent though, I’ve lived alone (now I live with my husband, who’s also Eritrean) and take care of myself, I work, etc. Pretty much like most people. I do look very different though, so people often stare, and sometimes may think I have intellectual disabilities (which I don’t have, only physical).

Growing up, it was like my disabilities were viewed in two different ways, almost like two different worlds. In Europe, in the country where I was born in, and still live in (in my experience), people are way more open and casual, and normal about this stuff. People stare (which I can understand), but that’s it. Disabilities are not that big of a deal. There isn’t as much stigma around it. It’s like there’s this understanding that they live their lives, and I live mine. When I meet new people, they might ask what disabilities I have, but it’s very casual, like them asking which city I’m from or something. Growing up, the attitude here was, I maybe can’t do some things, or I might be slower than others physically, but I can still do things, so I’m going to focus on that. This was the attitude from teachers, doctors, hospital staff, etc. Sure, I couldn’t walk long distances or carry heavy things, but I was good at math, I loved to read, I played piano and guitar, etc. They focused on my strengths instead of my weaknesses.

When I meet eritreans (those born here don’t do this, they’re like the Europeans) it’s like they’re being overly nice (even though I’ve known some of them my whole life). They talk normally to my siblings, but with me, they use a sweeter voice, like I’m a child, tilt their heads, like they’re pitying me. It’s infantilizing. And I felt that disabilities were never openly spoken about (at least not in front of me). It felt like this was something shameful, that I was wrong. It also frustrated me a lot growing up that it felt like people underestimated me. They didn’t believe I could go to uni (even though I eventually got a PhD). They didn’t believe I could get married. They didn’t believe I could be happy. I’ve always felt like I was the underdog in the Eritrean community. No matter what I did, they only focused on my disabilities. They only focus on, and keep bringing up the negatives.

You see physically disabled characters on european TV shows, where the disability actually isn’t part of the plot, it’s just a part of the character, just like some people are black, etc. For example, there’s this crime solving show, where a member of the team, a data analyst, happened to use a wheelchair. The show isn’t about her disability, it’s about solving crimes, she’s just another member of the team. There’s another show where the mother of a family has an amputated arm (but the show isn’t about the disability).

I feel like people in our culture can’t fathom that you can be happy with a disability. I’m not saying it doesn’t affect me, of course it does. I have sad moments, but most of the time, I’m really at peace with it, and am happy with my life. I’ve lived with this my whole life. My disabilities are a part of me. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. They’re a part of my identity, just like being an eritrean is part of my identity. I don’t want to be pitied or praised, I just want to be treated like everybody else.

I’m very new to makeup so I’m kind of experimenting and trying things out. I like minimal, natural makeup looks.

I’ve been looking for blushes that look subtle and natural on me, and have found 3, The Merit Flush Balm blushes in the shades Archival and Bespoke, and the Rare Beauty Liquid Blush in the shade Encourage. A lot of blushes I’ve tried (warm toned?) look orange on me, so I think I have a cool undertone. I also tend to look like a clown if I try colors that ”pop”, so muted shades look way better on me (or maybe it’s because I don’t use any foundation or concealer, so I’m wearing blush on a bare face basically).

Maybe I’m a cool olive? I have medium/very light brown skin tone.

Anyway, so far I have one MAC lipstick, Crème In Your Coffee, and I love it. I usually don’t wear lipsticks like full on, I dab them lightly and blend it out with my fingers to make it look more muted and natural. But I find that a lot of other lipsticks I’ve tried are too ”bright” and not muted.

So, do you have any recommendations on MAC lipsticks that I should try? Or maybe other lipsticks? Thanks!

Hello! I’m wondering if anyone ever drinks while on lexapro? I’ve been on it for about a year now, 20mgs. To be honest, I rarely drank even before I started. I’ve never had more than one drink of anything ever, one beer, one glass of wine, one cocktail, etc. So I’ve never really been drunk,
(I think?).

Anyway, I haven’t had a drink since being on lexapro. I’m wondering if anyone here has a drink from time to time, and how it makes them feel. Is it okay to have one, or is it better to stay away from it completely?

Thanks!

Är här över sommaren och skulle gärna vilja ha tips på caféer där man kan sitta och jobba några timmar (medan man dricker ett par koppar kaffe, och något att äta), där det finns uttag, bra sittplatser osv.

Espresso House funkar ju alltid, men har ni tips på några specifika? Har också hört om Condeco, så ska nog gå dit, men har ni fler rekommendationer?

Tack!

Har haft problem med psykisk ohälsa hela mitt liv. Var hemmasittare. De senaste 10 åren har jag i princip legat i sängen hela dagarna och inte gjort något. Har blivit väldigt isolerad på grund av detta. Jag har inte en ända vän. Har inte klarat av studier och jobb. Har kontakt med vården, men de gör inte så mycket.

Hursomhelst, jag känner att jag vill ut ur det här hålet. Jag måste börja gå ut och umgås med människor. Jag måste bryta isoleringen. Jag måste ta tag i mitt liv.

Jag har hört om fontänhus, och undrar om det är någon som har erfarenhet av dem.

Tack!

Är i tidiga 20-årsåldern. Ja, jag har kontakt med socialen. Har hamnat här på grund av psykisk ohälsa. Använder inte alkohol, droger eller liknande. Vet inte vad jag ska göra. Ni som har gått igenom en sådan här situation, snälla ge mig hopp om att det blir bättre. Att man kan ta sig igenom det här. Att det finns ett ljus i tunneln.

I have very cool undertones. If I wear warm toned lipstick (or warm toned anything, really), it looks ”off” on me.

I tend to wear subtle, minimal makeup looks. I sometimes even use lipsticks as blush. My favorite lipsticks are the MAC lipsticks in the shades Mehr, and Cool Teddy. They both look very natural on me. Since I don’t have a store near me with MAC lipsticks that I can swatch, I can only order them online.

So, I’m wondering if you have recommendations on cool-toned (not neutral) MAC lipsticks, preferably pinks, nudes, or mauves. The formula doesn’t matter.

Thanks!

Hej! Vet att folk inte gillar dessa typer av inlägg, men vet inte vart jag ska fråga annars.

Är en person i 25-årsåldern, som har försatt mig själv i en väldigt dålig situation (ekonomi, studier, jobb, etc.), och har nog nått ”rock bottom” (absoluta botten?). Just nu känns det som att allt går åt helvete, och det mesta är mitt fel. Jag har precis sökt hjälp och stöd, men det känns typ som att det är för sent.

Skulle gärna vilja höra från människor som också har varit i botten, och som lyckats ta sig ur det här hålet. Att höra att det blir bättre. Att få lite hopp liksom.