u/Incy_Bar_100

As a Black girl, I have constantly faced a dilemma regarding my preferences: I am deeply attracted to white men. I live in a multicultural area with a great diversity of races, and even though I have tried to be open-minded and date Black guys, the reality is that I just don't connect; it doesn't feel exciting, nor does it spark genuine chemistry. At times, this leaves me feeling guilty or uncomfortable, as if my own tastes are narrowing my options, but attraction isn't something that can be forced by sheer willpower. My social circle adds an extra layer of pressure; I constantly hear my friends say that "chocolate guys" are the absolute best, while they completely close themselves off to dating white men. Influenced by their opinions and wanting to fit into that mindset, I tried giving it a chance and dating Black guys, but the excitement was never there. At the end of the day, I can't ignore what truly captivates me: white guys completely sweep me off my feet. However, things have become more complicated lately, because despite having clear preferences, I am now also failing to connect with white men due to my social anxiety. That fear and shyness block my interactions, making the act of getting to know someone—regardless of their background—feel like an overwhelming challenge.

I have been single since I was 20. Since I turned 22, I’ve been on and off dating apps—I have tried them all, but I haven't had any luck. Instead, I’ve faced incredibly frustrating situations: from guys unmatching me the second I reply to a greeting they sent first, to conversations that seem to flow beautifully only to turn cold overnight without explanation. More often than not, it turns out they are just looking to pass the time with sexting. Going through this repetitive cycle has often made me feel like I’m not enough, chipping away at my confidence until I don't know what to do anymore. To make matters worse, the advice I get is completely exhausting and confusing. Some people tell me, "keep looking, the right person will come," while others swear, "it happens when you stop looking and give up." These contradictions only add to my frustration. Right now, I just want to process this burnout, remember my own worth outside of a screen, and figure out how to heal in a world full of superficiality

I have been single since I was 20. Since I turned 22, I’ve been on and off dating apps—I have tried them all, but I haven't had any luck. Instead, I’ve faced incredibly frustrating situations: from guys unmatching me the second I reply to a greeting they sent first, to conversations that seem to flow beautifully only to turn cold overnight without explanation. More often than not, it turns out they are just looking to pass the time with sexting.

Going through this repetitive cycle has often made me feel like I’m not enough, chipping away at my confidence until I don't know what to do anymore. To make matters worse, the advice I get is completely exhausting and confusing. Some people tell me, "keep looking, the right person will come," while others swear, "it happens when you stop looking and give up." These contradictions only add to my frustration. Right now, I just want to process this burnout, remember my own worth outside of a screen, and figure out how to heal in a world full of superficiality