u/Immediate_Coast7616

I’ve noticed that most animals so far have approached me. Not just animals, but children as well. I work as a teacher (educator?) for an after school program. I was watching the playground and kids would approach me and compliment me. It was so sweet. A lot would stare I’ve noticed but maybe it’s because I’m a person of color in a white majority space? One or two kids have held my hand.

I was at the beach and a dog ran to me and seemed so jolly. It was a lovely encounter. I was there wearing fairy wings and dancing but don’t know if the dog spotted me dancing lol.

I was at a friend’s house party and a mutual brought their new pet dog. The dog was instantly attracted to me in a way by approaching me more and licking my face. The mutual friend even questioned why he kept coming to me.

At Christmas gathering, I was approached by my cousin’s dog. She also noticed the attention I was getting from her dog. They would try to lick my face and would approach me but my cousin thinks it could’ve been because I was wearing a headpiece that caught attention and her dog wanted to possibly try and grab it.

I was at a date’s house and he had a dog. His dog instantly approached me and laid next to me on the couch. He put his hands under my thighs and laid his head on me. It was so cute and wholesome. The date also told me he felt safe around me. It was sweet to hear. I haven’t heard back from him though lmao.

I was taking care of a cat months ago (now my ESA) and she started off shy and hid in my roommate’s closet but then started coming into my room and sitting/laying with me. She’d watch me create art and just lay with me. Months past, she’s a lot more comfortable around me and follows me literally everywhere I go. My roommate pointed this out to that she seems to really like me.

I was at a friend/crush’s house watching a movie and their roommate’s cat followed us into his room. He ended up staying with us and laying with us while we were watching a movie. He seemed SO relaxed. I don’t think he usually goes in my friend’s room. My friend pointed out that he’s never seen him so relaxed before and that he was relaxed than usual.

So, I approach animals with kindness and love. I approach everyone and being with kindness. I love animals. Children are great teachers and inspiring.

Idk if animals and children just feel comfortable around me or these are just coincidences lol. I’m terrible at socializing with humans in my opinion. Terrible at understanding social cues. I grew up teased and ostracized. I honestly feel like I’m so awkward around people. I never was able to fit in anywhere since I was little.

I feel like I’m a beautiful and complex person who loves expressing themselves. I value authenticity and vulnerability. I crave emotional and deep connections. I feel lonely a lot of the times to be honest. I feel like no one really ever genuinely wants to be with me or around me unless for superficial unhealthy reasons or maybe I’m just overthinking because of past insecurities and trauma.

I want to share myself with someone. I’m learning to love myself everyday.

I’ve noticed that most animals so far have approached me. Not just animals, but children as well. I work as a teacher (educator?) for an after school program. I was watching the playground and kids would approach me and compliment me. It was so sweet. A lot would stare I’ve noticed but maybe it’s because I’m a person of color in a white majority space? One or two kids have held my hand.

I was at the beach and a dog ran to me and seemed so jolly. It was a lovely encounter. I was there wearing fairy wings and dancing but don’t know if the dog spotted me dancing lol.

I was at a friend’s house party and a mutual brought their new pet dog. The dog was instantly attracted to me in a way by approaching me more and licking my face. The mutual friend even questioned why he kept coming to me.

At Christmas gathering, I was approached by my cousin’s dog. She also noticed the attention I was getting from her dog. They would try to lick my face and would approach me but my cousin thinks it could’ve been because I was wearing a headpiece that caught attention and her dog wanted to possibly try and grab it.

I was at a date’s house and he had a dog. His dog instantly approached me and laid next to me on the couch. He put his hands under my thighs and laid his head on me. It was so cute and wholesome. The date also told me he felt safe around me. It was sweet to hear. I haven’t heard back from him though lmao.

I was taking care of a cat months ago (now my ESA) and she started off shy and hid in my roommate’s closet but then started coming into my room and sitting/laying with me. She’d watch me create art and just lay with me. Months past, she’s a lot more comfortable around me and follows me literally everywhere I go. My roommate pointed this out to that she seems to really like me.

I was at a friend/crush’s house watching a movie and their roommate’s cat followed us into his room. He ended up staying with us and laying with us while we were watching a movie. He seemed SO relaxed. I don’t think he usually goes in my friend’s room. My friend pointed out that he’s never seen him so relaxed before and that he was relaxed than usual.

So, I approach animals with kindness and love. I approach everyone and being with kindness. I love animals. Children are great teachers and inspiring.

Idk if animals and children just feel comfortable around me or these are just coincidences lol. I’m terrible at socializing with humans in my opinion. Terrible at understanding social cues. I grew up teased and ostracized. I honestly feel like I’m so awkward around people. I never was able to fit in anywhere since I was little.

I feel like I’m a beautiful and complex person who loves expressing themselves. I value authenticity and vulnerability. I crave emotional and deep connections. I feel lonely a lot of the times to be honest. I feel like no one really ever genuinely wants to be with me or around me unless for superficial unhealthy reasons or maybe I’m just overthinking because of past insecurities and trauma.

I want to share myself with someone. I’m learning to love myself everyday. I feel like I’m actually a beautiful person inside and out. I’ve grown to see and recognize my beauty and essence. I struggle with self esteem at times due to social conditioning but I know I’m actually a lovely being.

Does he have feelings, am i delusional or is he thinking it’s just casual?

I’m bad at social cues and dating. I am neurodivergent and struggle with socializing and just connecting with others I think. I have a learning disability as well. I also have CPTSD. I feel like my brain hasn’t fully developed.

So, we were intimate first thing (I asked him if he wanted to kiss). On second hang, I told him I wanted to be just friends due to a personal situation I was going through (still am but trying to get a better grip on situation). He then proceeded to say “I wasn’t actually looking for a relationship” then week later, I felt feelings after hanging again as “just friends” but we had slight flirting such as him speaking French to me (it made me melt in my seat), I felt him glancing at me doing a double take after I was laughing. He tends to do that whenever I laugh, he would give me this silent sweet content smile. Same when we were watching a movie and he held my hand caressing my finger.

We would have slight glances at each other when we were just talking sitting in front of each other. It was awkward but so cute. I felt good vibes.

He’s farted in-front of me on the 3rd hang lol idk if that means anything? He seemed a bit embarrassed when I caught him and I made a joke out of it saying I find farts funny and my farts are stinky lmao. He started laughing. I wanted to make him feel comfortable and not embarrassed.

I finally told him days later that I enjoy talking to him, saying I wanted to take things slow and he said “I like you too, we can totally take things slow”

Fast forward, we’ve been seeing eachother for about a month now. We’ve hung out about 8 times so far. We talk almost daily. He initiates and at times, checks up on me. We send each other reels and talk silly banter. It’s fun. I love talking to him and enjoy being around him.

I started wondering how he genuinely felt about me and was curious. So I decided to ask him “do you want to be a friends with benefits sort of thing or date or what” question.

His Voice message: “Um well, I mean, I mean, it depends on you. Um not really sure because a little while back, I figured that I wanted to be monogamous and I was dating this one girl but then she broke up with me and wasn't really sure and so currently, l've been seeing a few different people. I've been seeing three people counting you and I don't really know. I think I'm enjoying seeing multiple people. So like I could maybe see myself being poly. I I do think that like long long term it's not what I want to do. But also like in the short term, it would be doable. Um so it's kind of up to you. If you want to like date or just be friends with benefits. Um I mean it kind of depends on which you prefer.
Uh because I'm open to both, I think.”

I was still contemplating what to respond and he sent another message right after asking, “Sooo what would you like to do?”

I responded telling him that I would like to continue dating instead of just friends with benefits. He said “Ok!”. He proceeds to message me, initiate , and asked if I’d like to hang with him this weekend.

Note: we met on tinder and are both newly poly. I have been poly for a year but haven’t dated anyone really. I’m open to dating people and him seeing others but I’m not planning on dating a whole bunch of people especially at the moment.

I like talking to him and being around him.

When I deactivated my Facebook, he messaged me asking if I deleted it. He also messaged me apparently beforehand asking if I made it home safe after I left his house.

I was texting him one day. I stepped away from the message box and got distracted but then I thought “What if he texts me asking me how my day is? Ask him how his day is” it was like an image popped in my head and then RIGHT at the VERY moment, he sends me another text asking, “How was your day?”

I giggled because it felt uncanny lol

I told him and he responded, “Destiny”

Our last hang, we were watching a movie. His roommate’s cat laid in between us and it was so adorable. I rested my head on his shoulder as he had his arm around me. He proceeded to rest his head on mine.