u/Impressive_Style_237

im 28 and my girlfriend is 27, weve been together nearly three years and on paper things have been really good. No cheating, no big drama, we both have decent jobs, our families get on, and weve always talked about a future. As far as i was concerned we were doing fine.

The one bit of friction has been moving in together. Im not against it at all, honestly id been looking forward to it and id even started quietly looking at places, but i wanted us to do it properly when the timing was right rather than rush it, and i thought wed talked about that and were on the same page.

Over the last six months though she got more and more fixated on it. At first it was just normal chat, then it turned into these little jokey digs about when id finally "commit," and lately its been constant. Any disagreement we have somehow circles back to "well this is exactly why you wont move in with me."

Then last week i saw a message preview pop up on her tablet, and i clicked it, which yeah i know i shouldnt have, and it was a group chat with her mates. They were all swapping ideas on how to push me into it, things like giving me the cold shoulder, putting in zero effort, making me feel guilty over nothing, backing right off physically, all of it. They were even talking about using her birthday as a deadline and dropping hints that there were "other options" if i didnt come through.

Im genuinely not upset that she wants to live together, i wanted that too. But it threw me completely, so i just asked her straight if shed been pulling these little tactics on me, and she said yeah, she was just trying to get some clarity and stop wasting time, and that if i was serious id have sorted it by now. So i told her im not doing it, definitely not while im being managed into it like a project.

AITAH for putting the brakes on after all that?

ive been at my company eight years and im a senior person on my team, not a manager but the one people go to. about five months ago we took on a new guy on a six month probation, and from week one he had a habit of calling me by the name of another bloke on the team who does a totally different role. ill call the new guy darren.

the first time my manager introduced us darren got my name wrong, i corrected him, and he said "close enough" and laughed. i let it go once. but it kept happening for weeks, in meetings, on emails, in front of clients, and every time i corrected him he either ignored it or doubled down with a nickname version of the wrong name. my manager corrected him twice as well and he still wouldnt change.

eventually i told him plainly that he could either use my actual name or i was going to stop responding to him entirely since we dont work directly together anyway. his response was to grin and use the wrong name again, so i thought fine, and from then on i genuinely just did not answer to it.

a few weeks later he was running a client deliverable and without asking me he cc'd me into a thread telling the client that i would handle the final review and sign off by end of day friday. he addressed me by the wrong name in the email as usual. i never agreed to any of this and it was the first id heard of it, so going by what id told him, i ignored it completely.

friday came and went, i did not review anything because nobody had actually asked me using my name or otherwise, and the deliverable went out late and wrong. the client complained, it got escalated, and when it came out that there were threats and abuse in the emails he started sending me that evening when i didnt respond, plus him being on probation, he was let go.

now a few people are saying i was the jerk for letting it get to that point and basically getting him fired over a name. management told me they understood but that i shouldve flagged it rather than just going silent. so honestly, how should i have actually handled this, am i the one who messed up here.

so im 52, my adult daughter (24) lives nearby with two flatmates, and my younger brother (39) has been living with me for the last four months. his wife died very suddenly in december and hes been a wreck, hes been staying in our spare room while he sorts the house theyd just finished renovating before everything happened.

hes a quiet bloke at the best of times and right now hes barely above ground.

my daughter comes over a lot, usually fine, sometimes she brings the same group of four mates round and they hang out in the kitchen and the lounge, no issues. about three weeks ago they were here on a saturday afternoon and i went upstairs to grab something and found all four of them in my brothers room, two of them sitting on his bed, one going through a box of his wifes jewellery hed been sorting on the dresser, another flipping through a photo album. my brother was sat in the corner not saying anything with his eyes glassy, in the same shutdown thing he does when hes overwhelmed.

i told them to get out of the room then and there and i sent them home. my daughter was furious, said id embarrassed her in front of her friends, that they were "just curious" and werent trying to do anything weird, that i overreacted because uncle is a sensitive man and i used that to humiliate her.

my brother apologised to me later for "causing drama" and went to bed at 8pm. i havent told him what im actually thinking about doing because he doesnt need it on his plate.

next saturday is my daughters birthday and shes already told me shes coming round with the same four mates because they always do birthday drinks at the house before going out. i havent said anything yet but im going to tell her on thursday that the four of them arent welcome at the house anymore, that she can come round whenever she wants on her own or with one of them, but the group of them as a unit cant come back while my brother is here.

WIBTA if i made that the rule?

so i started a new job this week. the whole interview process i specifically asked multiple people about remote because im a primary parent during the school week and a long commute genuinely doesnt work for my life right now. every single person told me the role was fully remote. its in the written offer. i signed.

day 2 of onboarding the hiring manager mentions in passing that hell see me at the office on monday. i thought he was joking. i laughed.

he was not joking.

turns out two weeks before my start date the company quietly rolled out an RTO policy. three days a week, mandatory, in an office thats a 90 minute drive each way. apparently nobody updated the recruiter, the hr contact, the panel, or anyone else who told me during interviews that the role was fully remote. or maybe they did update them and they just chose not to mention it to me.

the hiring manager basically said the earlier info didnt reflect the most current policy and asked if that was gonna be a problem. i said i wasnt sure and i needed to think about it. he looked kind of irritated.

i drove home and pulled up a doc and started drafting a resignation email. didnt send it yet. spent the rest of the night going back and forth on it.

on one hand. they lied to me. or they didnt update me. either way i made a major life decision based on information that turned out to be false. on the other hand. ive been in the job for literally three days. ive only met like four people. and i did sign an offer.

a friend told me to sit with it for a week and see if i can negotiate something. another friend told me to send the resignation tonight before i invest any more time. my partner is staying neutral.

how badly does it look to leave a job after three days? is there a way to negotiate this or is this a "they lied to get me in the door and the rest of the job will be the same" situation thats not gonna get better? did i overreact by drafting a resignation on day 2?

I am 36 and I have a nine year old daughter. Her mother and I have been divorced for about three years. We have a 50/50 custody arrangement and have made it work pretty well. We are not friends but we co-parent functionally and both show up for our daughter when it matters.

About a year ago her mother got remarried. Ive met her new husband a few times at drop offs, he seems decent enough and our daughter likes him.

Last weekend her mother called. Her new husbands parents are visiting from overseas this week for the first time since the wedding and havent met our daughter yet. The visit lands on the weekend our daughter has her first big school play. She has a real speaking role and has been excited for weeks.

The mother asked if I would skip the play.

I asked why. She said her new husbands parents really want to see our daughter perform and want a nice family dinner after to mark the occasion. With me there it would be awkward, the in laws would not know how to handle the dynamic, our daughter would feel pulled between two tables. She added her in laws come from a culture where divorced parents being friendly at events is unusual and they would not know how to read it. I said I was not skipping my daughters first play.

She kept pushing. Said she wasnt asking me to never see her plays, that our daughter has other performances coming up, that this one specific evening was important for the new family.

I offered a real compromise. I said I would come to the play, sit in a different section, leave right after the curtain, not come to the dinner, and not approach our daughter in front of her step grandparents. I would basically be another face in the audience.

She said no. Our daughter would see me and not understand why I wasnt coming to dinner. The in laws would notice if our daughter waved at me or ran over after. The only version that works is the one where I am not there.

I told her no. I told her she does not get to ask me to be invisible at my own daughters first big school moment so her in laws can be more comfortable with a version of the family that does not include me.

She said I was being selfish and putting my feelings over our daughters comfort with her new step family.

AITA?

I have been at this company for four years working in the same technical team. A few months ago I put in a request to do an AWS certification that would directly support a project I am currently leading. It is about eight hundred dollars and the kind of thing our company funds regularly for people at my level. My request came back declined with a note about budget constraints.

Last week I found out that a colleague who joined six months ago had the exact same AWS certification approved and paid for almost immediately.

Same course. Same cost. Six months in versus four years in.

I genuinely have nothing against my colleague and this is not about them at all.

But I cannot find a logical reason why mine was knocked back while theirs sailed through and the budget constraint excuse now feels pretty hollow.

I want to raise it but I do not want to come across as bitter or like I am making it about my colleague. I just want to understand what actually happened and whether there is something going on with my position here that I should know about.

Has anyone dealt with something like this and how did you approach it?

My sister passed away a few months ago and left behind a baby who is now completely without parents. Her partner is also not in the picture for reasons I will not get into. Both sets of grandparents have real limitations that make taking the baby in long term genuinely not possible for them, and my sister had no other close family except me.

So the pressure has landed on me and it has been building from multiple directions including people I thought would understand why I am hesitating.

The honest truth is that my sister and I had a really complicated relationship. The last few years were hard and there was a lot of pain between us that never got resolved before she died. I have my own life, my own responsibilities, and I am already dealing with grief that is not straightforward because of everything that happened between us.

I do not think I can take this baby in and give them what they actually need. Not because I do not care about what happens to them but because I know what my emotional state is right now and I know what unresolved feelings I would be bringing into that situation every single day.

I feel genuinely terrible about it. I also think pretending I would be a good option for this child just to avoid feeling guilty would be worse for everyone including the baby.

WIBTA if I said no?