Confused if this was SA
More than a year ago I was in a very toxic situation with a man, I won't get into it but to this day I find it hard to heal from the trauma, insults and even violence threats.
The first time we were sexual with each other after fore play and everything we were about to have sex and he was going to do it without a condom but I told him no, to put a condom because I'm not dealing with the risks of not using one (I had never not used one before that), he shrugged it off saying "it's okay" and that I should "trust him"? I said no a couple times but didn't physically fight it so he ended up doing it without a condom. I didn't fight it or say anything else, I just let it happen. It caused me a lot of anxiety because I already struggle with fears of pregnancy and stds.
I carry so much shame and guilt around that situation and overall for allowing myself to be treated the way he did, blaming myself that I didn't leave sooner. I don't know what to call this either because in my mind SA is something violent or graphic but I know it realistically is anything that happened without consent.