u/Independent-Risk910

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving and we’re going to my partner’s moms for dinner but I said I’d bring something for myself to eat since I won’t be eating there. I told him I can’t risk something being prepped on a same cutting board or with the same utensils or one of the kids using a spoon for a gluten-containing dish in something that’s gluten free, thus contaminating it. It’s not for his mom’s lack of concern or ignorance, but rather a culture and language barrier (she still tries to offer me pastries and bread several years in, lol). But he looked genuinely shocked when I told him I’d bring my own food and I don’t want to come across as rude or insulting to his mom (usually I’ve avoided this by going to my parents alone for dinner then swinging by after dinner, but this year they’re doing it on different days). It’s just with a lot of people there that don’t have to think about this, including kids, I can’t trust that there won’t be cross contamination.

I’d really love to hear from hairstylists or salon owners about this because I’m feeling weird about this. I’ve been seeing my current stylist for a while, but I’ve always left appointments disappointed with my hair. I feel awkward saying something once the haircut is finished, so I’ve never really told her that I wasn’t happy. She hasn’t done anything objectively wrong, and I don’t have an issue with the salon itself. So today my usual stylist had to cancel my appointment (totally fine, things happen), and because I’ve been unhappy with my hair anyway, I decided to book with another stylist there thinking maybe I’ll see what someone else can do and whether a different approach works better for me. And I loved my hair**.** It’s the first time since my previous stylist left that I’ve left feeling truly happy with my hair. On top of that, I clicked really well with this stylist personality-wise. So now I’m wondering whether it would be considered rude or awkward to simply start booking with the new stylist at the same salon going forward? I wouldn’t feel weird about switching salons entirely, but staying at the same salon and changing stylists feels personal and it’s not. For hairstylists:** **Is this a normal thing? Would you prefer a client who isn’t happy with their current stylist to switch to another stylist within the salon rather than leave the salon altogether? And would you expect the original stylist to take it personally? And if it is normal/ok, should I call the salon first to let them know and make sure she’s open for new clients?

I’m trying to figure out whether I genuinely handled something poorly or whether this situation is more complicated than it feels. I’m open to hearing that I was wrong, but I need outside perspective.

I own a small house (~600 sq ft). The kitchen is tiny: one drawer, one lower cupboard for pots/pans, and six uppers (one is the pantry). Before my partner moved in, I only kept a toaster on the counter. After we got together, I added a coffee maker for him and an air fryer he encouraged me to buy. Other appliances stay in the basement and I bring them up as needed.

For two years, I’ve been cooking daily in a kitchen where counter space is extremely limited and these three appliances permanently occupy the only workable surfaces. I’ve tried different configurations, but I consistently lose prep, cooking, and landing space. In the last six months, both of us have accidentally put oven mitts on hot burners, melted plastic, put glass on still‑hot elements, knocked things over, etc. It’s become unsafe.

I cook regularly, and I have celiac disease, so gluten‑free cooking and avoiding cross‑contamination is a medical need. GF convenience foods are expensive, so cooking from scratch is important. Sometimes we make two versions of a meal (GF for me, non‑GF for him), which requires more space and cleanup.

After knocking something over again, I felt something had to change. The kitchen doesn’t realistically support three permanent counter appliances. I suggested toast could be done in a pan, coffee via French press or pour‑over, and the air fryer could stay out. I wasn’t fixed on this exact solution, just trying to find any workable alternative.

He immediately rejected all of it. He said he won’t make toast in a pan, won’t use any coffee method except the coffee maker, and the air fryer must stay out. He said all three appliances need to remain on the counter. He also said that even if he tried alternatives, he’d tell me he didn’t like them just to go back to the old methods.

His only suggested compromise was putting the toaster into the already-full pots/pans cupboard, which doesn’t fit, creates cross‑contamination risk, and just relocates the problem.

We argued and went in circles. I admit neither of us handled the initial argument well. Once it became clear he wasn’t open to any change, I didn’t see a point in continuing the conversation and went to the bedroom to cool off (I didn’t lock myself in, just stepped away). He left for the night. I told him I didn’t want him to leave but wasn’t going to stop him as at that point I thought we both needed space. Later he texted me “fuck you.”

The next day he came back, picked up half his things, didn’t want to talk, said “it’s all about you,” (ie I'm selfish) and left again. Then he sent a text about me not expecting him and not being able to park in the garage, which didn’t seem related to the situation.

I genuinely thought we were trying to solve a shared problem. These appliances aren’t “his". We both use them. I use my smoothie blender daily and it doesn’t get counter space. I’m overwhelmed and unsure whether I handled this poorly.

I’d appreciate outside perspective.

Just joined cause I need to vent. Bf ate my gf shrimp last night and I half assed called him out for eating it for him to basically say “Oh are we labelling food now” meanwhile he has like 3 half opened bags of chicken wings and egg rolls among other things. Fast forward to tonight and it’s been a shit day. 9pm I’m starved and too emotionally beat to cook and just want to order food but can’t afford it so I think ok, I have shrimp I can heat quick in the air fryer … oh wait. THIS is why I’m defensive over my gf food because he has options, I don’t. It was the ONLY thing I could have quickly “cooked” but since he ate that instead of his own gluten filled food I wish I could eat, I have no options. I got irrationally angry (as one does on an empty stomach and after an emotionally charged day) and he asked what was wrong and I didn’t want to tell him because I expected a blow up again but he promised he wouldn’t so I told him “THIS is why I’m defensive about it because I’m emotional, it’s late, I don’t want to cook and the one gf I thing I had here that could be thrown in the oven or air fryer, you ate when you had other options and now other than cooking, I have nothing” and he got PISSED at me for calling him out “now”. “Now” is when I need my gf food hence why I keep ONE thing on hand. Sorry for the long rant. Still emotional and very hungry to boot.