u/Important_Plenty_332

TL;DR: Three days after moving into a new flatshare in London, one of my flatmates screamed at me over a bin bag, threw rubbish at my bedroom door, and later that night tried to order four adult women to their rooms before recording us when we refused.

I recently moved to London for my placement year and into a private flatshare in East London. There are five of us in total: four women (including me) and one man, who I’ll call Tom.

When I first moved in, I only met one of the girls, who I’ll call Hannah. She was really friendly, and we got on straight away. I didn’t meet the other flatmates until my third day.

The previous tenant had left loads of stuff behind, including mouldy food taking up most of the fridge. I asked the groupchat a few times if someone could help me clear it out because I didn’t know what belonged to who, but nobody replied at first. Eventually they told me it was all the previous tenant’s, so I put it all in one bin bag.

I planned to take the rubbish out later with another flatmate, Sarah, when she got home from work. Before I had the chance, Tom decided to take the bins out himself. While doing that, one of the bags broke I assume.

He completely lost his temper. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, came upstairs to my room, threw what looked like a piece of rubbish at my bedroom door, and continued shouting at me. I was completely shocked. I apologised repeatedly and immediately helped him clean up the mess in the kitchen. Afterwards, I went back to my room and cried because I’d only been living there for three days and had no idea what had just happened.

Around an hour later, Sarah and I went for a drink after she finished work. Hannah and another flatmate, (who I’ll call Bianca), joined us, and it was actually really nice to get to know everyone properly. We came home around 00:45. Sarah and Bianca wanted to make some food, so the four of us stood in the kitchen, chatting quietly while they cooked.

After only a couple of minutes, Tom aggressively burst into the kitchen and said, “Guys it’s 1am can we be quiet, please?” We then lowered our voices and started whispering.
About a minute later, he came back, burst through the door again, and shouted, “EVERYONE, TO YOUR ROOMS, NOW!” And we just stood there in silence. Sarah just said, “We’re adults. You can’t tell us to go to our rooms.”

When he noticed none of us was moving, Tom stood in the doorway, pulled out his phone, and started recording all four of us, saying he was going to report us to the landlord. Bianca brought up how he’d shouted at me earlier over the bins and said he couldn’t keep intimidating people like that.

For context, Tom is in his 30s, and the rest of us are in our 20s. At no point did he apologise for shouting at me or throwing rubbish at my door.
We spoke to the landlord afterwards because this behaviour made all of us uncomfortable.

Being shouted at is something I find quite difficult because I grew up in an environment where that happened a lot, so having someone shout at me like that in my own home made me feel unsafe.

I’m still living here, and I’m honestly not sure how to handle someone who reacts like this over relatively minor issues.

I moved into my new flat in London on the 30th of June.

Yesterday I had some issues with the only male flatmate in our house (who I'd just met that day), who shouted and screamed at me for cleaning a past tenant's rubbish, threatened me by throwing something at my door, and later that evening tried to intimidate the other flatmates and me by recording us and threatening to send it to our landlord. Due to this, I no longer feel safe in the flat, and I texted my landlord explaining the situation. He said he'd talk to him, but despite this, I've made my decision and want to move out.

However, because of the renter's rights, etc. I can't put in my one-month notice until the 20th, which is quite far away. I am quite desperate to leave, as I feel like I am walking on eggshells around him, never knowing when and if he'd send a passive-aggressive text for the smallest amount of dirty dishes, or shout at me again for no good reason.

I understand that I can physically move out at any time; I just have to pay this month's rent and then put my notice after that, but I have no friends or family to stay with, as I know no one in London (I just moved here from somewhere quite far away). So, I considered just renting another flat and moving in there, and then giving the landlord the key to my old flat once my tenancy ends.

However, I am a uni student on a placement year. I cannot afford to rent two rooms at once. But I am so desperate to move away, I haven't eaten proper food in days, I am so stressed I'm breaking out, and I feel scared to even exit my room. I'm ~300 pounds in overdraft already because of June's rent, and I'd reach beyond max overdraft if I paid for both this room's rent and the other's security, holding deposit and first month's rent, too.

I have no idea what to do; I'm stumped. And no, I can't just "suck it up"; I'm a 20-year-old woman, and I was threatened by a man in his 30s. I am not safe/comfortable here as long as he's living here. And no, I don't think he'll be kicked out anytime soon. At least I think my landlord wants to give him another chance, but I am not going to wait around for something else to happen.

TL;DR: Three days after moving into a new flatshare in London, one of my flatmates screamed at me over a bin bag, threw rubbish at my bedroom door, and later that night tried to order four adult women to their rooms before recording us when we refused.

I recently moved to London for my placement year and into a private flatshare in East London. There are five of us in total: four women (including me) and one man, who I’ll call Tom.

When I first moved in, I only met one of the girls, who I’ll call Hannah. She was really friendly, and we got on straight away. I didn’t meet the other flatmates until my third day.

The previous tenant had left loads of stuff behind, including mouldy food taking up most of the fridge. I asked the groupchat a few times if someone could help me clear it out because I didn’t know what belonged to who, but nobody replied at first. Eventually they told me it was all the previous tenant’s, so I put it all in one bin bag.

I planned to take the rubbish out later with another flatmate, Sarah, when she got home from work. Before I had the chance, Tom decided to take the bins out himself. While doing that, one of the bags broke I assume.

He completely lost his temper. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, came upstairs to my room, threw what looked like a piece of rubbish at my bedroom door, and continued shouting at me. I was completely shocked. I apologised repeatedly and immediately helped him clean up the mess in the kitchen. Afterwards, I went back to my room and cried because I’d only been living there for three days and had no idea what had just happened.

Around an hour later, Sarah and I went for a drink after she finished work. Hannah and another flatmate, (who I’ll call Bianca), joined us, and it was actually really nice to get to know everyone properly. We came home around 00:45. Sarah and Bianca wanted to make some food, so the four of us were standing in the kitchen chatting quietly while they cooked.

After only a couple of minutes, Tom suddenly burst into the kitchen and said, “Guys it’s 1am can we be quiet please?” Fair enough, so we lowered our voices and started whispering.
About a minute later, he came back, burst through the door again, and shouted, “EVERYONE, TO YOUR ROOMS, NOW!” And we just stood there in silence. Sarah just said, “We’re adults. You can’t tell us to go to our rooms.”

When he noticed none of us were moving, Tom stood in the doorway, pulled out his phone, and started recording all four of us while saying he was going to report us to the landlord. Bianca brought up how he’d shouted at me earlier over the bins and said he couldn’t keep intimidating people like that.

For context, Tom is in his 30s and the rest of us are in our 20s. At no point did he apologise for shouting at me or throwing rubbish at my door.
We spoke to the landlord afterwards because this behaviour made all of us uncomfortable.

Being shouted at is something I find quite difficult because I grew up in an environment where that happened a lot, so having someone shout at me like that in my own home made me feel unsafe.

I’m still living here, and I’m honestly not sure how to handle someone who reacts like this over relatively minor issues.

I’m not sure how to live comfortably with someone who reacts like this. Any advice would be appreciated.

TL;DR: The only male flatmate shouted at me, threw something at my door, and shouted us all to go to bed even though we’re all adult women (oh and recorded us without our consent)

So I’ve just moved to London for my placement year, and I got a nice private flatshare in the East London area.

FOR CONTEXT: We have 5 people in total including myself. 4 girls, and 1 guy. They all work busy hours except for one of the girls, who is a student.

When I moved in, it was quiet, I met one of the girls (let’s call her Hannah) and she was super nice and respectful and we clicked instantly. I did not see or meet the others until the 3rd day here.

There was an issue however. The tenant before me left most of his stuff, including his mouldy food. I asked the flat group chat multiple times if I could have some help removing his stuff so I could have some room to move my stuff in. No one answered because I assume they’re so busy with their personal lives, so I just decided on the 3rd day to take care of it myself (because they DID tell me where his stuff was eventually).

I put his stuff in a bin bag, and then went back to my room to do work and eat my dinner (since I’ve just started a new job and was working from home), and the male flatmate (let’s call him Tom) went inside the kitchen, sent a passive aggressive message to the group chat about the bins, and then I replied saying I was going to take care of it with another female flatmate (let’s call her Sarah) who was currently at work. I told him to leave it or if he wanted me to do it that instant, I would do it now. I assume he’s a big clean freak, my flatmates who have been living with him for long told me this, because the kitchen is so clean it’s insane, and he decided to just take the bins out.

So I assume when Tom was taking the bins out, one of them broke, and he went BALLISTIC. he screamed at the top of his lungs, went upstairs to my room, and threw something at my door. I assume it was a piece of my garbage. I opened the door to see what was going on, and he continued to shout at me, saying I was putting pressure on everyone etc. I was clearly in shock, I repeatedly started apologising to him, and helped him clean the kitchen where the bag must have broke. I then went back to my room and cried, lol

So after all that happened, I met Sarah for the first time after she got off work and we decided to go to the pub to talk, and have a few drinks. We talked about the situation, and eventually Hannah and the other girl (who I’ll call Bianca) came along. We talked, laughed, met each other properly, and went to many pubs until we finally got home at 00:45. We weren’t that drunk, we had a few but obviously we were a bit giggly because we were friends now, we met each other and got along. We went to our kitchen, because Bianca and Sarah wanted to make dinner, and me and Hannah tagged along. We were there for around 2 minutes before Tom aggressively burst through the door and went “guys, it’s 1am, can we be quiet please”, and we weren’t even loud but whatever. We remained in the kitchen and were whispering, but then he came back in, burst through the door, and went “EVERYONE, TO THEIR ROOMS, NOW!” and all four of us just stared at him. Sarah said “we’re adults, you can’t control us”, and he stood by the door and pulled his phone out to record us. I was in shock. My third day here, and we’re all already arguing.

He was recording us saying that he’d report us to our landlord, then Bianca started saying that he was rude to me earlier with the entire bins situation and he can’t intimidate us like that. Mind you, he’s 30+ and we’re all in our 20s. He never once apologised for his behaviour.

We spoke to the landlord because this type of behaviour is unacceptable. I get upset when someone shouts at me, particularly because I grew up in that type of environment and don’t want to be somewhere where I feel very unsafe.

my friend has had some ABV in his cupboard for a few days but he’s wondering if it’s still safe to consume. this will be our first time making eddies so any advice is appreciated.

me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half now. he doesn’t like one of my friends—let’s call her beth. beth is self-centred, but she’s confident. she likes to be the leader, which makes people see her as ‘bossy’, or ‘controlling’. beth is a feminist; she’s lesbian, and she stands up for herself and others.

my boyfriend does NOT like beth. he thinks she’s overly controlling, and tries to take charge and control every situation. he’s told me this countless times. i’d understand why you wouldn’t like her, sometimes what she does pisses me off—but she scares me too much to say it to her face or stand up to her. but he isn’t scared of her, he constantly tries to argue with her.

we all have a group chat with our friends (me and my boyfriend share the same friends) and every time she texts anything, he will react with a weird emoji, or disagree with her, or try argue with her, and it’s tiring. she doesn’t like him back (well she kinda does) so she obviously argues back. beth is a really close friend of mine, she has my back, she’s funny, and we share the same values. but my boyfriend doesn’t like her because, as i said, too controlling/bossy.

and it gets worse when he drinks. when we’re all together, about to go out, he tries to play devil’s advocate and piss everyone off as much as he can, ESPECIALLY beth. and then because he pisses everyone off, he pisses me off. i get embarrassed and upset. then, he sees me upset and asks me ‘are you okay?’ and that’s where the argument begins. he gets upset that i’m upset because he’s annoyed me. it’s hard to express my feelings without getting a ‘what have i done now?’ text. i’m tired of arguing. this cycle has happened for a while now. things were getting good, and now it’s all gone to shit again.

TL;DR: boyfriend is mean to one of my closest best friends and it gets worse when he drinks because he’s surprised that i’m upset about his actions

i’m going onto my placement year in late june and i’m trouble finding a flat/room to rent in london (shoreditch) during my placement year.

i decided to go with my friends yesterday to london to view 4 properties in total. i only saw 2. unfortunately the first two properties did not live up to my expectations, it was grimy and dirty, and not worth the £975 per month, and so i just decided to leave instead of going to the third viewing. we had to miss the fourth viewing (this one has a different landlord) because of the delays and incompetence of the letting agents and basically sending us the wrong way to the fourth viewing😭 (i’m not from london so obviously i had no idea where to go)

anyway i just feel very disappointed and discouraged right now, and that was my only chance to go to london, and i’ll have to do virtual viewings. i live 3+ hours away from london so its very hard to come and view properties.

the bigger issue is that, as a student, i want the student experience and to live with people similar to me. i’m 20 — i want to go out and party on the weekends. obviously i can’t get student accom because i’m moving in too early, and also i’m not a london uni student so i can’t house share with others, and then when i find nice places its just shared with older professionals who don’t want to live with students.

am i looking in the wrong place? am i too early? too late? and btw i use spareroom, facebook groups and openrent to find my viewings.

title.

i’m moving to london in late june to begin my placement year (office based in shoreditch). i’ve been looking at places to rent for a few months but countless landlords/companies i’ve enquired keep saying im too early (which i know because every listing i find says “available to rent ASAP”) so i haven’t secured a place to rent yet. i’ve been looking on rightmove mainly but not rly any luck as, again, im too early.

any advice? especially as i’m a student and i’ve never moved away to london, especially on my own. my budget is £900pcm so idc if what i get is a shithole but i just wanna make sure i don’t miss out on getting somewhere to live before it’s too late.